Per request.

Ok so the new girl.  So... she scares me lol.

She scares me because I am so attracted to her, and I havent been attracted to anyone this much since my major ex, Joy, and Joy was the only one that I ever got those kinda butterflies for.  And she scares me because we are finding out that we really look at relationships from a different angle.  I feel like I should go running for the hills...  but I know I won't. 

It is still very new, and we've only hung out once, and we're enjoying getting to know each other over texting and phone calls.  One thing I do like about her is her upfront honesty.  That is something that's been lacking in past relationships... I've dated a lot of secret keepers.  With her, she is open and honest, even if it's something she thinks I might not want to hear.  But I'm finding that she is much more cautious when it comes to love and relationships, but I also think that might be good for me.  I am cautious too at first, but as I've told her, when i fall, I fall hard... and that's 'all she wrote' kinda thing haha.  She is more guarded, and it takes her a long time to be sure about a relationship.  But again, I kind of like that, because I know that she'll never be playing games, won't be saying something and really be holding back in her own mind.  She has said that her biggest issue with past relationships and dates is that the girls wanted too much too fast, and that she doesn't operate like that.  So, I know I need someone who is like that.  I have so much on my plate right now with wanting to make this move in a few months, and get a new job there, and find a place to live... I don't want to get distracted.  If you know me at all, you know that relationships definitely distract me haha.  I end up putting so much of myself into them, that I lose sight of so many other things.  So to take things really slow with someone, it would be perfect. 

Oh, and she looks really young haha, but she is actually 4 months older than me.  yes... 4 whole months lol.  But Squirty got to meet her for 2 minutes when she and I hung out, because I was picking up a key from Squirt to be able to get in her house later to sleep there.  The next morning when Squirt and I were having coffee and breakfast, she said 'what is she like 18 kelly???'  haha..  it was funny.  But New Girl is ummm..  yeah. she's just really fuckin cute.  She's got a great body, a really adorable smile, and the sweetest girly voice I've ever heard, and she's also really shy in person, which to me is just so endearing.  I'm finding that she's strong willed, knows who she is and what she wants, but that softness and shy demeanor to her just makes me melt.  We went to a couple places for drinks (we were both exploring the city because she just recently moved there and I havent moved there yet) and we also went to this old timey theater to see 'The Kids Are All Right'.  Since the theater was old, it didn't have cup holders to hold the drink that we shared, so she put it in between her legs while I held the popcorn.  At one point, I signaled that i wanted the drink and she just grinned at me so I had to grab the drink from between her legs.  When I was done with it, I tried to hand it back to her, but she decided to just open her legs for me to put it back in its place instead.  We both giggled and locked eyes for a split second before we both jolted our faces back towards the screen.  I'm sure we were both blushing lol.  At the end of the movie, I looked over at her to ask if she'd liked it, and she whispered in her sweetest girly voice 'I hafta peeee so bad'.  Lol... please don't ask me why, but it was just the sweet tone of her voice when she said it that had me swooning, and thinking oh my god she's so fuckin cute.  We went out to another place to get some grub and some drinks, and lucky for her, her favorite thing was on the big screen-baseball.  When the drinks came, she started dancing in her seat, and then again when the food came.  I'm telling you... she is just so fucking cute.  She also danced in her seat to some music in my car.  :)  At the end of the date, when I was dropping her off back home, I pulled up to her place and she said 'ok... now for the awkward first goodbye' with a big smile.  I got out of the car and met her on her side.  I wanted to kiss her so bad, and she locked eyes with me and I could tell she wanted to also... but we were both just so nervous and shy, so I just went in for a hug.  Well it ended up being a fabulous hug, we just stood there for what seemed like 3 minutes and hugged each other really tight, and rubbed each others' backs...  it just felt so good.  I should have just lifted my head and kissed her, but I'm kinda glad that I didnt, because it gives us something to look foward to.  She smelled soooooo good too. I know that when we see each other next, we won't be as shy since we've been talking so much.  When I left, I texted her that i had wanted to kiss her but was too nervous, and she texted back 'ditto... hence the awkward goodbye :-)' 

So yeah, she scares me.  I'm gonna try to just keep my cool.  I really need to do that, for myself anyway.  I have a lot that I want to accomplish in the next few months, but it's still fun to feel the butterflies every now and then :).