Per request.

Ok so the new girl.  So... she scares me lol.

She scares me because I am so attracted to her, and I havent been attracted to anyone this much since my major ex, Joy, and Joy was the only one that I ever got those kinda butterflies for.  And she scares me because we are finding out that we really look at relationships from a different angle.  I feel like I should go running for the hills...  but I know I won't. 

It is still very new, and we've only hung out once, and we're enjoying getting to know each other over texting and phone calls.  One thing I do like about her is her upfront honesty.  That is something that's been lacking in past relationships... I've dated a lot of secret keepers.  With her, she is open and honest, even if it's something she thinks I might not want to hear.  But I'm finding that she is much more cautious when it comes to love and relationships, but I also think that might be good for me.  I am cautious too at first, but as I've told her, when i fall, I fall hard... and that's 'all she wrote' kinda thing haha.  She is more guarded, and it takes her a long time to be sure about a relationship.  But again, I kind of like that, because I know that she'll never be playing games, won't be saying something and really be holding back in her own mind.  She has said that her biggest issue with past relationships and dates is that the girls wanted too much too fast, and that she doesn't operate like that.  So, I know I need someone who is like that.  I have so much on my plate right now with wanting to make this move in a few months, and get a new job there, and find a place to live... I don't want to get distracted.  If you know me at all, you know that relationships definitely distract me haha.  I end up putting so much of myself into them, that I lose sight of so many other things.  So to take things really slow with someone, it would be perfect. 

Oh, and she looks really young haha, but she is actually 4 months older than me.  yes... 4 whole months lol.  But Squirty got to meet her for 2 minutes when she and I hung out, because I was picking up a key from Squirt to be able to get in her house later to sleep there.  The next morning when Squirt and I were having coffee and breakfast, she said 'what is she like 18 kelly???'  haha..  it was funny.  But New Girl is ummm..  yeah. she's just really fuckin cute.  She's got a great body, a really adorable smile, and the sweetest girly voice I've ever heard, and she's also really shy in person, which to me is just so endearing.  I'm finding that she's strong willed, knows who she is and what she wants, but that softness and shy demeanor to her just makes me melt.  We went to a couple places for drinks (we were both exploring the city because she just recently moved there and I havent moved there yet) and we also went to this old timey theater to see 'The Kids Are All Right'.  Since the theater was old, it didn't have cup holders to hold the drink that we shared, so she put it in between her legs while I held the popcorn.  At one point, I signaled that i wanted the drink and she just grinned at me so I had to grab the drink from between her legs.  When I was done with it, I tried to hand it back to her, but she decided to just open her legs for me to put it back in its place instead.  We both giggled and locked eyes for a split second before we both jolted our faces back towards the screen.  I'm sure we were both blushing lol.  At the end of the movie, I looked over at her to ask if she'd liked it, and she whispered in her sweetest girly voice 'I hafta peeee so bad'.  Lol... please don't ask me why, but it was just the sweet tone of her voice when she said it that had me swooning, and thinking oh my god she's so fuckin cute.  We went out to another place to get some grub and some drinks, and lucky for her, her favorite thing was on the big screen-baseball.  When the drinks came, she started dancing in her seat, and then again when the food came.  I'm telling you... she is just so fucking cute.  She also danced in her seat to some music in my car.  :)  At the end of the date, when I was dropping her off back home, I pulled up to her place and she said 'ok... now for the awkward first goodbye' with a big smile.  I got out of the car and met her on her side.  I wanted to kiss her so bad, and she locked eyes with me and I could tell she wanted to also... but we were both just so nervous and shy, so I just went in for a hug.  Well it ended up being a fabulous hug, we just stood there for what seemed like 3 minutes and hugged each other really tight, and rubbed each others' backs...  it just felt so good.  I should have just lifted my head and kissed her, but I'm kinda glad that I didnt, because it gives us something to look foward to.  She smelled soooooo good too. I know that when we see each other next, we won't be as shy since we've been talking so much.  When I left, I texted her that i had wanted to kiss her but was too nervous, and she texted back 'ditto... hence the awkward goodbye :-)' 

So yeah, she scares me.  I'm gonna try to just keep my cool.  I really need to do that, for myself anyway.  I have a lot that I want to accomplish in the next few months, but it's still fun to feel the butterflies every now and then :).

100 posts!

I just realized that I just hit 100 posts on this blog.  To celebrate, I'm going to write an updated list of my '100 Things About Me.'  I recently read over my list (look for it in my bio on here) and realized that some of the things on my list have changed, or the ideals have changed...  but I guess a lot can change in a year.  I wrote it one year ago next month, so I think I'll start a tradition of trying to make a new list every year.  This should be fun, to see what has changed, and see what else I can come up with.  Keep an eye out for it, it'll probably take me a bit to complete it.  :)

geeeetar. and my dad.

So SquirtyB has been responsible for introducing me to a lot of great music.  The first one I fell in love with was Grace Potter.  And then she told me about Brandi Carlile.  I even had the opportunity to see Brandi with Squirt, but I decided to proceed with a really bad date instead lol (when will i learn??).  Anyway... this new girl I'm talkin to calls Brandi her gf... so I decided it was time to go ahead and listen to her, and download some of her songs, so I'd have something in my car to play when new girl was riding with me.  Well...  yeah I think I'm falling in love with her too.  Brandi, I mean, lol.  I've been saying for years now that I want to learn how to play my guitar (yes... i have a beautiful brand new acoustic guitar, and I got it for my birthday from my dad a few years ago, and I have never learned how to play it, and it's currently sitting in my dad's garage in her hard case, and suddenly she's calling me name).  Listening to Brandi Carlile has really made me want to learn to play, and learn some of her songs.  So I found some of her sheet music, and I'm gonna take it to my dad and start lessons.  My favorite cousin came down recently, and while we were all havin some drinks and playin pool at my dad's house... he got out my dad's guitar and sang a song that he dedicated to me, and then my dad played some and then he played some more...  and all i wanted to do was go over and grab that guitar and sing my own song.  My aunt and uncle also sing and play a bunch of instruments...  it's just in our blood.  I used to play piano...  but guitar just seems so much more my style haha.  Anyway... I'm hopin my dad's up for it, and I think he will be since he recently made a comment about how he doesn't feel like I show him enough love.  I kind of liked hearing this from him, just for the simple fact that he and I are both getting more vocal about wanting to be close with each other.  It's not something that he's said easily before.  So I think this is the perfect way for us to bond... him teaching me one of his passions and hobbies. 

Well hi there.

So I took a little trip to the city where I'm thinkin about movin (and this is where my Squirty B lives, and she graciously let me crash on her couch) and I had a good trip there.  It was my first trip there that was for the purposes of lookin around to see salons where i could work.  I went into quite a few, and there is one that is really standing out to me.  She and I had been emailing back and forth for the past week, and I got to see her, but she was busy with a client so I didn't get to sit and talk with her.  But the place is really cute, it's an old house that's been converted into a business..  and just being in there.. I felt so stylish and cute and confident... like it was a place that I would want to promote and tell people that i worked there.  Plus the owner had told me through emails that she sends her stylists to New York for training classes in hair...  I would literally be on cloud 9.  :) 

I am literally just saving up every last penny that I can at the point, so that i can move in a few months, and have a nice cushion to fall back on.  I want to make a few more trips, and take a look at a few more salons that I just found out about.  Oh and now I have another friend that says she would move there with me.. she's actually way out in AZ but she wants to move here, and we were talking about living together in the city I am in now.  Well I told her that i wanted to move, and she said that she'd actually already been looking at schools there, she wants to go to hair schools too (aww!).  I had cut her hair a few months ago when she was out here visiting, and she said that me cutting her hair, and all of the passion that I put into it, inspired her to follow her heart and go to hair school, like she's always wanted to.  :)  What a compliment! 

Oh and I met a new girl, and she is sweet and cute as hell, and she gives me butterflies (and I give her the same butterfliesss!!!), and I met her for the first time while I was in the new city visiting.  :)  It is of course very new, and I don't want to get my hopes up about her, and subconciously make this move somewhat about the idea of finding love there...  I really want to make this decision about myself, and about making myself happy and maybe even finding 'home' even if I don't end up staying there.  Whatever is meant to happen, will happen.  I just need a change, and I know that I need to just go ahead and do it for myself, rather than waiting for life to happen around me.  I'm excited to see how this all plays out for me, and excited for some long needed and awaited CHANGE. :)

So much to say!

Ok so I have a new plan that I'm considering working towards.  So maybe it's more of a new idea, but I'm definitely looking into it.

As many of you might know...  I have been living in the same city since I was born.  And you may also know... that I want... OUT!  I have been longing for a change of scenery ever since I can remember.  It's weird to feel like you don't belong where you've always been.  About the only thing I think I'll miss here is the beach... but I could do without that for a chance to see and experience new things, new people, new surroundings... a new life.  I'm just ready to get out of here.

I was talking to an old coworker on the phone the other day.  She and I worked together everyday for 4 years, and we of course became very close.  I have since quit the salon (about 8 months ago) and she has since moved 4 states away after getting married and he got stationed down there.  So our 'catch up' phone calls end up including about every detail of our lives that we've missed since being apart haha.  Well... after 3 minutes of talking... she stopped talking about her latest story and said 'kelly... what's wrong?'  to which I replied... huh?  What are you talking about?  Well... she could hear it in my voice, like only she would be able to.  But she just knows when I'm not at my usual 100%.  And, without me having to even say it.. (or even realize what my underlying tones really mean at the time) she tells me that she thinks I should move already.  She has a cousin who is moving to Richmond (which is about 2 hours away) and that she thinks I should go with her, and be roommates.  Ok so 2 hours away doesn't sound like a big move... but the difference in culture and surroundings would be great.  The gay scene is bigger there (as it is in any bigger city I guess), the art scene is definitely bigger there... just so many more possibilities.

I brushed it off when she first said it... but I've really been thinking about it.  On top of moving, I think I want to get back into a salon.  I have loved doing my own thing (and most importantly, making my own hours and MONEY), but I miss being a part of a salon family.  My life has become lonely.  I go to my clients' homes, do their hair, and then leave by myself.  I have made some new friends and acquaintances by doing this, but nothing like what I had when I was working in the salon.  But I don't want to work in a different salon in this area.  I think I just have a mental block against this place at this point.  I don't want to get into anything that would tie me down here.  I've had 2 clients here offer to even open salons for me... and I've turned them down.  I have my reasons... I don't want to be a part of anything that keeps me here.  So I've been doing some online research about salons there, and been in touch with a couple of them.  I've sent my resume off, and gotten invited to visit a few there. 

I've talked to the cousin that is moving there... but not sure that I'd want to live with her.  I've had a lot of bad roommate situations, and I wouldn't ever want to have a reason to not be ok with her family.  Plus I have no idea how 'okay' she'd be with the gay thing.  I think on the outside she'd be fine with it... but if I start dating someone it could be a different story.  She just seems a little more sheltered... but who knows.  We're gonna have lunch and talk about everything and then I'll have a better idea of if we'd be good roommates. So I might just look for another roommate there... but not sure about that yet. 

Also, I'm thinking that because this city is still somewhat close to home, I could definitely keep some of my clients, just come home a couple times a month to keep up with them, so I could keep that portion of my income until I start making more money there. 

This all might sound like a small change, small move to some of you... but this is huge for me.  I love that city, love the atmosphere there... but I'm still scared.  My reason for being scared is money.  I'm just scared that I won't be able to do it all on my own.  But I think if I have a real goal to work towards, and the idea of being somewhere where I feel more like myself, and around people that i might even have more in common with...  I would work harder to be able to sustain the new lifestyle.  I think my issue is just that I've kinda always had a helping hand from my parents in one way or another, which in turn has left me feeling like I might not be able to do it on my own.  But I can.  I have the passion and the talent to make something of myself.  I know I can do this... and I'm getting really excited about it. It'll be a few months before I move if everythign works out, I want to save up more money before moving away so I have a cushion. 

Sound like a good idea?

Let's see.

I'm really feeling things build up lately, and I don't like it.  The 'one more bad date' and Jamie, this person that i called a friend, stealing something that was so personal and sentimental to me (read my past two blog posts)...  and a few other things.  I just can really feel things weighing on me, and I can feel it all getting heavier and heavier.  It might not even be things that are that bad, it's definitely not anything I can't handle, but I just can't stand feeling this way.  I want to tell myself that this is me hitting rock bottom, because once you hit rock bottom you can only go up.  I thrive on being a positive and happy person, and whenever that's not my mood, it really affects me.  It makes me not able to focus on things, makes me feel completely uninspired, and unmotivated to do anything. 

My closest friend right now, H, has really gone off the deep end lately.  She's been going through a lot, and it's gotten to the point where I don't really know how to help her or communicate with her anymore.  She's drinking everyday, and it's just not fun anymore.  At the beginning of the summer, it really was just all about having fun, but now it's like she's drowning her sorrows in it, and she's also started dating her new neighbor who is very recently going through a divorce....  I'm talking about like a couple weeks before H and he met, and started dating.  So now, she's putting all of her time into him, and all I hear about are her drunken episodes, how they've already fought so many times, but that she still wants to hang out with him cuz she doesn't wanna be alone.  So yeah, the entire situation is not any fun for me anymore.  Like, at all.  I'm really over it actually. 

Other friends have moved away, other friends turned out to not be friends at all, and overall I'm just feeling really disconnected.  I went and saw a friend and her gf this past weekend, and we had fun, I always love going there and seeing her, but her gf got upset with me over something that I said, that either came out the wrong way, or she took the wrong way.  We were both drinking, so I don't even really remember what was said, but i just remember all of a sudden feeling like she thought i was a giant asshole, and there wasn't really a way to talk myself out of it.  As much as I tried, it was just silence on the other end. I don't know... but it was just like one more thing that I had to sulk about and deal with...  And it was really nobody's fault, well maybe it was my fault and I just don't know or don't remember, but ugh.  I'm really just needing a bright light at the end of this tunnel. 

I think that right now, while I'm feeling disconnected anyway, it's gonna be a really good time to just work on myself.  I'm not happy with my weight and health, and I want to work on that.  I saw my trainer today, and she's just gotten affiliated with a company that does healthy living and meal plans, and she's a health coach.  We had a long long talk about how I've been feeling, and she helped me to see that I need to work on my relationship with myself to be able to get out of this tunnel.  I need this, and I deserve this.  It's going to be a lot of work, but I realize now more than ever how much I need this kind of change for myself.  I need to feel good about myself, and I think that just that simple change about how I feel about me, will change so much of how I feel about the world around me.  She has said that if I start working now, I could lose 40lbs by Christmas.  I don't want to plan on that, because I've never lost that much weight at one time, and it just sounds completely unattainable, but I am going to just focus on losing 20lbs to start with.  I need to actually lose about 60lbs according to my height, to be in a healthy place, but I need to start with baby steps.  I also think that losing 20lbs would just make me feel so great, and hopefully will be the jumping off point for change. 

I know I need to change something, because whatever I'm doing now isn't working, and I can feel it everyday.  I need change.  I need to feel the sunshine in my life again.

Fawk You Friday!!!

This is my first time participating in a Fawk You Friday, and I have to say that it is the PERFECT day for me to start.  I'm livid right now.  Read on, but be warned that this is NO NICE POST.

Ok so.  Let me just go ahead and get it out there.  FAWK YOU JAMIE.  For real.  Fawk you.  And I know I don't usually use names in my blog, but I am just so mad that I don't care. Jamie.  The bitch's name is JAMIE. 

Jamie and I have known each other for a little over a year now.  Last summer was a blast.  I lived in an apartment with my roommate chris, and although he was the messiest roommate, we got along really well.  You wouldn't think so if you read some of my old posts lol...  but of course this blog was my place to vent haha.  He and I still talk, he's one of my best buddies.  Well he and I would hang out with a bunch of the other peeps in our apartment complex, and we'd have big group 'family' dinners (as we'd call them), big block parties, all of us would go to the beach every sunday (this is about 10-15 of us i'm talking about).  It was a great summer, probably one of my most favorite ones of all time so far.  Well Jamie was one of those people in our apartment family.  If you asked her, she'd tell you that she was responsible for getting us all together, that she was the one who planned everything, that we should all be grateful to her for such a wonderful summer.  She was the one that most of us wouldn't care if we 'lost.'  She always wanted to be the center of attention.  This included her wanting to make out with all of the girls, and she would frequently flash everyone to show off her pierced nipples.  Whenever we'd throw big parties that we'd invite other friends to, she'd put on some kinda name tag that said 'host', and then get completely pissed off when new people wouldn't show her the respect she so rightfully deserved.  She was a mess.  She has a boyfriend who is quiet and calm and who would usually just sit in their apartment and read or something.  We all had no idea why they were together, how he put up with her. 

Ok so that's the background.  Since last summer, almost everyone moved away.  The people I was closest with moved back home to GA after getting out of the military here.  I moved out of the apt complex late last year, Chris my roommate just recently moved back home to Missouri, and everyone else just kinda dispersed, except for Jamie and her boyfriend.  They stayed there until a few days ago.  I would go and see them sometimes for dinner, and I did her hair FOR FREE for the past year.  Not just haircuts ya'll, I did full highlights and haircuts about every 6 weeks on her.  The past few times I did her hair, I started telling her that I couldn't do it for free anymore, I'm going into business for myself and I need the money.  So she asked me 'ok how much does my color cost you?'  She actually expected to just pay me for what it cost me, not what i charge everyone else.  So for the past 3 times, she's handing me $30 (for what I did to her hair, I would be charging a minimum of $85) and says 'I put a tip in there for ya.'  My goodness.  Thank you, you gracious being.  She would follow up the past 3 hair appts with complaints about her hair a couple days later.  This never happened when it was free.  And her complaints were completely unjustified, especially since she didn't take care of her hair at all, she used shitty shampoo and would always throw her hair up in a messy bun while it's still wet.  It wasn't that I didn't do good work on her, I absolutely did, but don't expect me to run over to your house to redo one or two foils because you don't like the placement of the highlights or a slightly off color of blonde, when I'm a working girl and you're paying me shit.  During the last complaint i got from her via text message, saying that when she pulls her hair back, she can see some roots already on one side, I fought back and said that i have given her free hairdos for a year and i'm tired of her talking to me this way.  I felt that she was always looking for something to complain about, and I was over it.  The argument progressed, and it didn't end nicely.  Jamie, as we know, can do or say no wrong, so there is no sense in fighting with her, there will be no apology or any recognition of her being wrong or out of line. 

A few months ago, she found out that her boyfriend is getting stationed about 5 hours from here, and that they'd be moving near the beginning of august.  Well, when i moved out of that apartment back at the end of last year, I was having to put most of my stuff in storage, one of the things being my big $800 cherry oak sleigh bed frame.  My dad gave me this bed frame for my 21st birthday, and I got to pick it out myself.  I LOVE THIS BED ok.  I'm short, only 5'1, and i have to climb up onto it.  But I didn't have room for it where I was moving, so the plan was to put it in storage.  While Jamie was over visiting me as I was packing up, she asked if she could use the bed frame until I needed it again, since their mattresses were just laying on the floor.  I said sure... it was just going into storage anyway.  So they took it.  Well since they'd made plans for moving, we'd been conversing over when I could come get the bed.  As far as I knew, I had until the beginning of next week before they were moving.  I hadn't heard anything different, and hadn't talked to her since the middle of July.  I had told her that I needed to find someone with a truck that i could use to pick it up.  Well, with starting my new job, and recently taking on quite a few new hair clients, and also working on a painting project that the guy has agreed to pay me $800 for (yayyyyy!  go meee!!) I hadn't rounded up a truck yet.  Well, just yesterday morning, I get on facebook and see that Jamie has posted a status saying 'goodbye face book'.  Hmmm.  Why goodbye facebook?  I don't get it.  So I text her. 

Me: 'hey have you already moved??' 

Jamie:  Yes ma'am

Me:  Um ok.  So where's my bed?

Jamie:  Here.

Me:  What?  you took it with you?  Are you serious?

Jamie:  Yes.  I gave you plenty of time to come and get it, and I wasn't going to just let it sit by the dumpster.

OH.  MY.  GOD.  The little bitch stole my bed frame, and she left a week earlier than she had told me.  When I start going off on her, she says that she figured that since I hadn't come to get it, she thought I didn't want it, and that she's had far more things to worry about than my bed frame getting back to me, and starts talking about how her mom is in the hospital and she's been working and packing and BLAH BLAH BLAH.  Are you serious, you asshole???  I told her that it was never a question of 'if' i was going to get it, it was a question of 'when'.  I said that after all i had done for her, I never thought that she'd be capable of stealing something so big from me.  I also mentioned that it was funny how I was always the one standing up for her to everyone else when we'd all get tired of her bullshit, and that in the end she screws me over the worst.  Well the little shit told me that she's not my babysitter (ahem?  excuse me?) and that it wasn't her responsibility to make sure that I got my stuff before she moved, and that if I wanted it, I could come and get it, or I could send her money to ship it to me.  I.  Am.  Livid. 

Ok ok ok.  Shake it off.  Seriously, I'm having to pace back and forth and shake my hands off to keep from screaming.  This happened yesterday, and just from writing about it, the rage is filling me up all over again.  I just don't know how some people's minds work.  I can't imagine doing that to someone else that I once called a friend, and to someone who had done so much for me already.  I don't know how she is able to sleep peacefully at night, AND IN MY BED.  I've lost something that was sentimental to me, and was damn expensive.  Yes, it is only a piece of furniture, and I don't need it to survive or anything, but god damn.  I'll get over it, and at least I know that karma isn't going to be coming for me. 

But yeah.  Fuck YOU Jamie. 

Another bad date for the books.

I'm actually seriously thinking about writing a book about all of my bad dates.  And I have another story to add to the list. 

So I've been talking to this woman for about a week.  She's 36, a high school theater teacher, and she also directs plays and things of that nature all over the place.  She's also working on getting her masters in theater, and wants to be a theater professor at a local college.  She also acts in plays and dinner theater too.  We were both attracted to each other's artistic creativity while getting to know each other, but it slowly became obvious that she was much more attracted to her own capabilities and achievements than my own, or anyone else's for that matter.  Still, she has accomplished so much, so I took it as she's just proud of her life, and wants to share it with me, and maybe she's just a little on the nervous side when getting to know someone, and hopefully she'll calm down with the 'i did this with this famous person, and worked with this famous person, and i've met so and so and me me me and i i i'.  I was hopeful.  It was interesting to talk to someone who was so passionate about the arts, as I am, so I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

I'm not sure that I'll ever learn to just trust my initial judgements or feelings.  I need to. 

Anyway, she wants to take me out for drinks, and we decide to meet at a place of my choosing after I'm done with a client around 9.  I get there first, get a table, and wait.  She comes in and we hug, and sit down, and order drinks.  Within 5 minutes of sitting down, she's is texting on her phone.  This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves, and I think it's completely rude and inappropriate on a first date.  The rest of the date went something like this:  She'd ask me questions about myself or how my day was or things of that nature, and then interrupt me with a new story of her own.  She'd tell me to order whatever I wanted for drinks, or appetizers to share, and so I did.  I had 3 drinks, and we ordered a plate of potato skins to share.  She continues to text off and on, saying that it's people from her dinner theater asking her questions because she's not there, but she had already told me that the dinner theater is over between 830 and 9, and it is after 10 at this point, so right away I know she's lying.  She asks me more questions, and then as I'm answering, she starts texting under the table, as if I'm not going to know what she's doing.  At one point she even pointed out every piece of clothing that she had chosen to wear that night, and explained in detail how she loves her own personal style.  By the time the waiter came over to ask if we were ready for the check, I was over it.  He asked if we wanted the check seperate or together, and she said together is fine.  Well the check comes, and he sets it on the table between us, where it sits for at least another 5 minutes.  I'm totally confused the whole time, and wondering why she's not picking it up, and trying to not make eye contact with it.  After a while, she looks down at it, and says 'ok well I only have cash... and it's $49.54!'  I just look at her, without any idea of how I'm supposed to respond, so I say, 'ok do you want me to help with the bill?  All I have is a card...'  and she says 'Well I guess you're gonna have to just put it on your card then.'  Really?  I mean really.  I put my card down, and she tosses a $10 bill at me.  When he brings the card and receipt back, she says that she'll get the tip, and folds up some money and puts it on the tray.  I would have never asked this if she had been paying for it, but since I was paying, I asked her how much did she leave.  She said $7.  I said... 'ummm what?  The bill was $50, and you're leaving him $7???'  She said 'sorry, my math is horrible, is that not good enough?'  I was appalled.  I said ok well I'm gonna leave more for him, and she said no no, and threw down another 3 dollars.  I still wanted to leave more, the guy was an absolute cutie, was very friendly and gave us excellent service.  I just couldn't believe how cheap she was. 

I mean, really??????

New Job and Shark Week YES.

SHARK WEEK starts tonight on the discovery channel, and I'm SO excited lol. 

So I started my new coffee shop job on Saturday.  I have to say that I kinda have mixed feelings about it.  I really love the atmosphere there, and I already really like the customers.  Some of the regulars are already learning my name, and I think it's cute that customers are introducing themselves to me, 'Oh you must be new!  Hi!  It's nice to meet you!'  It's pretty precious.  This is why I love coffee shops though...  you only get to see these customers for 5 minutes a day, but it's a part of their day that they look foward to, so they're always happy to see you.  :)



But yeah, the thing I'm not too crazy about, is my coworkers.  They're not the typical coffee shop crew, or the ones that I've met so far anyway.  I've worked 2 shifts so far, and have worked with this one girl both times.  She has been there for 4 years, and she has told me that she's flat out sick of this job, and that she's going to nursing school and can't wait to leave.  So needless to say, she gets easily irritated with very small things, and this isnt exactly great for me, the new girl.  She's kinda funny though.  Sometimes she'll be irritable, and then she'll snap out of it quicker than I can do a double take, and starts getting all excited about the fact that I do hair, and how she wants me to do her hair, and just can't wait and oh my god.  lol...  I just don't know what to expect with her.  So when she's all being nice and friendly, I milk it for all it's worth!  I start getting excited too, and then bring up other topics that are friendly topics and that I can see she gets happy about.  I'm just gonna have to kill her with kindness til we get used to each other lol.

I really think that it's just gonna be a period of adjustment, which there is in any job of course.  But she is a manager there, and she just has no idea how to manage.  She kinda just became manager because she's the one that's been there the longest, I'm guessing.  So far, she's made 2 mistakes (one during each of my shifts) and has somehow tried to pin it on me, because I guess it's easy to blame things on the new girl that's still learning.  I of course have made several mistakes, and forgotten some things, but I'm already getting better.  I still have yet to make more than just a couple drinks, I've been spending most of my time there learning the register.  This is no easy task ya'll... for real.  I mean, this place is like a full cafe, with breakfast and lunch served all day, and hot drinks, cold drinks, smoothies, blended drinks, italian sodas that we make, and a full bakery.  It's a lot to learn, and there are seperate screens for each one of those categories, and some of the items are misplaced... and it's just a lot to learn, when you have to meander around all these different screens to find what you're looking for, and the customer in front of you is going down their list of 3 sandwiches all prepared differently, and 6 drinks and different too. 

BUT!  Overall, I think that once I actually get into the swing of things, I'm gonna feel a lot better about it all.  It's really fast paced at times, and I love that part of it.  Time flies by, and hey, I get free coffee :)

Oh and guess what else?  She has an artist's paintings hanging on the walls, and she said I can bring in my paintings and hang them up to sell them.  CHYEAHHH!

Coffee shop love :)

So I am really REALLY excited to say that I got a new job, and I'm starting tomorrow.  :)

I had said that I was gonna start that other extrememly part time job previously this week.  Well that didn't happen.  I got ridiculously sick the night before I was about to start.  Apparently my friends and I were passing around some kind of stomach virus, and it had me up getting sick all night, and some the next day.  I was dizzy and weak for about 2 days.  Yeah, was lots of fun.  So anyway, Wed morning I had a client (that I definitely didn't wanna get outta bed for, was still not back to 100% awesomeness) but I did anyway.  I love this guy.  He's the CEO of the financial planning firm that I'm working with, he's absolutely hilarious, and he always wants me to come to his office to cut his hair.  So 9am wed morning, that's where I was.  Everytime I go to cut his hair, I go into this adorable little coffee shop that's a couple blocks away when I'm done.  Everytime I've been in there, I've asked if they're hiring, and the girl working behind the counter would always say she didn't know but that the owner wasn't there, so I should come back in a couple weeks.  Well THIS TIME!  The owner was there, and she was this little asian lady who was up working with the girl, and she's pregnant.  One of the customers who I assume is a regular said 'what are you doing working!!  you should be off your feet!" and the owner said that she'd had 3 girls leave and that she's having to pick up the slack.  Well I immediately yelled out "well are you hiring?????" with a big smile, and the girl handed me an application.  I started filling it out right there while they made my coffee drink and breakfast sandwich.  The girl brought me my drink with a smile, and as I finished up my application my sandwich was ready.  I was originally going to get it to go, but I sat down and ate it there, just in case the owner wanted to talk to me then.  When all the other customers had left, the owner looked over my app and started asking me questions from behind the counter.  "So you've started your own business then?"  and i told her about my hair and art stuff.  She then came over and sat with me, we talked for about another 5 minutes, and she hired me on the spot :).  "How soon can you start??"  hehe... I start tomorrow morning. 

Yes I know this might not sound like a huge deal to you, but you just don't understand my love of coffee shops.  I eventually want to open my own coffee shop in some small town somewhere, so I've been wanting to get back into a coffee shop to get around it again, so I can start relearning the business of it.  And this place is so cute...  I'll have to post pictures.  My most favorite job ever was working in a coffee shop.  I'm.  Just.  So.  Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On an even better note, this week has been really good for my hair business.  Even with my sickyness, I got a total of 5 new clients this week.  This is huge!  I had 4 new clients last week.  All of my new clients have loved their hair, I've even gotten a couple of emails thanking me for such a good job, and how much they just love it.  A few are passing out flyers for me, and everyone's just been really supportive.  I really feel like things are finally on the way up, and life is just getting better and better.  Maybe that tarot card reading was right!  Or maybe it just gave me the boost that I needed :)  yay!!!

ok ok ok.

I know I haven't been keeping up very well with writing in here.  To be honest, I just haven't felt like it lately. 

I'm starting a new EXTREMELY part time job this tuesday.  I signed on with a temp agency, and they found me the job.  It's only one day a week, but the girl that I'm working with at the agency is looking for other things to fill up my other days.  I guess it's a start haha.  But I have been getting busier with hair clients too..  had a good week last week, and having another good one this week. 

Oh yeah I got a tarot card reading done..  there was a girl giving them at this event that i was involved in, I was a vendor in it, showing off my artwork and advertising my hair services.  The event was a total flop..  hardly anyone showed up and we had been working on this thing for almost 2 months.  We had 11 vendors... and maybe 15 guests came?  It was horrible, but luckily I did make some good contacts with the other vendors, and got a few clients out of it.  Hey... I'll take what I can get!  And one of the girls that I met there, I already did her hair and she LOVED it... seriously the girl went a little crazy she loved it so much haha... and I'm doing her sister's and mom's hair this week, and possibly her aunt in the near future as well.  So you just never know what doors will open.  ANYWAY, about the tarot card reading...  the girl tells you to think about something that has been bothering you, or something that you feel lost about, or just something that you're wanting an answer for.  So I think about my career path. And then I question myself and wonder if I should be thinking about my love life?  And then I flip back and forth between the two like 8 times in a matter of like 3 seconds, and decide to settle on the career path, while keeping the love life in a close second for questioning haha. She puts all the cards face down on the table and tells me to pick out 3 cards and place them down in front of me in the order that i pick them.  These represent the past, present, and future of whatever it is that I'm thinking about.  She turns the first card over, and then she explains to me that the card means that in the past, I had let something go for the greater good of my future, something that I wanted to work out, and that did help me, but that I bravely let it go, and that this was a good idea (I'm immediately thinking of how I left my salon job to go into business for myself, and if I'm thinking about love..  of course that means my exes lol).  The second card is for the present time, and she turns it over and tells me that it means I'm sitting in idle, and that I need to be patient (which is true of both things again..  my career path is kinda sitting still right now..  i mean it's going in the right direction, but just more slowly than I'd like;  and also my love life is definitely in idle right now...  there is absolutely no one that has my eye right now, and I'm jsut kinda waiting for the right one to come along).  And then for the whopper:  the future card.  She flips it over, and the girl actually lost her breathe and said 'wow... that is a very powerful card.'  It was the empress card, and basically it means that big things are coming my way in the future.  She said that hardly anyone has ever picked this card out of her deck in all the years she's been doing this.  I just stood there and couldn't help but get really excited, and also exhaled and just calmed down inside.  Maybe it's all in fun...  but it's fun to think about and consider!

Ok so I was just reading through the best of craigslist.  Have ya'll read any of these?  I'm picking out some of my favorites.. the ones that had me actually laughing out loud while reading them... and putting them on here for you to read.  Some people are so crazy and ridiculous... and they're all on craigslist!!  I'll warn you though... some of these are extremely X rated... but still SO worth reading!  The first one is my favorite!!  So just read these if you're looking for a good laugh :)

No More Sex With Fruit

Orange Popsicles

Litter Box Cleaning for Pancakes

To Every Male Employee at the Diner haha... this is pretty hilarious too.

Penis Caught In Zipper---Oh dear god! You are kidding me.

ok that's enough for now!  Goodnight!

bzzzzzzzzzzyyy body

I've been so busy lately that i feel like I don't even have time to think lol.  It's been good though.  I think i've busied myself into a body breakdown.  I have a ridiculous cold that I just can't shake for a few days now.  The kind where I can't sleep because I'm up all night coughing, and have to keep shifting in my bed to be able to breathe at all.  But hey!  My abs are getting a long overdue work out hahaha. 

I've cut meat out of my diet for a week now, and gonna try to keep this up for a while.  This is the only way i've ever been able to lose weight, and it always made me feel better too when I did it.  Still eating fish and some poultry, but trying to keep poultry to a minimum too.  Eventually I'll cut that out as well. 

I'm having bouts of really ridiculous emotionalness.  I'm crying all the time lately, over being happy and being sad haha.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I cry over happy movies the most though.  I watched Mr. Holland's Opus (one of my all time favorite movies, probably seen it like 50 times at least) the other day while I was painting, and I sobbed throughout the entire thing lol.  I had to keep stopping my painting because I had to wipe my face, that seemed to be draining every possible way.  It was cute, I'm sure.

But I'm having fun, overall.  H (new best friend) and I are seeing each other almost everyday, drinking A LOT, smokin up sometimes too, and we're at the beach or pool so much that I'm thinking my tan has never looked so gooooood.  I'm looking for a new job, and I'm supposed to hear back from a company today about their decision, went through two interviews with them so far.  I've met a few new girls.  One of them was literally a clone of my major ex Joy.  It was scary.  She walked like her, talked like her, acted like her, had the exact same body shape and posture, same huge boobs (well this girl's were even bigger than Joy's) and the same face shape, she even smelled like her. She's absolutely gorgeous.  I mean..  really, REALLY gorgeous. The only difference was her hair, she had longggg blonde hair down her back, and joy's was shorter and darker (when i did it hehe).  I even told Joy about her, she laughed and said 'oh lord!  maybe you should just lock her in the basement!'  haha.  yeah, one 'joy' is enough for my life lol, not even gonna go there! The hottie was up my butt for a couple weeks, but I think she caught on after a bit. There have been a couple other prospects though, but I'm still keeping an open mind.  Sometimes I feel lonely and just want the comfort of someone there, but I also know that I won't be happy if I rush into something again, and I need to take my time and just let things happen. 

Have a big event tomorrow where I have my own booth to display my art and tell people about how I do hair and come to their houses and stuff, along with 10 other vendors who all do something that has to do with beauty and girly stuff (selling jewelry, skin analysis, massage, we even have a tarot card reader!).  We're all doing raffles and stuff... I'm hoping it's going to be a big deal, we've been planning it for over a month, and it'll be a good way for us all to get our names out there.  I've done probably 5 or 6 new paintings just this week, and I still have a couple more to finish today, so i need to get back to that.  I'll post pictures. 

Bloggerstock: The Story of What is on your Desk

This is my first time participating in Bloggerstock, and I just think it's the coolest thing ever.  Miss Allison is guest posting on my blog today, and I will be guest posting here for TbR.  Check out the Bloggerstock Website to see more about what it's all abouttt!

And now, it is my pleasure to present Allison!

*********************************************

Hi! I’m Allison from My Quarter-life Crisis  (not a very original blog title, I know) and this is my second Bloggerstock experience and I’m super stoked to be posting for StarGazer today. Bloggerstock is a blog swap project where each blogger posts on the name that comes after them – forming a ring. When I first saw the topic: “The Story of What is on your Desk” I knew immediately that this post was going to have to be photo based. My desk is basically The Island of Misfit Toys meets Office Space meets a hipster book club meeting. My desk is super cluttered! Gone are the days of actually using it as a workspace.



So let’s get right to it, shall we…

To your left is a CD rack – which actually doubles as a lamp. It’s not plugged in and it’s covered in dust. Next to that is a peg-leg sailor statue from Newfoundland, Canada. My parents went there a few years back and when they asked what I wanted I said, “I want a peg-leg sailor statue.” My mom thought it was weird and that it would be hard to find. To her surprise, and mine, she found him (and another). Love it. Next to that is an old photo of my grandfather. He passed away a few years ago and I saw this photo and knew I had to have a copy.

This photo features a mini Champaign bottle full of flags (city of Montreal flag, the Scottish Standing Lion, and The Union Jack). In front of it is an old paper doll called “Dianne.” She was found in the wall in our basement and I’ve had her since I was little. There’s also a fedora that I wore one New Year’s and a tiny book the shape of a cube.

When I was in University, for Professional Writing, I was told it was important to have a variety of dictionaries. While my huge Canadian Oxford isn’t pictured here – these handy pocket dictionaries are. The old one was my grandma’s – which I think is very cool.

I’m a huge book lover and collector. My cheap Ikea desk might collapse someday from the weight.

These are my Dave Eggers’ books (most of them anyways). He’s one of my favourite writers and I also admire his views on traditional publishing. All McSweeney’s (his imprint) books are beautiful – bound in cloth and leather. There’s also a book there by David Sedaris – another hero of mine.

Lastly, every blogger must have writing implements! Sometimes you just gotta kick it old school and write on pen and paper. I’m always writing down ideas by hand.



Thank you for reading! Check my blog for a post by another fine blogger on the same subject!  http://websterslaw.blogspot.com/

Stole this from TbR, I'm feeling uninspired for writing, so this works.

What is your most embarrassing moment of all time?
I got a lot more easily embarrassed when I was younger, I can't think of any big whoppers in my big girl years.  But this one does always stick out in my memory.  I was probably in 3rd or 4th grade.  It was a friday, and I was going to be going home from school with one of my girlfriends to spend the night.  I had packed up some clothes and stuffed them in my backpack, and for some reason I took my backpack with me to my desk to just set it down there (instead of the usual hanging it up next to the classroom door).  Sometime during class, this extremely obnoxious little boy who sat next to me started yelling and pointing down towards my feet.  He scared the bejeezes outta me, but before long, I realized that he was yelling 'ewwwww!!  someone's underwear is on the floorrr!!  EEEEWWWWWWW!!!'  Apparently, the underwear that I had packed had crept out of my bag, and decided to make its big appearance right in front of the boy that I hated the most.  All of the kids started laughing as I scrambled to pick them up and stuff them back where they belonged.  I'm sure I've had other much more embarrassing moments, but it's not everyday that you have an entire classroom of 7 year olds laughing at you!


If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Well, if I knew I would never gain a pound from it, I would probably go with fettuccine alfredo with shrimp and veggies in it.  Actually scratch that, don't joke, but I would go with Olive Garden's Steak Gorganzola Alfredo, with the steak cooked rare.  Oh my god... this dish is just heaven.  I seriously get the same thing everytime I go there.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Well, I was in middle school, maybe around the age of 12?  It was this cute little boy with long hair (first sign that I liked girrrrrlls?  hahaha) who was in my youth group.  Yeah, we had our first kiss IN CHURCH.  beat that bitches.  hahaha.

What is your browser home page?
Actually I have no idea.  I just got a new computer and that is one of the things that I haven't changed.  I pretty much always go straight to my email.  But on my old comp, I had the MSNBC homepage.


What colour do you never wear?
khaki, or beige, or yellow.  Well, yellow I will wear, just as long as it's an accent color, not like the entire color of the ensemble.  I've actually started wearing a lot more color this year, I used to just wear a lot of black (this started in hair school, we had to wear all black everyday) with jeans.  I still wear pretty much just jeans unless I'm in a skirt or a dress, but yeah, colors have definitely made their way into my wardrobe this year, and I like it.  :)

Nature lover or city slicker?
This is hard to say right now.  I think that I want to end up in the country, but I really love being in a big city too.  I've grown up in the same place, been here all my life, and it's kind of a mix of the two, but without ANY of the perks of either.  I think that I just want to move and experience both extremes for themselves.

If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?
HMMMMM...  let me think.

1.  I'd want to become wealthy just by selling my art (or at least just enough to survive!) If I could do nothing but paint all day... my life would be set.

2.  I'd wish to fall in love, a deep real love, like nothing I've ever experienced before.

3.  I'd wish to drop my excess weight, without actually having to work for it lol. 


Do you have any scars? How did you get them?
Well I have lots of teeny tiny little scars on my hands, most of them you can't even see anymore, but they're from cutting myself during haircuts.  Our shears are SHARP!  There have been quite a few times where I have cut myself in the middle of a haircut, and just smiled saying 'I'll be right back!' as I jet to the back room and had my coworker wrap up my finger with a bandaid and surgical tape, then run back to finish the cut haha.

Have you ever seen a ghost?
I believe that I have seen one.  It was in a friend's house.  Funny part is that I knew two different families that lived in this same house, and both said that it was haunted.  It was while the second family was living there that I went to spend the night with the girl (we were probably in middle school), and as we were watching a movie late at night, we saw a shadow on the wall beside us in the flickering lights from the movie.  It sent chills all through my body, and it was only a flash of a shadow. 

What is your dream job?
 
Ha, well, I think I already answered this.  I just want to paint.  I do love doing hair too, don't get me wrong, but painting is just something I do for myself first, and for other people after, if they like it. 
 
Ya'll need to steal this from me now, and answer the questions.  hehe.

But everytime I close my eyes, I see my name in shining lights.

Had another fantabulous weekend!  I may not remember all of it, but I do remember that it was great.  My summer tan is off to a head start with all this ridiculous HEAT, so if I'm outside, I'm in the pool haha.  My shoulders and thighs are peeling as we speak. Or, maybe as I type, and you read.  heh.

My friend H and I have been spending a lot of time together.  I'm really excited about how well we get along, it's been a couple years since I really felt like I had a best friend.  She's been a client of mine for a couple years, but we just started hanging out this year as friends.  She's the one that I'm going to be getting a place with.  I just love her to pieces.  We always have a good time, usually end up laughing for hours and getting a little messed up haha.  I took her with me to see Squirty this past weekend.  We all went to Squirt's horsey barn, met her horses, and watched her ride.  She offered to let me ride her GYNORMOUS horsey when she was done, but it was just so hot outside that by then I felt a little like I was dying.  hehe ok...  maybe not DYING but still...  sooooooo not comfy.  After that, we headed back to the house to freshen up, and then headed out to that same bar where I saw my dream girl about a month ago or so.  The freakin bar was empty as hell...  like.. freakishly empty.  But we still danced for a bit, H even spinned around the big pole in the middle of the dance floor (that was a sight, the only straight girl in there swinging on a pole in a lesbo bar hahaha) and we had some drinks, met a girl who had a tattoo on her ear, and I pouted a little bit about not seeing my dream girl again.  We tried a couple other places when we finally realized that it wasnt going to pick up at all that night, the first place scared the bejeezes outta me, so we tried another place that was jam packed, and H found a new dancing partner who pulled her up on stage and then blew her off 3 minutes later.  I'd be surprised if she remembers that lol, we had just sucked down the final redbull and vodka of the night.  When we got home, we ate our leftover pizza and hummus, did a little bit more of what Katt Williams (that guy is hilariousss) would say is his favorite pasttime, and basically passed out. 

Squirt filled our bellies with yum yum pancakes and coffee the next morning, and we were on our way home.  We got stuck in traffic and tried to take a detour around it... got totally lost hahaha.  We ended up on the Colonial Parkway in Williamsburg, which apparently is a NEVER ENDING but gorgeous place.  They even have beaches out there.  I kept thinking that it would end and somehow lead us back to the interstate, but it never did, so we were on that thing for a little over an hour, from start to finish (which was back where we started).  Even that was fun though, we were jammin out to 'I wanna be a billionaireee so fuckin bad...  buy all of the things I never had...'  omgosh i love that song lol.  We probably repeated it like 10 times. 

The rest of the weekend was spent doing some hair clients, in the pool, and at a bbq.  I love summatime!!

I'm a day late...

But I'm a blogging cheater and I'm gonna play anyway hehe.  I just came across this and I wanna play!  Visit Keely's page to play along. 






The questions..




1. While at the beach, pool, etc..Do you cover up your assets or show them off?  It's just too hard to cover them up haha.  My boobs are assets that I don't hide very often.  I do cover up my tummy though.  That... is not quite an 'asset' right now lol.


2. Road trips or Plane trips?  It all depends on who you're traveling with.  If i'm with family, I need to make the traveling part as quick and painless as possible lol.  But with friends or a lover, road trips are one of my favorite things, they totally warm my heart :).


3. I can't stand it when...?  people purposely use incorrect grammar or slang.


4. Have you ever gone topless at the beach?  haha... yeah..  read my last post actually!  I haven't ever gone topless in the daytime though, but I would in a different country or something, where it was allowed.  I actually just talked to someone about this recently.  I think it would be invigorating.


5. How many blog carnivals do you do a week?  Well, as of now, this is gonna be my only one.


6. My favorite thing about the weekend is...?  Letting loose and seeing friends and the beach or pool. 


7. Pancakes or waffles?  Usually pancakes.  Especially with bananas in them.  I grew up on that.  Yummmm!


8. Water Park or Amusement Park?  Water park!!  I used to be able to ride all the amusement park rides all day long, but now I get motion sickness on them.  Water parks are a blast though.

Summatiiiiiiiime and the livin's easy.

Man...  there's just a whole different feeling in the air, when it's summertime.  I'm really just having a great time, and I am loving this feeling.  I feel like life is just full of possibilities, and it's all being laid out before me.  I told myself at the beginning of this year, that this was going to be 'MY YEAR'.  My year to make something of myself, my year to fall in love, my year to learn more about myself, my year to discover what it is that I'm really looking for, my year to just flat out be happy.  And guess what?  It's working.  I'm happy.  chyeahhh!

I'll tell ya what, sometimes being single is flippin awesome.  It's especially awesome when you're not hung up on anyone, and truly just living for yourself.  I had another amazing beach night with a new flame.  This flame (if it even goes this far) is going to be nothing serious at all, we've already established that we are just NOT RIGHT for each other as far as relationships go.  But the sexual chemistry is definitely there, and I think it might be good for me to just let myself go, and enjoy something just for the fun of it.  It's pretty funny how we met, she's actually that other ex of the nasty ex I had written about recently a few times.  She and I had been friends on facebook for a long long time, and would say heyyy what's up every now and then, but we never really talked much until we started just recently comparing stores about the ex.  Lol...  sorry if this is hard to follow.  We'll call the 'new flame' Anne, so as to not further complicate this story lol. 

Anyway, Anne's and my convos seemed to somehow make their way into flirtations, that ended up getting super scandalous before we even knew it, and i'll tell ya what, it's a blast haha.  It's exhilarating actually.  She's totally not my type, in any sense of the word, but I think that's why it seems so appealing.  She's cocky, extremely outspoken, has absolutely no limits in life, and is apparently very confident in her own abilities.  I have yet to see if these claims to fame are more than just...  well... claims to fame...  but I might just have to find out.  I, on the other hand, tend to be more reserved with matters like this, and it has seriously been years since I've actually purposefully engaged in a 'free-love' kinda thing.  I've had my heart set on 'finding the one' for so long...  I just haven't considered this to be a possibility for my own actions in years...  does that make sense?

Back to our night on the beach.  We got two bottles of wine a couple nights ago, and headed down to the beach at around 10pm.  I keep a big beach towel and blanket in my trunk for beach nights like these.  We downed the first bottle of wine, stripped our clothes off, and ran naked into the water.  Oh, my god.  I can't even explain the feeling you get when you're naked in the ocean, when there's no one around for miles, when the only light that you see is from the moon and the stars...  It's just amazing.  She and I wrestled in the waves, got back out, drank our second bottle of wine while wrapped up in the blanket, and went right back in the water for at least another 30 minutes.  At one point, I jumped on her, and our legs intertwined, and it was all I could do to not kiss her, but for some reason, we held off. The combination of her skin and the water felt like silk all over my body.  The feeling of our breasts brushing up against each other was intoxicating.  Each touch between us was short lived (just enough to be a tease) because the waves were huge, and it was impossible to keep holding on to each other without going under.  After more and more romping in the waves, we got out for good, and went back to the blanket.  We stayed in the nude, and just cuddled up under the blanket and told each other funny stories and just laughed and laughed, she made quite a few flirtacious comments towards me and even interrupted one of my stories to say 'ugh it's just so hard not to kiss you,' and at some point, we dropped the blanket.  By now we were anything but shy with each other when it came to our nakedness, when low and behold, she jumps and screams 'oh my god!' and motions behind me.  I turn to see about 8 people walking down to the water about 40 ft away from us.  It was around 1am at this point, and the last thing we thought we'd see was other people on this dark and deserted beach.  We started laughing hysterically (muffled of course, as to not draw attention to ourselves) as we scrambled to wrap the blanket around ourselves again.  Thankfully, it really was too dark for them to see us, but was still hilarious. 

It was such an amazing night.  We never did kiss, but we plan to go back and have another beach night soon.  I'm thinking that my first sex of this summer is gonna be amazing.  She makes me feel sexy as hell, adventurous, and alive. It's just what I need.

Changed it all up again haha

Ok so I had way too much fun designing the new blog look.  I swear... I could spend all day doing this stuff. 

I got new eyeball glasses today, for the first time!  I love them.  I got a ton of compliments already.  They're so cute, and yes, they're even purple-ish. 

I've been meeting with a financial planner, and it's just really great.  I feel like I'm headed in the right direction!!  The head of the company even asked me to do his hair (he's been sitting in on my meetings and giving me marketing ideas).  His assistant called me this morning before our meeting to ask if I could bring my hairstuff with me to cut his hair.  I brought my bag of goodies, and a sheet to lay down since we'd be doing it in his office.  (haha..  that last line sounded dirty lol.)  Anyway, he loved his hair, and told me that he's going on a cruise with his wife tomorrow with 10 other couples who are local friends of his, and he's going to tell all of them about me. 

I just feel so lucky lately.  Everyone I've met has been so supportive, and just so full of ideas.  :-)

OH MY GOD.

I just found out that Chelsea Handler is gonna be coming to town just an hour and a half from me in a couple weeks.  I am ECSTATIC.  I have to go see her.  Squirt, she's coming to your town.  Wanna go?????  I LOVE her.  She is hilarious.  Oh my god i can't wait.  chhhhhhyeahhhhh!!!

Ok, time for a smile.

So I promised details on new events a couple posts ago, so here we are.  The first thing was that I was talking to someone new who was peeking my interest.  Well my peek flat out dropped hahaha.  Had a date with her last sunday, and we had fun meeting up in a city that was between us, went to a couple museums, walked under a bridge and explored, and then out of no where before we're about to head to the dinner restaurant, she seriously attacks me with a really inappropriate first kiss.  With all the messes of my past, I'm really just realizing that there are things that I want, and that I shouldnt settle for less.  And damnit, I want to have a really romantic and amazing first kiss.  I've had one really great first kiss.  We'd had a good share of drinks between us, and decided to go down to the beach at night to sit on a blanket that I always keep in the back of my car, and listen to the waves.  I remember rambling on and on because I was tipsy and nervous, and she just put her hand on the back of my neck, caught my attention, looked me right in the eyes, and said "honey, shush, why don't you just kiss me?"  and I fell right into it, and it was passionate and soft and magical and delicious and sexy and perfect.  I want another moment like that.  So when I'm getting settled in my driver's seat after walking in the rain, looking down to put my seatbelt on, and you pretty much bump my head as you swallow my face with no warning...  that's just not gonna cut it.  Sorry babe.  At 34, you should know by now how to go in for a kiss.  And then the rest of the evening was just awkward.. and then the next day I was bombarded with texts saying that I'm rude and that I'm being short with her.  And I even ended up blowing off a friend that night when she was going to a concert that I would have really enjoyed. 

So ya know what?  I've decided that this summer is going to be mine.  I stayed single all through last summer, and it was the best summer I'd had in years.  I just had fun with my friends, and it was everything I could have needed or wanted.  I've made some new friends over the past year, reconnected with older ones, and I've already had a few crazy random nights of fun this summer. When something is meant to happen, it will. 
And more importantly, I really just need to concentrate on building up my business.  I met with a financial planner last week, and it was honestly the best meeting of my life.  I have never felt more like I'm on the right track.  I'm excited to see my progression in the next year, even just this summer.  I'm really getting my shit together, and it's making me really happy and proud of myself.  Things are even getting better at home, and I'm not feeling as hounded lately.  I had to have a serious talk with my mom about how she needs to just back off instead of wanting to control and 'help' me every minute.  I'm a big girl, and I can handle it, but no one flourishes while being micro-managed by their mother.  The stepdad is learning to shut it too, and is being much more respectful of me.  Good things.

I'm ecstatic that it's summer.  It's just a whole new feeling in the air, and I'm really feeling good about life right now.  Here's to a great summer!!!