I'm wondering if I'm just freaking out because it's in me to do that, or if this is actually meaning something...
Something doesn't feel right. I've been feeling something slightly uneasy since she told me that we needed to take a step back. I respected her for saying so, but it feels like it also took some of the excitement out of it.
Why does every new thing in life end up feeling like a new experiment? I've been trying to cover up these uneasy feelings since that incident, and just enjoying the good things about us, but it seems like these feelings are coming to the surface again. I'm just so scared to make a wrong decision, and it scares me that I feel like I can't trust my own judgement right now, because I'm still in it. Yes, I know this is kinda heavy talk for someone I've only been dating for 2 months, and maybe I should just ignore all this, but I just still feel like I'm searching for something.
I'll be 26 next month. I know I'm not supposed to have all of the answers right now, but it'd be nice to have a couple. At least my business seems to be picking up right now. I'm feeling like maybe I should just concentrate on that, on bettering myself right now, of making something of myself, getting stable. That is very important to me, and I'd probably start to feel a lot better about myself. I recently sent out a promotion flyer to all of my clients, and it's definitely been working. I've been getting phone calls everyday to make new appointments. I sent them a flyer saying that I'd give them a 25% discount if they're able to refer one new client to me before the end of April. I even made up these cute little coupons that my clients can hand out to the people they're refering, they just have to write their name on it as the referring client. It's been exciting to see how many of my clients have called to tell me that I'll be hearing from their friends/coworkers/family members, and it's been a reminder for them too, to book their next appt with me, so I'm filling up faster than I ever have before. Go me! It was a good idea. Even if it means I'm promoting myself in a town where I don't want to be. I am creating a business there, sinking my roots in even deeper, but that's ok. It's my only option right now.
I don't think I even wrote in here my big offer. I have this client, Sandra. I have been doing her hair for almost 3 years, and we've gotten to be good friends outside of just her hairdos. She's in her late 30s, and she owns a couple businesses. I've partied hard with her, confided in her about my ridiculous relationships, we've done fundraisers together, and she has become somewhat of a mentor in my life. She's always been very supportive of me, she's purchased a couple of my paintings and has always been willing to lend a helping hand when I've been lost and in need of some kind words. I've done the same for her, and seen her through a couple silly girlfriends. I absolutely love her current lady, and have become close with her as well. I do both of their hairdos, and now do the gf's kids' hairs too. Anyway, the last time I did their hair, after a couple cocktails in S's kitchen, they sat me down and told me that they have been doing a lot of thinking. Sandra absolutely loves the business world, and has been 'itching' to open up a new one. She and her gf 'Little One' came up with the idea of opening up a salon, and they want me to run it. Neither one of them know anything about the salon industry, but they believe in me and my talent, and think it would be a fun adventure. They know that I don't have any money to put into the business, and they're not asking for anything. They said that I would be able to take home 100% of my profits in return for being their manager. I would be able to hire whoever I wanted, use whatever products I wanted, basically make all the decisions, and they would handle all on the business end. Can you imagine someone just laying that opportunity at your feet?
They offered me this about a month after MJ and I started talking. I did some thinking about it, talked to MJ about it, talked to both of my parents about it, and came to the conclusion that I didn't want to take this offer because of the fact that I didn't want to get tied down in that area. I'll admit that one of the bigger factors was also that I knew MJ wouldn't be able to move to my city based on her job. So I didn't want to be tied there, and she couldn't move there. I'm now wondering if I should reconsider. It now sounds like an awful lot to pass up at this point. I may be open to rethinking that decision. I'm going to think about it for a while. It could be just the thing that I need to make me feel great right now. MJ was supportive of the idea when it was offered to me. She said that if we're meant to be then we'll make it work. Maybe I need to just do it. How many times is an offer like that going to pop up in my life?
Oh geez... here I go again. Thinking thinking thinking.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Feelings Again
Maybe I've been sitting here too long with too much time to think and maybe I'm just bored and lonely and feeling a little idle but who knows. These are just thoughts. Just explorations. Just me being me I guess.
But anyway, we have a small predicament. Adalie, the cat. She is apparently keeping MJ up all night. She is apparently a little too crazy for MJ to take care of being that she already has a dog and that she lives alone, and that Adalie is extremely desperate for attention at any given time in the day. So, ok. That's fine. I appreciated that MJ offered to take in my cat for me since I'm not able to keep her at my mom's house where I'm living right now. So I've been looking for a new place for her to stay, which is just disheartening as it is. I feel sorry for this cat who is being shipped around because i'm unable to care for her myself. I feel bad for asking anyone to take in my responsibility to their own home. It makes me feel sick actually, I don't like having anyone take on any extra weight for me. But anyway, my friends A and B who are a couple had said that they would be happy to take her in, just as long as she gets along with their own brand new kitten that they've had for only 2 weeks, but who is very close in age with my kitty Adalie. So I'm planning on taking her to their house tomorrow when I leave MJ's house (I've been here for the past couple days babysitting the animals while she's away on business). I get a text tonight that B has just taken A to the ER because she's been really sick and the doctor is saying that she is so allergic to cats that he is insisting that they get rid of their new cat. So they can't very well take in another one!
So here I am, between a rock and a hard place. MJ is thinking that the cat is gonna be gone by the time she gets home, so I text her letting her know what's going on, and ask if she has any ideas, and if not that I'm just planning on trying to find the cat a new permanent home. It's just too much right now, and I can't take care of her and it's making me feel like shit for the cat to be moved around so much and I really don't want to have to ask anyone else to babysit for however long until I'm able to take her in again. I don't know how long I'm going to be at my mom's house at this point.
Anyway, when MJ calls me, she just sounds so irritated. It's like, I already know that I have put this burden on her, and I'm doing all I can to take care of it, but she just has no problem letting me know that she just 'doesn't want to keep my cat anymore.' Ugh. I just feel like she could have tried to make it a little easier on me and maybe just shown a little sensitivity towards the fact that not only is this hard for me to know that I have to give up my cat, but that I also have to figure out what I'm going to do with her. She just didn't seem to want to make me feel the least bit ok about it, and I have to admit that it bothers me.
I'm trying to look at this objectively and it's making me think that maybe this could prove to be a difficulty in the future for us. I know that I want to be in a supportive relationship, where the support is just oozing from both sides for the other. And i just know that if I had been in her shoes, I would have said "that's ok baby, I'll keep her until you can find her another home, I understand that it's not your fault." I just don't really understand why she had to make me feel worse about it. And maybe she wasn't trying to, but there just wasn't an ounce of sensitivity about the subject at hand. I just don't know... but I do know that it bothers me.
All I know is that I'm taking everything in strides, and doing my best to not get sucked into this if it happens to not be right. I'm not going to write everything off, because after all.. this is still our 'getting to know each other' phase and it might jsut be that I'm not understanding her yet, or that she's not understanding me and my needs. There are definitely still more positives than negatives, so I'm just gonna calm down and take a seat and see how it all plays out with an open mind.
But anyway, we have a small predicament. Adalie, the cat. She is apparently keeping MJ up all night. She is apparently a little too crazy for MJ to take care of being that she already has a dog and that she lives alone, and that Adalie is extremely desperate for attention at any given time in the day. So, ok. That's fine. I appreciated that MJ offered to take in my cat for me since I'm not able to keep her at my mom's house where I'm living right now. So I've been looking for a new place for her to stay, which is just disheartening as it is. I feel sorry for this cat who is being shipped around because i'm unable to care for her myself. I feel bad for asking anyone to take in my responsibility to their own home. It makes me feel sick actually, I don't like having anyone take on any extra weight for me. But anyway, my friends A and B who are a couple had said that they would be happy to take her in, just as long as she gets along with their own brand new kitten that they've had for only 2 weeks, but who is very close in age with my kitty Adalie. So I'm planning on taking her to their house tomorrow when I leave MJ's house (I've been here for the past couple days babysitting the animals while she's away on business). I get a text tonight that B has just taken A to the ER because she's been really sick and the doctor is saying that she is so allergic to cats that he is insisting that they get rid of their new cat. So they can't very well take in another one!
So here I am, between a rock and a hard place. MJ is thinking that the cat is gonna be gone by the time she gets home, so I text her letting her know what's going on, and ask if she has any ideas, and if not that I'm just planning on trying to find the cat a new permanent home. It's just too much right now, and I can't take care of her and it's making me feel like shit for the cat to be moved around so much and I really don't want to have to ask anyone else to babysit for however long until I'm able to take her in again. I don't know how long I'm going to be at my mom's house at this point.
Anyway, when MJ calls me, she just sounds so irritated. It's like, I already know that I have put this burden on her, and I'm doing all I can to take care of it, but she just has no problem letting me know that she just 'doesn't want to keep my cat anymore.' Ugh. I just feel like she could have tried to make it a little easier on me and maybe just shown a little sensitivity towards the fact that not only is this hard for me to know that I have to give up my cat, but that I also have to figure out what I'm going to do with her. She just didn't seem to want to make me feel the least bit ok about it, and I have to admit that it bothers me.
I'm trying to look at this objectively and it's making me think that maybe this could prove to be a difficulty in the future for us. I know that I want to be in a supportive relationship, where the support is just oozing from both sides for the other. And i just know that if I had been in her shoes, I would have said "that's ok baby, I'll keep her until you can find her another home, I understand that it's not your fault." I just don't really understand why she had to make me feel worse about it. And maybe she wasn't trying to, but there just wasn't an ounce of sensitivity about the subject at hand. I just don't know... but I do know that it bothers me.
All I know is that I'm taking everything in strides, and doing my best to not get sucked into this if it happens to not be right. I'm not going to write everything off, because after all.. this is still our 'getting to know each other' phase and it might jsut be that I'm not understanding her yet, or that she's not understanding me and my needs. There are definitely still more positives than negatives, so I'm just gonna calm down and take a seat and see how it all plays out with an open mind.
Friday, March 26, 2010
New website!
Instead of writing in my blog like I should have been, and I always feel guilty when I don't (why I wonder?), I made myself a new website that has all of my art information and my hair information. Go check it out!
http://makeitartsy.com/
Let me know what ya'll think and if there are any things you would change or just do differently. Thanks!
Update post coming soon... I really just need to make the time to sit down and blog again, on an actual usual basis. I loved it when I did!
http://makeitartsy.com/
Let me know what ya'll think and if there are any things you would change or just do differently. Thanks!
Update post coming soon... I really just need to make the time to sit down and blog again, on an actual usual basis. I loved it when I did!
Friday, March 12, 2010
ok so this is me just scaring myself.
Well maybe not... but I am scared just the same.
I'm finding myself fall into old habits. This particular habit was created in me by being in bad relationships that made me feel bad about myself. But basically I'm finding that I'm constantly thinking about how scared I am that MJ is just going to walk away unexpectedly. When I think about it logically, I don't think that she will, and I know that she is different and that she is actually someone I can be honest with, someone I can trust. But just the same, it's creating this insecurity in me, which I'm sure is making its way to the surface, and could very easily turn me into this annoying and smothering girlfriend. I don't really know how to shake this feeling, and I'm trying hard not to freak out. I don't really know why this is even happening, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking that it's too good to be true and that this good thing won't last, simply just because i actually want it to. I'm hoping that this feeling will go away and that with time I'll feel more comfortable with her, and be able to trust in us more.
She hasn't done anything to make me feel like I can't trust her when she says she wants to be with me, so why is it that I'm feeling so insecure about it? So far, I've been the one with the issues. I've been the one that's scared. I've been the one that she has had to reassure, sometimes repeatedly over the same topics. I am really scared that my own insecurities about her leaving will be what leads to her actually leaving.. like I'm scared that I'm going to sabatage myself somehow. I'm just scared that she's gonna get tired of reassuring me, and at this point I still feel like I need the reassurance sometimes. How in the hell do I get out of this cycle? I feel like it's the first time I've actually believed in someone else this much, so that's why I'm even that much more scared of losing it, and why I'm freaking out.
Earlier this week, I had mentioned that we had a long talk til 4 in the morning. During that convo, she expressed for the first time that she had freaked about something. When I say she freaked about something, it was so minor and minuscule, and her reaction to it wasn't exactly 'freaking' as mine usually are, she is so calm and so the opposite of my crazy self. But she did express that there was something that needed to be talked about, and so we talked about it. She was calm, got right to the point, and knew exactly what it was that she wanted to say and express to me. It was actually nice, like I said, that she came to me with the issue, and it was worked out. So all in all, we talked it out, and it was refreshing to be able to say exactly what we're thinking without being scared of what the other person was thinking. It wasn't weird the next day. It was fine. Yet I still have this voice in the back of my head.
Another thing I'm thinking about is that I'm wondering if I've gotten this from my mother, or just from my past relationships. MJ and I actually talked about this too. But basically my mom is very happily married now and has been for 4 years. But even in this happy marriage, as she was in all of her other fucked up relationships, she is scared to death to upset her partner. At times it seems like she is walking on eggshells in her own house just scared to do anything or say anything that might upset him. It is something that I've always noticed about her, and something that I've actually talked over with her too, about how I don't think she should be that way. Her husband loves her very much, and so I feel that she shouldn't feel so scared to upset him. She should feel comfortable enough in her relationship with him to be able to just be herself. I don't want it to sound like she is always this scared little woman, because she's definitely not, but it's just at some points where it is very apparent and it bothers me. And it is the very behavior in her that I feel I am now doing myself, in a way. Just because MJ and I talked about her first ever 'issue' with us, I am scared to pieces for there to be another one, or for that same one to be repeated. I don't want her to ever look at me and feel the least bit of dissappointment. And YES I realize that she and i are still so new and that I'm being a tadbit dramatic, but DAMNIT. I don't know how to turn my mind off either, or how to even set it to 'mild' instead of 'extreme'. My mind just goes. and I mean... IT GOES. on and on and on. It wanders and ends up making me worry about things that haven't even happened.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say after all of this is that I'm just scared. All I want is to start a life with her, but I find myself wanting to make things happen too immediately because of my fear of seeing her walk away. I'm not crazy, and I'm not wanting to control her or tie her down. I'm trying to think about this as logically and objectively as possible. I don't know how to just let things naturally happen without having this voice in the back of my head saying that I need to hold on tight or it'll slip away. I wonder if any of this even makes any sense to any of you.
Comments would be GREATLY appreciated in this matter. I'd really like to hear some feedback.
I'm finding myself fall into old habits. This particular habit was created in me by being in bad relationships that made me feel bad about myself. But basically I'm finding that I'm constantly thinking about how scared I am that MJ is just going to walk away unexpectedly. When I think about it logically, I don't think that she will, and I know that she is different and that she is actually someone I can be honest with, someone I can trust. But just the same, it's creating this insecurity in me, which I'm sure is making its way to the surface, and could very easily turn me into this annoying and smothering girlfriend. I don't really know how to shake this feeling, and I'm trying hard not to freak out. I don't really know why this is even happening, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking that it's too good to be true and that this good thing won't last, simply just because i actually want it to. I'm hoping that this feeling will go away and that with time I'll feel more comfortable with her, and be able to trust in us more.
She hasn't done anything to make me feel like I can't trust her when she says she wants to be with me, so why is it that I'm feeling so insecure about it? So far, I've been the one with the issues. I've been the one that's scared. I've been the one that she has had to reassure, sometimes repeatedly over the same topics. I am really scared that my own insecurities about her leaving will be what leads to her actually leaving.. like I'm scared that I'm going to sabatage myself somehow. I'm just scared that she's gonna get tired of reassuring me, and at this point I still feel like I need the reassurance sometimes. How in the hell do I get out of this cycle? I feel like it's the first time I've actually believed in someone else this much, so that's why I'm even that much more scared of losing it, and why I'm freaking out.
Earlier this week, I had mentioned that we had a long talk til 4 in the morning. During that convo, she expressed for the first time that she had freaked about something. When I say she freaked about something, it was so minor and minuscule, and her reaction to it wasn't exactly 'freaking' as mine usually are, she is so calm and so the opposite of my crazy self. But she did express that there was something that needed to be talked about, and so we talked about it. She was calm, got right to the point, and knew exactly what it was that she wanted to say and express to me. It was actually nice, like I said, that she came to me with the issue, and it was worked out. So all in all, we talked it out, and it was refreshing to be able to say exactly what we're thinking without being scared of what the other person was thinking. It wasn't weird the next day. It was fine. Yet I still have this voice in the back of my head.
Another thing I'm thinking about is that I'm wondering if I've gotten this from my mother, or just from my past relationships. MJ and I actually talked about this too. But basically my mom is very happily married now and has been for 4 years. But even in this happy marriage, as she was in all of her other fucked up relationships, she is scared to death to upset her partner. At times it seems like she is walking on eggshells in her own house just scared to do anything or say anything that might upset him. It is something that I've always noticed about her, and something that I've actually talked over with her too, about how I don't think she should be that way. Her husband loves her very much, and so I feel that she shouldn't feel so scared to upset him. She should feel comfortable enough in her relationship with him to be able to just be herself. I don't want it to sound like she is always this scared little woman, because she's definitely not, but it's just at some points where it is very apparent and it bothers me. And it is the very behavior in her that I feel I am now doing myself, in a way. Just because MJ and I talked about her first ever 'issue' with us, I am scared to pieces for there to be another one, or for that same one to be repeated. I don't want her to ever look at me and feel the least bit of dissappointment. And YES I realize that she and i are still so new and that I'm being a tadbit dramatic, but DAMNIT. I don't know how to turn my mind off either, or how to even set it to 'mild' instead of 'extreme'. My mind just goes. and I mean... IT GOES. on and on and on. It wanders and ends up making me worry about things that haven't even happened.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say after all of this is that I'm just scared. All I want is to start a life with her, but I find myself wanting to make things happen too immediately because of my fear of seeing her walk away. I'm not crazy, and I'm not wanting to control her or tie her down. I'm trying to think about this as logically and objectively as possible. I don't know how to just let things naturally happen without having this voice in the back of my head saying that I need to hold on tight or it'll slip away. I wonder if any of this even makes any sense to any of you.
Comments would be GREATLY appreciated in this matter. I'd really like to hear some feedback.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Maybe I'll title this later, after I figure out what I'm writing about.
MJ's asleep in her room 20 ft away from me, and I'm needing my sleep schedule to sync with hers! But for now I'll write, and reflect on this past weekend and week.
Since moving back in with my mom, I had to find a temporary home for my kitty baby Adalie elsewhere, at a good friend's house, until I was able to take her back again. Well MJ said that she'd be happy to go ahead and move her up to her house, so we made that move last weekend. The 4 hour drive here actually was fine, I had been worried that she wouldn't be able to calm down since she doesn't like car rides. I gave her a teensy bit of children's benadryl to calm her down before the ride, and it worked like a charm for about 2 hours. As soon as it wore off, she happened to hear me talking to MJ on the phone and she started meowing like crazy. I stuck my hand in her kitty carrier and she charged out of there, and plopped herself down right on my lap. She had no interest in roaming around the car, she just wanted to be near me. It was so cute, she layed there still and fell asleep for a good hour and a half. When we got to MJ's, she explored the place for a while, and started loving on MJ right from the start. She had two days being the only pet in the house, MJ's mom had her dog for the weekend, but brought her home sunday night. Yeah... they're still in the process of getting used to each other lol. Her dog Haley chases Adalie around, so it's slow going for them to actually be calm around each other, but it's getting a little better everyday. I'm so happy she's here though :-).
Last night MJ and I were up til about 4am. We went to bed around 11 actually, but we had a really long, really important talk. We got everything out about things that were 'bothering' us (so to speak), but more or less just wanting to be on the same page about us and where we're headed and stuff like that. There's actually not really anything that is an actual bother, but more of just the adjustment period i guess. But I'm just so happy that we're able to talk about things. Of course there is still a lot that we're learning about each other, but I've just never been in a relationship where there was so much respect for each other coming from both sides. It's just so refreshing on a daily basis, and I'm still amazed at how easily and naturally it's all happening. I'm really jsut so happy with her, and with the idea of the life we could have together. I'll admit, she's definitely being the more responsible one with us, and she's keeping me grounded, and I appreciate that. She's 7 years older than me (which is something I joke her for relentlessly haha), so at this point I'm happy just letting her take the reins and lead us, and I know I'll get my way in the end, which is to just be happy with someone. I really think she could be the one, and if she isn't, then I'll be crushed, but happy to know that I've at least found it is that I've been looking for. It's just flat out nice to have faith again. And of course, the amazing sex doesn't hurt none either ;-)
We decided I should stay the week this week, since Adalie is here for the first time, and I scheduled my appointments at home to not start until Thursday evening. I've been exploring the area on my own the past couple days while MJ is at work. I've found the cutest little coffee shop, and the girl at the counter was so sweet, with red hair and purple eye shadow. She could for sure be my new best friend and I could for sure work in that cute little coffee shop if I move here hehe. MJ chuckled as I told her of my findings when she got home.
Sweet dreams everyone, I'm gonna go lay with my honey.
Since moving back in with my mom, I had to find a temporary home for my kitty baby Adalie elsewhere, at a good friend's house, until I was able to take her back again. Well MJ said that she'd be happy to go ahead and move her up to her house, so we made that move last weekend. The 4 hour drive here actually was fine, I had been worried that she wouldn't be able to calm down since she doesn't like car rides. I gave her a teensy bit of children's benadryl to calm her down before the ride, and it worked like a charm for about 2 hours. As soon as it wore off, she happened to hear me talking to MJ on the phone and she started meowing like crazy. I stuck my hand in her kitty carrier and she charged out of there, and plopped herself down right on my lap. She had no interest in roaming around the car, she just wanted to be near me. It was so cute, she layed there still and fell asleep for a good hour and a half. When we got to MJ's, she explored the place for a while, and started loving on MJ right from the start. She had two days being the only pet in the house, MJ's mom had her dog for the weekend, but brought her home sunday night. Yeah... they're still in the process of getting used to each other lol. Her dog Haley chases Adalie around, so it's slow going for them to actually be calm around each other, but it's getting a little better everyday. I'm so happy she's here though :-).
Last night MJ and I were up til about 4am. We went to bed around 11 actually, but we had a really long, really important talk. We got everything out about things that were 'bothering' us (so to speak), but more or less just wanting to be on the same page about us and where we're headed and stuff like that. There's actually not really anything that is an actual bother, but more of just the adjustment period i guess. But I'm just so happy that we're able to talk about things. Of course there is still a lot that we're learning about each other, but I've just never been in a relationship where there was so much respect for each other coming from both sides. It's just so refreshing on a daily basis, and I'm still amazed at how easily and naturally it's all happening. I'm really jsut so happy with her, and with the idea of the life we could have together. I'll admit, she's definitely being the more responsible one with us, and she's keeping me grounded, and I appreciate that. She's 7 years older than me (which is something I joke her for relentlessly haha), so at this point I'm happy just letting her take the reins and lead us, and I know I'll get my way in the end, which is to just be happy with someone. I really think she could be the one, and if she isn't, then I'll be crushed, but happy to know that I've at least found it is that I've been looking for. It's just flat out nice to have faith again. And of course, the amazing sex doesn't hurt none either ;-)
We decided I should stay the week this week, since Adalie is here for the first time, and I scheduled my appointments at home to not start until Thursday evening. I've been exploring the area on my own the past couple days while MJ is at work. I've found the cutest little coffee shop, and the girl at the counter was so sweet, with red hair and purple eye shadow. She could for sure be my new best friend and I could for sure work in that cute little coffee shop if I move here hehe. MJ chuckled as I told her of my findings when she got home.
Sweet dreams everyone, I'm gonna go lay with my honey.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
under construction
I apologize for my blog changing colors and backgrounds like 80 times... but I get bored with it and want to change it lol. So it's a work in progress... hopefully it'll be all put together soon. Sorry!
Well hello again!
My goodness... so much to catch up on. I met a lady. My dad had heart surgery, well kind of. I moved back in with my mom for the first time in 7 years to save up some money. I might be moving soon, like awayyy from this town, and I'm really excited about it. I don't even know where to begin. But I guess I always feel overwhelmed after I've been away for a while! And! I got yelled at for not blogging over lunch last weekend in DC lol. It's partly because my computer isnt working right now and I hate having to use my mom's desktop, so I'm hardly on the computer these days. But that's just an excuse lol ;-)
Lady MJ.
MJ and I have been talking close to 2 months I'd say. She lives about 4 hours away from me near Baltimore, that is when we're lucky and we don't get stuck in the nasty DC traffic. She's already met my mom, and I met her parents and about 30 of her relatives just this past weekend at a going away party for her parents (they're moving to London in a couple weeks). It was a little overwhelming, but it was a good time, and I apparently handled it well and was less nervous that she thought I woulda been.
I moved back in with my mom, it's temporary, and it's definitely helping me to save up some money.
My dad went in for a heart cath, and they found that he had another 100% blockage in his heart, but that his heart had naturally made a bypass around the blockage already. It's crazy what our bodies are capable of. The good news is that it can't get any worse because it's already blocked 100%. It causes his mild chest pain from time to time, but he says that it's only about a 2 on a scale from 1 to 10 so he can deal. They've uped his medication for now, and are going to be re-evaluating his in a couple months to see how it's doing. So, for now, this is good news.
Ok I'm about to run out to do another client. But this is enough for now to update this blog lol. I need to get my computer fixed so that I can just keep this up!
Lady MJ.
MJ and I have been talking close to 2 months I'd say. She lives about 4 hours away from me near Baltimore, that is when we're lucky and we don't get stuck in the nasty DC traffic. She's already met my mom, and I met her parents and about 30 of her relatives just this past weekend at a going away party for her parents (they're moving to London in a couple weeks). It was a little overwhelming, but it was a good time, and I apparently handled it well and was less nervous that she thought I woulda been.
I moved back in with my mom, it's temporary, and it's definitely helping me to save up some money.
My dad went in for a heart cath, and they found that he had another 100% blockage in his heart, but that his heart had naturally made a bypass around the blockage already. It's crazy what our bodies are capable of. The good news is that it can't get any worse because it's already blocked 100%. It causes his mild chest pain from time to time, but he says that it's only about a 2 on a scale from 1 to 10 so he can deal. They've uped his medication for now, and are going to be re-evaluating his in a couple months to see how it's doing. So, for now, this is good news.
Ok I'm about to run out to do another client. But this is enough for now to update this blog lol. I need to get my computer fixed so that I can just keep this up!
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