I've officially been at my job for 90 days :) So that means that I am officially being switched over to commission instead of an hourly rate. I'm ecstatic about this, but also a wee bit scared. But it's ok!!
During the last meeting with my boss, we were going over my numbers.. and I have never EVER been this busy with clients in a salon. My numbers are rising literally every week, it's just so refreshing to see everything falling into place for me, day by day, since I moved here. My 90 days being up also means that I'm now eligible for health insurance. I havent had health insurance in like 3 years, which is bizarre since my entire family sells insurance haha. I havent discussed that with my boss yet, I need to ask her about it.
For the first time in my life, I'm talkin to more than one person at a time haha. I know this sounds silly... but it's new for me. I would usually put all my eggs in one basket and go running, but I'm enjoying getting to know different people, taking it all in, no pressure, just being open. I'm feeling the need to expand my circles of friends... and feeling like this is why I moved away. To expand. To experience new things.
My roommates and I are planning a week long vacay down to the outer banks in July. They've booked the beach house already... now I just have to ease my boss into the idea of me taking time off right in the summer. I'm sure I won't be able to take the full week off, but hopefully I'll be able to get away for at least 4 days. It's gonna be a full house, all of the beds are already claimed, and we're planning on having to make up the couch beds too. Definitely something to look forward to! I'm gonna want to take a trip down to my dad's beach house in Corolla too... but we can only really count on that being available in the off season... he rents it out for 6K a week in the summer... so I can't really ask for a week then. I guess if we actually got enough people to fill the house up, it wouldn't be that much (8 bedrooms, sleeps 17 people comfortably) but I'd still rather just go there for free when it's the off season. I didn't make it down there last year... but man I have so many great memories in that house. If that hot tub could talk... lol. We'd be in trouble!
I'm just so excited for the warmer weather. It makes me giddy. I can't wait to spend days on the water with a beer (or 5) in my hand. This is gonna be a good year.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
A new lesson everyday.
I really do love my life.
I have a friend who had labeled one of her fb photo albums as just that, and she puts all of her happy smiling pictures into it. I love that. I'm so thankful for everything that my life has turned into right now, problems and issues and confusions included. I feel like all of those things are the things that shape you into who you are. I am, and I am becoming who I want to be. And I love that I'm discovering more about myself through all of my experiences.
Overall, I'm still loving my job. I had a tender little tift with my boss last week, but it was all pretty much chalked up to a misunderstanding between us, and she was literally singing my praises by the end of the meeting (which lasted almost 2 hours of us just talking) and she then asked me if I was hungry and wanted to get lunch together lol. The whole situation really just left me chuckling to myself.
Another thing I really love about my job is all the different people I get to meet. I get all these new clients in my chair, and for at least half an hour, I get to peek into their worlds. It's so amazing to be able to come into personal contact with so many different types of people, all going through different lives and different types of things. It's really opened my eyes to how different we all are.
Sidebar: my roommates' two birds are totally messing with my cat lol. I wish I had a video camera right now. They are in their cage but they are hovering around where she has perched herself right next to them... I can't even describe it but it's hilarious. They are all being quiet but it's like they're talking shit to her... like 'try to get me bitch!' it's so funny!
But yeah... just yesterday I worked on 5 different people at work. All of them were new clients to me, and by the end of the day my head was almost spinning from info overload from all of them. I love that people feel like they can open up to me while I'm doing their hair, even if we've just met. I hear about so many different relationships, friendships, experiences, judgements on others, judgements on themselves, I just love that I have the privilege of hearing so many different life stories and opinions.
I've been thinking a lot lately... thoughts like these have never been in my head before. I will admit that I have been a judgemental person in the past, sometimes overly. But I do think that's a part of being a kid, and learning to grow up. I've realized the one thing that ties us all together... our search for happiness. We all have different experiences in life, and we all base our judgements out of our own experiences. I am learning to be more accepting of other people, and each of our pursuits of happiness. We have all made stupid decisions, but isn't that what makes us who we are? I will continue to look back on my life with no regrets, just a growing thirst for experience and knowledge of who I am. I'm so glad that I chose to move away from the hometown... and I feel like this is just the beginning of my adventure. I'm feeling more than ever, the need to broaden my horizons and keep taking everything in that I can get my hands on.
I really do love my life. :)
I have a friend who had labeled one of her fb photo albums as just that, and she puts all of her happy smiling pictures into it. I love that. I'm so thankful for everything that my life has turned into right now, problems and issues and confusions included. I feel like all of those things are the things that shape you into who you are. I am, and I am becoming who I want to be. And I love that I'm discovering more about myself through all of my experiences.
Overall, I'm still loving my job. I had a tender little tift with my boss last week, but it was all pretty much chalked up to a misunderstanding between us, and she was literally singing my praises by the end of the meeting (which lasted almost 2 hours of us just talking) and she then asked me if I was hungry and wanted to get lunch together lol. The whole situation really just left me chuckling to myself.
Another thing I really love about my job is all the different people I get to meet. I get all these new clients in my chair, and for at least half an hour, I get to peek into their worlds. It's so amazing to be able to come into personal contact with so many different types of people, all going through different lives and different types of things. It's really opened my eyes to how different we all are.
Sidebar: my roommates' two birds are totally messing with my cat lol. I wish I had a video camera right now. They are in their cage but they are hovering around where she has perched herself right next to them... I can't even describe it but it's hilarious. They are all being quiet but it's like they're talking shit to her... like 'try to get me bitch!' it's so funny!
But yeah... just yesterday I worked on 5 different people at work. All of them were new clients to me, and by the end of the day my head was almost spinning from info overload from all of them. I love that people feel like they can open up to me while I'm doing their hair, even if we've just met. I hear about so many different relationships, friendships, experiences, judgements on others, judgements on themselves, I just love that I have the privilege of hearing so many different life stories and opinions.
I've been thinking a lot lately... thoughts like these have never been in my head before. I will admit that I have been a judgemental person in the past, sometimes overly. But I do think that's a part of being a kid, and learning to grow up. I've realized the one thing that ties us all together... our search for happiness. We all have different experiences in life, and we all base our judgements out of our own experiences. I am learning to be more accepting of other people, and each of our pursuits of happiness. We have all made stupid decisions, but isn't that what makes us who we are? I will continue to look back on my life with no regrets, just a growing thirst for experience and knowledge of who I am. I'm so glad that I chose to move away from the hometown... and I feel like this is just the beginning of my adventure. I'm feeling more than ever, the need to broaden my horizons and keep taking everything in that I can get my hands on.
I really do love my life. :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
2011 Updates to my List of 100 Things About Me.
Instead of writing an entirely new list, I want to keep the original one, but just make changes accordingly. You can view my original list here.
1. My name is Kelly Marie.
2. My name was chosen by my mom's first husband, when she was 18. She divorced at 19 and married my father when she was 27. She stuck with my name all those years.
3. My parents divorced when I was 10, after 11 unhappy years of marriage. I always hear other people say they're sad their parents divorced, but I couldn't have been happier as a kid to see them split.
4. I have one little sister, Katie. I despised her when we were younger, she annoyed me to the core. At this point in life, she and I pretty much have nothing in common, and don't speak unless we are talking about how much our stepmother annoys the bejeezes out of us.
5. I'm a big family person, I get giddy when I know all of my cousins and aunts and uncles are getting together. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for this reason.
6. I'm a big homebody. I like the comfort of being in my own area.
7. I can also be very social, but usually only comfortable in groups where I know the majority of the people.
8. I get bad anxiety when I'm around a lot of people I don't know, especially in party settings. I clam up and get very shy. I have gotten a lot better with talking to people I don't know, but that feeling still comes out every now and then.
9. My favorite color is purple.
10. At one point I had a purple purse, purple wallet, and purple phone all at once.
11. I frequently wear black clothing. Not because I'm goth or anything, but because it makes me look thinner.
12. If I see an article of clothing that I like but I don't like the color, I'll buy it anyway and use RIT dye to change the color. I even dyed my down comforter which at this point has been dyed about 5 different colors It's now a dark eggplant purple. No, I don't want a new comforter, I'm seriously attached to this one and will keep it as long as there are still feathers in it.
13. I love to paint, and decorate. These go hand in hand a lot of the time, in the past I have painted some of my lamp shades, some lamp stands, a table, and various other things around my house.
14. I have big plans for when I actually have a house of my own. My mailbox will either be painted or covered in mosaic tiles, my front porch steps will be covered in mosaic tiles, and I've been planning out some murals and things I want to paint in the house. Every room will have a touch of me.
15. I've been doing hair for 7 years now, and I am so lucky to have found a profession that I am both good at, and also it has become a passion of mine. I absolutely LOVE what I do.
16. I worked in two different salons in my career (the second one being only just recently), and I also was self employed with it for a year. I went to my clients' homes to do their hair. The money was so much better, and I loved getting even that much closer to a lot of my clients (you'd be surprised how much they open up to you when you're in their kitchen). They also usually fed me and kept my shot glass/wine glass/ beer bottle full. It was a blast. I think I will eventually go back to working from home.
17. Before I started doing hair, I sold insurance. My entire family sells insurance, but at the age of 18, it definitely wasn't on my top list of choice careers. In fact, I came home crying my eyes out one day because of how much I hated it. That was the day I made the decision to go to hair school.
18. Since I have recently moved to Richmond (2 hours away from home) I decided to go back into the salon since I don't have a clientele here. I am building one quickly though, and I love working with all new people. Not that I don't miss my old clients (in fact I still travel back home once a month to keep up with a lot of them... the special ones haha) but I love meeting new people and hearing new stories.
19. Romantically, I'm completely hopeless. Ive had a whole mess of relationships and dating stories that are so bad, they're hilarious, and I long to just find someone to settle down with and come home to.
20. Since I was about 19, I've identified myself as being a lesbian. I have had mindful slip ups a couple of times, wondering if maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong place, but they are always thoughts that are very short lived. I know who I am, and I know I love women, inside and out.
21. When I was younger, I was more free with myself and my love life, but I've gotten much more conservative with myself and my sexual behavior through the years. I don't overly enjoy emotionless sex anymore, it's just not worth it to me these days. I'd much rather wait until there's something there, something worth celebrating.
22. And having said that! Let me say this. I love sex and everything about it. I think a good sexual appetite is healthy and a part of a normal healthy life, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I'm just more protective of my hoo-hoo these days. Or maybe it's that I'm more protective of my heart.
23. I've been living in the same town that I grew up in, all my life (up until December of last year), and I no longer talk to one person that I went to high school with. For the most part, I was never a fan of the kids I went to school with. I went to the 'rich' high school, with a lot of snobby and mean kids, and there were a lot of drugs. I never felt that I fit in, and grew up thinking I wasn't good enough because I didn't fit in with these kids. High school was the worst 4 years of my life.
24. To be completely honest, I sometimes still get that old feeling back of thinking I'm not 'cool' or good enough. It all stems from where I grew up. But I then remind myself that I've made completely new friends and lasting friendships based on who I am now. But there's still that feeling sometimes when I meet someone new, that shy feeling of wondering if they'll think I'm worth their time.
25. Despite that feeling, I'm confident in myself in a lot of things, and it apparently shows. A good friend of mine told me this a couple months ago, that she wishes she were as confident as I am. I was completely surprised when she said this. But the older I get, I know myself better, and I'm getting more confident in myself with that knowledge.
26. I'm very close with my mom, and if it weren't for her, I would have probably moved away from the hometown much sooner.
27. As I said, I moved to Richmond, VA in December of last year. I've been asked a lot from new clients why I moved away from the beach, and they are always surprised to hear that I hated it there, and should have moved away a long time ago. I've wanted to move away from there for such a long time, but I was always too scared to make the change. I'm so glad I did now.
28. I didn't used to be close with my dad, but over the past few years we've gotten worlds closer. I'm so happy for this. He's very supportive of me, my career, and my art, and he was the one to push me to move to Richmond. He said that he knows I'm just like him, with a gypsy soul, I just needed to follow my heart. I did, I am. <3
29. He raised us on his music, which makes me a music snob. Musically, I was definitely born a few decades too late. The Beatles were the all time favorite, and my sister and I are going to be getting tattoos for it. They're meant to be 'sister' tattoos. Hers will say "All You Need Is Love," and mine will say "Love Is All You Need." We're trying to talk my dad into paying for them, but it's going to take some more coaxing. He's not totally excited about tattoos haha.
30. I'm only to number 30, and I need a break. I'm gonna do some painting. One of my favorite movies is Across the Universe, and I just turned it on when the 'strawberry fields forever' scene was playing. He's flinging paint all over the room during this song, and it always makes me wanna paint. Will return and finish this later!
31. I totally and completely believe in karma.
32. I was raised Christian, but don't agree with it. To be honest, I never have. I hated going to church when I was young. In my teenage years, I went just for the purpose of making friends, and I even kissed my first boy in church. After high school, I joined the music team at our church, just so that I could sing on stage, not for the purpose of praising God. It was never about that for me. I don't go to church anymore, except on Christmas, just out of respect for my mother, and for the sake of tradition. But this past Christmas I didn't go. So I officially havent been to church in over a year, and it really doesn't bother me at all.
33. I don't agree with organized religion. For the most part, the people that I've come into contact with who claim to be devout Christians are the people who end up excusing themselves from punishment for less than respectable behavior.
34. I think that life is about being a good person, no matter what your faith. This is where karma comes into play.
35. I get emotional over silly things, and stay pretty calm during actual big things. For instance, I cry sometimes when people win things on The Price Is Right. I get so excited I guess, just to see other people that happy and excited. No, I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this up if I tried. On the other hand, when my grandma passed away, I was really calm and collected when my uncle told me the news. I was a mess at the funeral, but it took a few days for it to sink in, and for me to shed the tears.
36. Back to the religion issue, I see myself being much more spiritual than religious. To me, it's something very personal. I feel overwhelmed and thankful for my life here when I feel at one with nature, if that makes any sense. All I need is a sunny day on the beach listening to the sound of the waves, or to see a rainbow, or feel the breeze through my hair, and I'm all set. I can just look up at whatever's up there, if there is something up there, and feel nothing but beautiful and lucky and healthy.
37. I'll use this number... because it's sort of my lucky number. My lucky number is actually 137. Yes, i know it's odd, and the story behind it is kinda funny. It was my first school bus number when I was in first through third grade. My bus driver, Ms. Pat, had a full stereo system installed in the bus, and would blast music the whole way home everyday. We all had so much fun on that bus, and the number has just always stuck with me. Whenever I happen to look at the clock and it says 1:37, chances are I'm having a great day.
38. I have a habit of starting books and not finishing them. I've gotten so much better about this, and have made it a point to finish the books I'm reading (with some exceptions of course. but what are ya gonna do...)Right now I have two books 'started'.
39. I absolutely hate doing laundry. I can do any kind of chore around the house with a smile on my face, but just not laundry.
40. I can't walk in high heels. I look ridiculous, and usually end up tripping on something. I have actually tripped in my old salon while wearing heels, and of course it was while I was walking up to introduce myself to a new client... and about 3 feet away from shaking their hand, I hit the ground. hahaha... oooooh memories.
41. I'm totally unorganized with money. As a hairstylist, I get cash tips handed to me often, and usually just stuff them in my pocket. While I was just doing the dreaded laundry, I found $40 in the dryer.
42. I absolutely hate any kind of clicking, beeping, or any other kind of annoying noises. Repetitive noises are like nails on a chalkboard to me. It became an ongoing joke in my old salon, and my coworkers would click pens or tap the front desk in an effort to get a rise out of me. I literally flip out and I can't even help it. haha.
43. It has come to my recent attention that when something annoys me, the noises or otherwise, I immediately say 'STOP IT!' in a tone that is about an octive higher than my normal voice. I was never actually aware that I did this on a regular basis, until we were playing a drinking game at the neighbor's house. We were playing drunken jenga (my friend and I wrote funny drinking game things on each piece of the jenga game, and you have to pull one piece out, complete the task, and then stack it on top, like regular jenga) and one of the pegs she pulled said 'impersonate the person to your left'. I was to her left, and she immediately started screaming 'STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!' really loud and high pitched. I looked at her like... huh? and of course everyone started laughing, because it was completely accurate.
44. I love tomatoes, but hate red sauce.
45. I love cooking, but hate going to the grocery store.
46. Actually I hate any type of shopping, but this comes much more into play when I'm with other people for clothes shopping. If I'm there with them while they are shopping and I'm not, it's fine. But if I'm there with other people and I'm shopping too, I hate it because I feel rushed. I don't know. I just prefer it by myself.
47. I especially hate going to the mall. I hate the crowds, and all the fluorescent lighting, I get an instant headache anytime I go in there.
48. I can be a procrastinator. Probably why this post is taking me so long to complete, even though I know I want to.
49. I have a guitar, but don't know how to play it, and really want to. Someone needs to get me guitar lessons or something. I'd do it if someone else paid for it haha.
50. I did ballet for eight years when I was younger. My biggest regret in life is quitting. I was always the youngest girl in all my classes, was very advanced for my age. But when my parents got divorced, we moved to the other side of the city so my mom couldn't drive me to my ballet academy as often as I had been going, so I had to try to find another academy near me. Even at 12 years old, I was too advanced for any school that my mom gave me the option of going to, so I quit. I wish I had just stuck with it until I was old enough to drive myself to the good school. My teachers at the good school had danced in ballet's all over Europe, and were from Italy. Nothing like anything you'd find here.
51. I also used to play the piano when I was younger. But I quit that because my piano teacher was a creepy old lady that lived in our neighborhood. I hated going to her house for lessons. I would like to start playing again though.
52. When I was in middle school, the movie "Titanic" had just come out and was really big. I was in the chorus and of course, we sang the Titanic song. I played the piano for the song while the chorus sang it. I know how to read music, but when I'm playing a song, I play it from memory. I'll only check in with the actual music on front of me if I'm still learning the song, but I never follow it note for note. We performed this 3 times during school hours for the different grades, and then the big performance was at night.
53. During the big performance at night, the auditorium was completely filled with all of our parents and friends that decided to come. My hands were a little shaky, and in the middle of the song, I forgot where I was in the song. I completely froze, and the whole chorus turned around to stare at me along with the whole auditorium of people. I had to flip through pages of music to figure out where I was while the whole room was silent and staring at me. Finally found my place about 30 seconds later (it felt like an hour) and finished the song out. We got a standing ovation hahaha.
54. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's the big holiday in my family for us all to get together. Everyone in my family can cook, and we all pitch in. It's always the absolute best meal of the year. Oh and we are never without bottles and bottles of wine.
55. I was a vegetarian for a year. I quit when Thanksgiving came around. Maybe I'm weak, or maybe our turkeys are always just that good.
56. I want to become a vegetarian again. I've cut out red meat again recently, and am thinking about cutting out poultry soon.
57. If I wasn't a hairstylist, I'd probably never do my hair. I mean I still love getting it colored (I usually at least retouch it myself like once a month) but it's funny that I actually think that I wouldn't pay for it to get done. And yeah... I charge other people for something I wouldn't pay for. haha....
58. I like my hair to be curly and messy and even a little frizzy sometimes. Very anti-hairstylist. I'd never style any of my clients to have hair like mine haha. Everyone wants their hair to be straight and smooth. I think that's boring, on me anyway.
59. I like big jewelry. The dainty stuff was never for me.
60. I'd rather have jewelry that's big and fake, rather than small and 'real'. I'd be happy with cubic zurconia for my engagement ring, as long as it's my style. Or actually... I want a big ole' amethyst lol.
61. I don't like spiders, but I love snakes.
62. I saw the second Lord of the Rings movie before I saw the first.
63. I'd wear flip flops everyday if I could.
64. I'm not a sweets person. I really have to be in the mood for something sweet, but I don't usually crave sweet things. It's probably because I'm just so sweet already. Yeah, I said it.
65. My weakness is pasta with any kind of cream sauce. MMMMmmmmm...
66. I very rarely follow trends in clothing. I especially hate those shoes that are 'in' right now. The flat ones with the straps that go up around your ankle. I don't think they're flattering on anyone.
67. I value my alone time. I may have already said something like this, but there's no one in my house today and I'm totally loving it.
68. My maternal grandfather's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've never been that close with him. I don't get emotional about it until I see my mom get emotional about it, then my heart aches. I hate to see that woman hurting.
69. I'm not a fan of video games. I think people should spend more time outside, or with an actual hobby, like they used to way back when.
70. As of 9-8-09, I'm an auntie for the first time. My step brother and his wife just had a beautiful baby boy, Logan David.
71. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It sometimes takes a while for people to get used to. One of my exes said that for the first month we knew each other, she thought I was just a major bitch, rather than a total softy with a slick sense of humor.
72. I used to want to go to nursing school, but I don't think I could handle it. I can handle blood and all that, but the site of broken bones literally makes me weak and nauseous. I also don't think I could deal with seeing people die right in front of me.
73. I love the smell of haircolor (well some of it). I love how I can smell it all day after I get my hair colored. I know, it's weird.
74. I'd much rather be freezing than too hot. I absolutely hate sweating, it makes me feel disgusting. Unless I'm working out, that's different. You know what I mean.
75. But! only because there's an exception to every rule, I love going in saunas (as long as there's a cool pool or shower to jump into after). But after all is said and done, my skin always feels so clean after sitting in a sauna, cuz it purges all the impurities from your pores. Love it.
76. I hate it when my skin doesn't feel super smooth on my face. I scrub my skin with one of those shower gloves everyday to get the dead skin off. Even if I miss one day of doing this, my skin feels gross to me.
77. I was always the only person I knew that hated sweet tea, so I always just thought that I hated tea. For the first time, I tried unsweetened tea about a 6 months ago, and now it's my favorite drink. Turns out I just hated how sweet it was haha.
78. I hate ketchup by itself, but I love ketchup and mayo mixed together. This is the best dipping sauce for anything that you'd normally just dip in ketchup.
79. I'm a very touchy feely and affectionate person. I love touching and giving hugs to everyone and cuddling with those I'm close with. I even hug a lot of my clients.
80. I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" and realized that 'physical touch' and 'quality time' are the two biggest ways that I feel loved and give love to others.
81. I'm a taurus, and my sign is pretty much dead on accurate with who I am.
82. Whenever I start dating someone, I find out what their sign is, and go to Astrologyzone.com to see if we're compatible. So far, that site has also been dead on accurate. Three exes were geminis (who I'm supposed to not be compatible with) and that site pretty much told me all the reasons why we wouldn't work out as a couple. It was exactly those reasons why we didn't work. I haven't always believed in astrology, I mean it's silly if you think about it, but yeah, I'm listenin now.
83. I have a strong need to feel self sufficient, but also a need to feel taken care of when I'm in a relationship.
84. My year! I was born in 1984.
85. My favorite man in the whole world is Bailey, my old man cat. I've had him since I was 10. He still lives with my mom, goin on 17 years old now, but everytime I go home he still remembers me and won't leave me alone. He's white so I'm usually covered in white fur within minutes of being home.
86. I'm definitely a cat person. I like dogs too, but would prefer to always have cats around. I just love their attitudes and quirkiness, and they also smell 10 times better. I love the smell of cat breath.
87. The sound of a cat purring always calms me down, especially if i'm cuddling with the kitty and I can actually feel the purr. One of my simple joys in life.
88. I'm not into sports or athletics, but I love going to football and baseball games. I just love the atmosphere and being with that many people cheering something on. So much fun. But I'll never be able to actually follow a game haha.
89. When I started hair school, my hair was halfway down my back. When I got out of hairschool, it was up near my chin. If you want to keep your long hair, don't go to hair school. This scenario happened to EVERY SINGLE girl in there. Not one girl got out with long hair.
90. When it comes to politics, I'm very liberal when it comes to social issues. Extremely liberal with social issues. But I also truly believe that everyone should have to work for what they have or want.
91. I definitely believe in abortion, and think that it's the right thing to do in some cases. I had one when I was 18, and it was the best decision I ever made. It definitely was difficult to deal with, but I wouldn't change that decision.
92. I go back and forth with the idea of having kids. If I do, I know I'll be a strict parent, and now that I'm older, I understand why my mom was strict as well.
93. I love to knit, but all i know how to do are scarves lol. yep, just the one straight line.
94. I'm obsessed with sudoku.
95. I paint constantly, and if I could have a sure thing for making money off of my paintings, I would probably just do that. I get commissioned for doing paintings all the time (have 3 to do right now) but it's never consistent.
96. I really like to spread out when I sleep. If I sleep in the same bed with you, we must be pretty close. This isn't because I'm stingy about who I sleep next to, it's because there's a good chance you'll have one of my arms or legs on top of you by morning.
97. I like my room to be really cool when I sleep. That way I can cuddle up in my big comforter. I have a fan on year-round, I don't care how cool it is outside.
98. I also don't wear any clothes to bed. I must move around a lot when I sleep because if I'm wearing clothes, I wake up with them all twisted around me and tight. I hate that. So if I'm sleeping next to someone I can't be naked around, chances are I'll wake up a few times during the night to have to situate my clothing.
99. I hate the song 99 red balloons. Or at least one version of it that has this girl singing with a really high pitched voice. It's not the original, but it sometimes plays in the salon and I cringe every time and tell our receptionist to go to the next song. ick.
100!!!! Wow I made it. I actually finished this. It only took 4 separate sittings to do it. I'll have to make this last one a real humdinger. Ok here goes: I have really big boobs but really small nipples. hahaha. Apparently, they're pretty hot. My last ex actually even asked me if I'd show my boobs to her sister who is also gay, just because she was so impressed with them. Yay me.
1. My name is Kelly Marie.
2. My name was chosen by my mom's first husband, when she was 18. She divorced at 19 and married my father when she was 27. She stuck with my name all those years.
3. My parents divorced when I was 10, after 11 unhappy years of marriage. I always hear other people say they're sad their parents divorced, but I couldn't have been happier as a kid to see them split.
4. I have one little sister, Katie. I despised her when we were younger, she annoyed me to the core. At this point in life, she and I pretty much have nothing in common, and don't speak unless we are talking about how much our stepmother annoys the bejeezes out of us.
5. I'm a big family person, I get giddy when I know all of my cousins and aunts and uncles are getting together. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for this reason.
6. I'm a big homebody. I like the comfort of being in my own area.
7. I can also be very social, but usually only comfortable in groups where I know the majority of the people.
8. I get bad anxiety when I'm around a lot of people I don't know, especially in party settings. I clam up and get very shy. I have gotten a lot better with talking to people I don't know, but that feeling still comes out every now and then.
9. My favorite color is purple.
10. At one point I had a purple purse, purple wallet, and purple phone all at once.
11. I frequently wear black clothing. Not because I'm goth or anything, but because it makes me look thinner.
12. If I see an article of clothing that I like but I don't like the color, I'll buy it anyway and use RIT dye to change the color. I even dyed my down comforter which at this point has been dyed about 5 different colors It's now a dark eggplant purple. No, I don't want a new comforter, I'm seriously attached to this one and will keep it as long as there are still feathers in it.
13. I love to paint, and decorate. These go hand in hand a lot of the time, in the past I have painted some of my lamp shades, some lamp stands, a table, and various other things around my house.
14. I have big plans for when I actually have a house of my own. My mailbox will either be painted or covered in mosaic tiles, my front porch steps will be covered in mosaic tiles, and I've been planning out some murals and things I want to paint in the house. Every room will have a touch of me.
15. I've been doing hair for 7 years now, and I am so lucky to have found a profession that I am both good at, and also it has become a passion of mine. I absolutely LOVE what I do.
16. I worked in two different salons in my career (the second one being only just recently), and I also was self employed with it for a year. I went to my clients' homes to do their hair. The money was so much better, and I loved getting even that much closer to a lot of my clients (you'd be surprised how much they open up to you when you're in their kitchen). They also usually fed me and kept my shot glass/wine glass/ beer bottle full. It was a blast. I think I will eventually go back to working from home.
17. Before I started doing hair, I sold insurance. My entire family sells insurance, but at the age of 18, it definitely wasn't on my top list of choice careers. In fact, I came home crying my eyes out one day because of how much I hated it. That was the day I made the decision to go to hair school.
18. Since I have recently moved to Richmond (2 hours away from home) I decided to go back into the salon since I don't have a clientele here. I am building one quickly though, and I love working with all new people. Not that I don't miss my old clients (in fact I still travel back home once a month to keep up with a lot of them... the special ones haha) but I love meeting new people and hearing new stories.
19. Romantically, I'm completely hopeless. Ive had a whole mess of relationships and dating stories that are so bad, they're hilarious, and I long to just find someone to settle down with and come home to.
20. Since I was about 19, I've identified myself as being a lesbian. I have had mindful slip ups a couple of times, wondering if maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong place, but they are always thoughts that are very short lived. I know who I am, and I know I love women, inside and out.
21. When I was younger, I was more free with myself and my love life, but I've gotten much more conservative with myself and my sexual behavior through the years. I don't overly enjoy emotionless sex anymore, it's just not worth it to me these days. I'd much rather wait until there's something there, something worth celebrating.
22. And having said that! Let me say this. I love sex and everything about it. I think a good sexual appetite is healthy and a part of a normal healthy life, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I'm just more protective of my hoo-hoo these days. Or maybe it's that I'm more protective of my heart.
23. I've been living in the same town that I grew up in, all my life (up until December of last year), and I no longer talk to one person that I went to high school with. For the most part, I was never a fan of the kids I went to school with. I went to the 'rich' high school, with a lot of snobby and mean kids, and there were a lot of drugs. I never felt that I fit in, and grew up thinking I wasn't good enough because I didn't fit in with these kids. High school was the worst 4 years of my life.
24. To be completely honest, I sometimes still get that old feeling back of thinking I'm not 'cool' or good enough. It all stems from where I grew up. But I then remind myself that I've made completely new friends and lasting friendships based on who I am now. But there's still that feeling sometimes when I meet someone new, that shy feeling of wondering if they'll think I'm worth their time.
25. Despite that feeling, I'm confident in myself in a lot of things, and it apparently shows. A good friend of mine told me this a couple months ago, that she wishes she were as confident as I am. I was completely surprised when she said this. But the older I get, I know myself better, and I'm getting more confident in myself with that knowledge.
26. I'm very close with my mom, and if it weren't for her, I would have probably moved away from the hometown much sooner.
27. As I said, I moved to Richmond, VA in December of last year. I've been asked a lot from new clients why I moved away from the beach, and they are always surprised to hear that I hated it there, and should have moved away a long time ago. I've wanted to move away from there for such a long time, but I was always too scared to make the change. I'm so glad I did now.
28. I didn't used to be close with my dad, but over the past few years we've gotten worlds closer. I'm so happy for this. He's very supportive of me, my career, and my art, and he was the one to push me to move to Richmond. He said that he knows I'm just like him, with a gypsy soul, I just needed to follow my heart. I did, I am. <3
29. He raised us on his music, which makes me a music snob. Musically, I was definitely born a few decades too late. The Beatles were the all time favorite, and my sister and I are going to be getting tattoos for it. They're meant to be 'sister' tattoos. Hers will say "All You Need Is Love," and mine will say "Love Is All You Need." We're trying to talk my dad into paying for them, but it's going to take some more coaxing. He's not totally excited about tattoos haha.
30. I'm only to number 30, and I need a break. I'm gonna do some painting. One of my favorite movies is Across the Universe, and I just turned it on when the 'strawberry fields forever' scene was playing. He's flinging paint all over the room during this song, and it always makes me wanna paint. Will return and finish this later!
31. I totally and completely believe in karma.
32. I was raised Christian, but don't agree with it. To be honest, I never have. I hated going to church when I was young. In my teenage years, I went just for the purpose of making friends, and I even kissed my first boy in church. After high school, I joined the music team at our church, just so that I could sing on stage, not for the purpose of praising God. It was never about that for me. I don't go to church anymore, except on Christmas, just out of respect for my mother, and for the sake of tradition. But this past Christmas I didn't go. So I officially havent been to church in over a year, and it really doesn't bother me at all.
33. I don't agree with organized religion. For the most part, the people that I've come into contact with who claim to be devout Christians are the people who end up excusing themselves from punishment for less than respectable behavior.
34. I think that life is about being a good person, no matter what your faith. This is where karma comes into play.
35. I get emotional over silly things, and stay pretty calm during actual big things. For instance, I cry sometimes when people win things on The Price Is Right. I get so excited I guess, just to see other people that happy and excited. No, I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this up if I tried. On the other hand, when my grandma passed away, I was really calm and collected when my uncle told me the news. I was a mess at the funeral, but it took a few days for it to sink in, and for me to shed the tears.
36. Back to the religion issue, I see myself being much more spiritual than religious. To me, it's something very personal. I feel overwhelmed and thankful for my life here when I feel at one with nature, if that makes any sense. All I need is a sunny day on the beach listening to the sound of the waves, or to see a rainbow, or feel the breeze through my hair, and I'm all set. I can just look up at whatever's up there, if there is something up there, and feel nothing but beautiful and lucky and healthy.
37. I'll use this number... because it's sort of my lucky number. My lucky number is actually 137. Yes, i know it's odd, and the story behind it is kinda funny. It was my first school bus number when I was in first through third grade. My bus driver, Ms. Pat, had a full stereo system installed in the bus, and would blast music the whole way home everyday. We all had so much fun on that bus, and the number has just always stuck with me. Whenever I happen to look at the clock and it says 1:37, chances are I'm having a great day.
38. I have a habit of starting books and not finishing them. I've gotten so much better about this, and have made it a point to finish the books I'm reading (with some exceptions of course. but what are ya gonna do...)Right now I have two books 'started'.
39. I absolutely hate doing laundry. I can do any kind of chore around the house with a smile on my face, but just not laundry.
40. I can't walk in high heels. I look ridiculous, and usually end up tripping on something. I have actually tripped in my old salon while wearing heels, and of course it was while I was walking up to introduce myself to a new client... and about 3 feet away from shaking their hand, I hit the ground. hahaha... oooooh memories.
41. I'm totally unorganized with money. As a hairstylist, I get cash tips handed to me often, and usually just stuff them in my pocket. While I was just doing the dreaded laundry, I found $40 in the dryer.
42. I absolutely hate any kind of clicking, beeping, or any other kind of annoying noises. Repetitive noises are like nails on a chalkboard to me. It became an ongoing joke in my old salon, and my coworkers would click pens or tap the front desk in an effort to get a rise out of me. I literally flip out and I can't even help it. haha.
43. It has come to my recent attention that when something annoys me, the noises or otherwise, I immediately say 'STOP IT!' in a tone that is about an octive higher than my normal voice. I was never actually aware that I did this on a regular basis, until we were playing a drinking game at the neighbor's house. We were playing drunken jenga (my friend and I wrote funny drinking game things on each piece of the jenga game, and you have to pull one piece out, complete the task, and then stack it on top, like regular jenga) and one of the pegs she pulled said 'impersonate the person to your left'. I was to her left, and she immediately started screaming 'STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!' really loud and high pitched. I looked at her like... huh? and of course everyone started laughing, because it was completely accurate.
44. I love tomatoes, but hate red sauce.
45. I love cooking, but hate going to the grocery store.
46. Actually I hate any type of shopping, but this comes much more into play when I'm with other people for clothes shopping. If I'm there with them while they are shopping and I'm not, it's fine. But if I'm there with other people and I'm shopping too, I hate it because I feel rushed. I don't know. I just prefer it by myself.
47. I especially hate going to the mall. I hate the crowds, and all the fluorescent lighting, I get an instant headache anytime I go in there.
48. I can be a procrastinator. Probably why this post is taking me so long to complete, even though I know I want to.
49. I have a guitar, but don't know how to play it, and really want to. Someone needs to get me guitar lessons or something. I'd do it if someone else paid for it haha.
50. I did ballet for eight years when I was younger. My biggest regret in life is quitting. I was always the youngest girl in all my classes, was very advanced for my age. But when my parents got divorced, we moved to the other side of the city so my mom couldn't drive me to my ballet academy as often as I had been going, so I had to try to find another academy near me. Even at 12 years old, I was too advanced for any school that my mom gave me the option of going to, so I quit. I wish I had just stuck with it until I was old enough to drive myself to the good school. My teachers at the good school had danced in ballet's all over Europe, and were from Italy. Nothing like anything you'd find here.
51. I also used to play the piano when I was younger. But I quit that because my piano teacher was a creepy old lady that lived in our neighborhood. I hated going to her house for lessons. I would like to start playing again though.
52. When I was in middle school, the movie "Titanic" had just come out and was really big. I was in the chorus and of course, we sang the Titanic song. I played the piano for the song while the chorus sang it. I know how to read music, but when I'm playing a song, I play it from memory. I'll only check in with the actual music on front of me if I'm still learning the song, but I never follow it note for note. We performed this 3 times during school hours for the different grades, and then the big performance was at night.
53. During the big performance at night, the auditorium was completely filled with all of our parents and friends that decided to come. My hands were a little shaky, and in the middle of the song, I forgot where I was in the song. I completely froze, and the whole chorus turned around to stare at me along with the whole auditorium of people. I had to flip through pages of music to figure out where I was while the whole room was silent and staring at me. Finally found my place about 30 seconds later (it felt like an hour) and finished the song out. We got a standing ovation hahaha.
54. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's the big holiday in my family for us all to get together. Everyone in my family can cook, and we all pitch in. It's always the absolute best meal of the year. Oh and we are never without bottles and bottles of wine.
55. I was a vegetarian for a year. I quit when Thanksgiving came around. Maybe I'm weak, or maybe our turkeys are always just that good.
56. I want to become a vegetarian again. I've cut out red meat again recently, and am thinking about cutting out poultry soon.
57. If I wasn't a hairstylist, I'd probably never do my hair. I mean I still love getting it colored (I usually at least retouch it myself like once a month) but it's funny that I actually think that I wouldn't pay for it to get done. And yeah... I charge other people for something I wouldn't pay for. haha....
58. I like my hair to be curly and messy and even a little frizzy sometimes. Very anti-hairstylist. I'd never style any of my clients to have hair like mine haha. Everyone wants their hair to be straight and smooth. I think that's boring, on me anyway.
59. I like big jewelry. The dainty stuff was never for me.
60. I'd rather have jewelry that's big and fake, rather than small and 'real'. I'd be happy with cubic zurconia for my engagement ring, as long as it's my style. Or actually... I want a big ole' amethyst lol.
61. I don't like spiders, but I love snakes.
62. I saw the second Lord of the Rings movie before I saw the first.
63. I'd wear flip flops everyday if I could.
64. I'm not a sweets person. I really have to be in the mood for something sweet, but I don't usually crave sweet things. It's probably because I'm just so sweet already. Yeah, I said it.
65. My weakness is pasta with any kind of cream sauce. MMMMmmmmm...
66. I very rarely follow trends in clothing. I especially hate those shoes that are 'in' right now. The flat ones with the straps that go up around your ankle. I don't think they're flattering on anyone.
67. I value my alone time. I may have already said something like this, but there's no one in my house today and I'm totally loving it.
68. My maternal grandfather's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've never been that close with him. I don't get emotional about it until I see my mom get emotional about it, then my heart aches. I hate to see that woman hurting.
69. I'm not a fan of video games. I think people should spend more time outside, or with an actual hobby, like they used to way back when.
70. As of 9-8-09, I'm an auntie for the first time. My step brother and his wife just had a beautiful baby boy, Logan David.
71. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It sometimes takes a while for people to get used to. One of my exes said that for the first month we knew each other, she thought I was just a major bitch, rather than a total softy with a slick sense of humor.
72. I used to want to go to nursing school, but I don't think I could handle it. I can handle blood and all that, but the site of broken bones literally makes me weak and nauseous. I also don't think I could deal with seeing people die right in front of me.
73. I love the smell of haircolor (well some of it). I love how I can smell it all day after I get my hair colored. I know, it's weird.
74. I'd much rather be freezing than too hot. I absolutely hate sweating, it makes me feel disgusting. Unless I'm working out, that's different. You know what I mean.
75. But! only because there's an exception to every rule, I love going in saunas (as long as there's a cool pool or shower to jump into after). But after all is said and done, my skin always feels so clean after sitting in a sauna, cuz it purges all the impurities from your pores. Love it.
76. I hate it when my skin doesn't feel super smooth on my face. I scrub my skin with one of those shower gloves everyday to get the dead skin off. Even if I miss one day of doing this, my skin feels gross to me.
77. I was always the only person I knew that hated sweet tea, so I always just thought that I hated tea. For the first time, I tried unsweetened tea about a 6 months ago, and now it's my favorite drink. Turns out I just hated how sweet it was haha.
78. I hate ketchup by itself, but I love ketchup and mayo mixed together. This is the best dipping sauce for anything that you'd normally just dip in ketchup.
79. I'm a very touchy feely and affectionate person. I love touching and giving hugs to everyone and cuddling with those I'm close with. I even hug a lot of my clients.
80. I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" and realized that 'physical touch' and 'quality time' are the two biggest ways that I feel loved and give love to others.
81. I'm a taurus, and my sign is pretty much dead on accurate with who I am.
82. Whenever I start dating someone, I find out what their sign is, and go to Astrologyzone.com to see if we're compatible. So far, that site has also been dead on accurate. Three exes were geminis (who I'm supposed to not be compatible with) and that site pretty much told me all the reasons why we wouldn't work out as a couple. It was exactly those reasons why we didn't work. I haven't always believed in astrology, I mean it's silly if you think about it, but yeah, I'm listenin now.
83. I have a strong need to feel self sufficient, but also a need to feel taken care of when I'm in a relationship.
84. My year! I was born in 1984.
85. My favorite man in the whole world is Bailey, my old man cat. I've had him since I was 10. He still lives with my mom, goin on 17 years old now, but everytime I go home he still remembers me and won't leave me alone. He's white so I'm usually covered in white fur within minutes of being home.
86. I'm definitely a cat person. I like dogs too, but would prefer to always have cats around. I just love their attitudes and quirkiness, and they also smell 10 times better. I love the smell of cat breath.
87. The sound of a cat purring always calms me down, especially if i'm cuddling with the kitty and I can actually feel the purr. One of my simple joys in life.
88. I'm not into sports or athletics, but I love going to football and baseball games. I just love the atmosphere and being with that many people cheering something on. So much fun. But I'll never be able to actually follow a game haha.
89. When I started hair school, my hair was halfway down my back. When I got out of hairschool, it was up near my chin. If you want to keep your long hair, don't go to hair school. This scenario happened to EVERY SINGLE girl in there. Not one girl got out with long hair.
90. When it comes to politics, I'm very liberal when it comes to social issues. Extremely liberal with social issues. But I also truly believe that everyone should have to work for what they have or want.
91. I definitely believe in abortion, and think that it's the right thing to do in some cases. I had one when I was 18, and it was the best decision I ever made. It definitely was difficult to deal with, but I wouldn't change that decision.
92. I go back and forth with the idea of having kids. If I do, I know I'll be a strict parent, and now that I'm older, I understand why my mom was strict as well.
93. I love to knit, but all i know how to do are scarves lol. yep, just the one straight line.
94. I'm obsessed with sudoku.
95. I paint constantly, and if I could have a sure thing for making money off of my paintings, I would probably just do that. I get commissioned for doing paintings all the time (have 3 to do right now) but it's never consistent.
96. I really like to spread out when I sleep. If I sleep in the same bed with you, we must be pretty close. This isn't because I'm stingy about who I sleep next to, it's because there's a good chance you'll have one of my arms or legs on top of you by morning.
97. I like my room to be really cool when I sleep. That way I can cuddle up in my big comforter. I have a fan on year-round, I don't care how cool it is outside.
98. I also don't wear any clothes to bed. I must move around a lot when I sleep because if I'm wearing clothes, I wake up with them all twisted around me and tight. I hate that. So if I'm sleeping next to someone I can't be naked around, chances are I'll wake up a few times during the night to have to situate my clothing.
99. I hate the song 99 red balloons. Or at least one version of it that has this girl singing with a really high pitched voice. It's not the original, but it sometimes plays in the salon and I cringe every time and tell our receptionist to go to the next song. ick.
100!!!! Wow I made it. I actually finished this. It only took 4 separate sittings to do it. I'll have to make this last one a real humdinger. Ok here goes: I have really big boobs but really small nipples. hahaha. Apparently, they're pretty hot. My last ex actually even asked me if I'd show my boobs to her sister who is also gay, just because she was so impressed with them. Yay me.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Life is good.
Forizzle. So the girls at the salon are really growing on me. I was smiling on my way home from work today and then started giggling at myself, giggling because I was smiling. I was smiling because I was thinking about some things that had happened during the day with some of my coworkers.. and how much I really enjoy their company now. It took me a little while to get here, it always takes a while to really feel like you fit in to a new group, ya know? But anyway, I just have so much fun at work. I've had an insane amount of new clients in my chair... last week was so busy! I'm already more busy than I was in my old salon, and I've only been here for a little over a month. I called my dad after getting out of work last Friday, on my way to First Fridays (talk about that later) and I was almost in tears because I was so happy, and it was just so great to say that I know that this was the best decision I've ever made, moving to Richmond. He was even telling me to slow down cuz I was so excited and probably yelling into the phone hehe. Last saturday, I was so busy with clients that I had to come in an hour early, left an hour late, and didn't even have time to eat during the day. I was exhausted, but I LOVED IT!
I went to my first First Fridays last weekend. Every first Friday of the month, they do an art walk through downtown Richmond. All of the art galleries open up at night and showcase local artists, play live music, and serve snackies. We got there a little late, cuz I had to work late, and we were waiting on other friends to get outta work too, but I did get to see a few different galleries before they started closing up. It was so great! So many different types of art, and some really impressive stuff. Gave me a few ideas, and just made me happy all around. I love this kinda stuff! And they never have stuff like this in the hometown. We all went out dancing later that night, played some pool and had lots of drinks hehe. I didn't get in bed that night until 3am, and yes, that was the night before my super busy and early day at the salon. I kept telling myself "you're 26, you are still young, you can do this" but wow. I slept for 13 hours the following night, I can't remember the last time I was in bed that early lol. But it was so worth it, it's great to just have fun again.
Oh and some really great news! Our salon has been selected to do hair and make up for Richmond's Fashion Week in April. We'll be completely in charge of one of the events, which happens to be at the theater that's right next door to our salon. It's going to be a blast, and going to be really awesome exposure for us! I've done big events like this before, but mostly for bridal shows, so we'll get to be a lot more artistic with this. I'm so excited!
Oh and I work with a gay guy who does drag, and he's planning on being in a drag pageant in a few weeks, and I'm helping him create his costume for when he performs 'memories' from Cats. OMG his vision is amazing... you wouldn't believe what these ladies do to make their elaborate costumes!
I went to my first First Fridays last weekend. Every first Friday of the month, they do an art walk through downtown Richmond. All of the art galleries open up at night and showcase local artists, play live music, and serve snackies. We got there a little late, cuz I had to work late, and we were waiting on other friends to get outta work too, but I did get to see a few different galleries before they started closing up. It was so great! So many different types of art, and some really impressive stuff. Gave me a few ideas, and just made me happy all around. I love this kinda stuff! And they never have stuff like this in the hometown. We all went out dancing later that night, played some pool and had lots of drinks hehe. I didn't get in bed that night until 3am, and yes, that was the night before my super busy and early day at the salon. I kept telling myself "you're 26, you are still young, you can do this" but wow. I slept for 13 hours the following night, I can't remember the last time I was in bed that early lol. But it was so worth it, it's great to just have fun again.
Oh and some really great news! Our salon has been selected to do hair and make up for Richmond's Fashion Week in April. We'll be completely in charge of one of the events, which happens to be at the theater that's right next door to our salon. It's going to be a blast, and going to be really awesome exposure for us! I've done big events like this before, but mostly for bridal shows, so we'll get to be a lot more artistic with this. I'm so excited!
Oh and I work with a gay guy who does drag, and he's planning on being in a drag pageant in a few weeks, and I'm helping him create his costume for when he performs 'memories' from Cats. OMG his vision is amazing... you wouldn't believe what these ladies do to make their elaborate costumes!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Richmond is fabulous :)
So it's been a while since I've updated... but I've been having a blast in my new home-Richmond! Squirt and I went to see the Hackensaw Boys last weekend, I got pretty wasted and danced all night to banjos and violins and deep southern salt of the earth music :)
I went on another bad date... it was actually pretty funny. She and i had emailed a few times before figuring out that she actually was the last person to occupy my bedroom... she moved out of my house a few months before i moved in. So my roommates were telling me all these things about her, and telling me why she moved out (it wasn't a graceful exit) but being the stubborn girl that I am, I had to meet her anyway, but I was pissed when I met her and realized that my roommates failed to tell me that she looked like she belonged in a biker bar. For a 26 year old... she looked.. ROUGH. lol. Her pics were cute, but wow. Poor thing. I had to let her down easy, as she asked what time should we meet up the following day.
I'm talking to a new girl now, still too soon to tell if something will come of it, but she's sweet as pie, and has gorgeous eyeballs.
The salon where I'm working is finally starting to feel like home. It took a while to feel like I was fitting in, but the girls there are really growing on me, and I'm able to open up more now and really be myself with them. I've come out to the majority of the girls (I had to because one of them was trying to set me up with one of her guy friends lol), came out first to the one gay guy who is adorable, but lazy and whiney (typical gay guy? lol). I'm also getting at least one client a day, which is really amazing for being in a new salon, much less in a new area. This one woman whose hair I did today, she gave me two hugs and told me I saved her hehe. The best part of that, was that she did all of that in front of my boss lol. I sometimes feel like my boss is watching me... like in a bad way.. I don't know. I think that's the one bad part of being back in a salon, working for someone else. I'm used to having my freedom!!! But I guess it's not so bad, I just hate feeling like my every move is being watched. But at least she can see that all of my clients have been happy. I made up flyers to give to all of my clients, to give to their friends to promote me, and all of them have been happy to take them. Everyone here has been so supportive! There is this one really weird guy who works there as a massage therapist (which is amazing to me because there is no way I would ever take my clothes off in the same room as him) who reminds us all of a serial killer. Like... for real. He is so creepy. and I'll be writing more about hiim later... I already have too many stories about his creepiness.
One of my roommates has been getting on my nerves just a little bit, but it's nothing that I can't handle. I brought it to her attention, some of the things she had done to IRK me... and she wasnt exactly understanding about it, actually she made the whole thing worse, and wanted to turn our discussion into an entire day arguement through texting... which is one of the reasons that she gets on my nerves lol. But we got over it and we're cool, and I gave her a card for her birthday saying that her present would be a movie night with me on me, cuz she always wants to go to the movies but her partner hates going. She loved it, and i think it made her feel better that I wanted to spend some time with her, just the two of us. I was closest with her when I first moved in, but have gotten closer with her partner in the meantime. Lo (the one I'm closer to now) and I just have much more in common... our personalities are similar, and our schedules have made it so that we spend a lot of time together without Lil (the other one) being around. But anyway, overall I love living here, and 95% of the time, we all get along so well. We've been having an marathon of "The L Word", starting at the beginning. I still have never seen the last season, so we're gonna watch it all the way through. We just started season 3, we watch one or two episodes, 4 or 5 nights a week haha. It's cute, it's always Lo and me watching it, and when their schedules allow, Lil and the other roommate Crys watch with us.
I got a kitten, she's 8 months old and the cutest thing ever, omg. I named her Maizey, and she's become my little baby. She's super affectionate and playful and adorable. She sleeps on me, if not next to me, and she attacks my feet when I move them lol. She follows me around my room, and is still finding her courage to venture out into the house (the roommates have 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 birds and 2 lizards, so it's a lot for her to face!) but she goes out every now and then. But she's so cute... when I come home from work, she'll usually be up on my bed, and she meows at me like crazy and then rolls over on her back so that I can rub her belly. She's so pretty too, long hair, mostly grey with a little bit of lighter grey and a few small patches of tan. She sheds like crazy though lol.... I feel like I have to wash my clothes twice to even be able to wear them once, and I'm having to clean the fur off my bed daily. It's ok though... she's so precious :)
Ok... enough of an update? Oh and I had the flu a couple weeks ago... I got so sick that I havent felt that sick since I had mono in high school. My fever got up to 103. I still can't get rid of the cough and a little congestion in my chest, and it's almost 2 weeks later... so that's annoying. But I feel great otherwise.
Anyway... I love my new life, and I'm so glad I moved to Richmond. :)
I went on another bad date... it was actually pretty funny. She and i had emailed a few times before figuring out that she actually was the last person to occupy my bedroom... she moved out of my house a few months before i moved in. So my roommates were telling me all these things about her, and telling me why she moved out (it wasn't a graceful exit) but being the stubborn girl that I am, I had to meet her anyway, but I was pissed when I met her and realized that my roommates failed to tell me that she looked like she belonged in a biker bar. For a 26 year old... she looked.. ROUGH. lol. Her pics were cute, but wow. Poor thing. I had to let her down easy, as she asked what time should we meet up the following day.
I'm talking to a new girl now, still too soon to tell if something will come of it, but she's sweet as pie, and has gorgeous eyeballs.
The salon where I'm working is finally starting to feel like home. It took a while to feel like I was fitting in, but the girls there are really growing on me, and I'm able to open up more now and really be myself with them. I've come out to the majority of the girls (I had to because one of them was trying to set me up with one of her guy friends lol), came out first to the one gay guy who is adorable, but lazy and whiney (typical gay guy? lol). I'm also getting at least one client a day, which is really amazing for being in a new salon, much less in a new area. This one woman whose hair I did today, she gave me two hugs and told me I saved her hehe. The best part of that, was that she did all of that in front of my boss lol. I sometimes feel like my boss is watching me... like in a bad way.. I don't know. I think that's the one bad part of being back in a salon, working for someone else. I'm used to having my freedom!!! But I guess it's not so bad, I just hate feeling like my every move is being watched. But at least she can see that all of my clients have been happy. I made up flyers to give to all of my clients, to give to their friends to promote me, and all of them have been happy to take them. Everyone here has been so supportive! There is this one really weird guy who works there as a massage therapist (which is amazing to me because there is no way I would ever take my clothes off in the same room as him) who reminds us all of a serial killer. Like... for real. He is so creepy. and I'll be writing more about hiim later... I already have too many stories about his creepiness.
One of my roommates has been getting on my nerves just a little bit, but it's nothing that I can't handle. I brought it to her attention, some of the things she had done to IRK me... and she wasnt exactly understanding about it, actually she made the whole thing worse, and wanted to turn our discussion into an entire day arguement through texting... which is one of the reasons that she gets on my nerves lol. But we got over it and we're cool, and I gave her a card for her birthday saying that her present would be a movie night with me on me, cuz she always wants to go to the movies but her partner hates going. She loved it, and i think it made her feel better that I wanted to spend some time with her, just the two of us. I was closest with her when I first moved in, but have gotten closer with her partner in the meantime. Lo (the one I'm closer to now) and I just have much more in common... our personalities are similar, and our schedules have made it so that we spend a lot of time together without Lil (the other one) being around. But anyway, overall I love living here, and 95% of the time, we all get along so well. We've been having an marathon of "The L Word", starting at the beginning. I still have never seen the last season, so we're gonna watch it all the way through. We just started season 3, we watch one or two episodes, 4 or 5 nights a week haha. It's cute, it's always Lo and me watching it, and when their schedules allow, Lil and the other roommate Crys watch with us.
I got a kitten, she's 8 months old and the cutest thing ever, omg. I named her Maizey, and she's become my little baby. She's super affectionate and playful and adorable. She sleeps on me, if not next to me, and she attacks my feet when I move them lol. She follows me around my room, and is still finding her courage to venture out into the house (the roommates have 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 birds and 2 lizards, so it's a lot for her to face!) but she goes out every now and then. But she's so cute... when I come home from work, she'll usually be up on my bed, and she meows at me like crazy and then rolls over on her back so that I can rub her belly. She's so pretty too, long hair, mostly grey with a little bit of lighter grey and a few small patches of tan. She sheds like crazy though lol.... I feel like I have to wash my clothes twice to even be able to wear them once, and I'm having to clean the fur off my bed daily. It's ok though... she's so precious :)
Ok... enough of an update? Oh and I had the flu a couple weeks ago... I got so sick that I havent felt that sick since I had mono in high school. My fever got up to 103. I still can't get rid of the cough and a little congestion in my chest, and it's almost 2 weeks later... so that's annoying. But I feel great otherwise.
Anyway... I love my new life, and I'm so glad I moved to Richmond. :)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Select your advice.
One of my favorite cousins, Nick, gave me some advice a few months ago, and I remember just feeling sorry for him for even saying it out loud. It was before I met S, which is weird because it feels like it was just yesterday that he and I had this conversation, but it also feels like I've known S for a really long time. In actuality, we've only known each other for about 4 months, maybe a little less, but it's funny how time plays tricks on you. It seems like such a long time. It's rather amazing to me that in less than 4 months, I've fallen in love with someone, have made so many memories with them... enough to make my head spin when looking back on things, and have managed to even come to a crossroads with this same person, all in less than 4 months. It's just weird, and really unbelievable. But back to my original topic...
My cousin, Nick. He's a few years older than me, and he lives up in Maryland, about 4 hours away from me. So we don't see each other that often, and we pretty much never talk (he's still one of those 'losers' that refuses to get a facebook, even though it would make keeping in touch soooooo much easier) unless he's coming down to visit the family. But the last time that I saw him, he was at my dad's house, and we had a family bbq. He's been dating this one girl for a few years, and he's never been that excited about her. The first time I met her was at my uncle's 60th birthday (Nick's father) maybe 2 years ago. It was actually painful to witness them, she was there because she was invited by my aunt (Nick's mother) and Nick was acting annoyed about it. Nick is the life of the party kinda guy, he's a bartender, and he's lots of fun and full of life, but he was being a complete douchbag to this girl, and I was so disappointed over the whole ordeal. She actually gave my sister and me a ride to the condo we were staying in that night after the party, and she was saying that she thought that was the last time she'd be seeing Nick. Well, now, they are living together, and it sounds like neither one of them are ecstatic over it. During this past time that I saw him over this last summer, we were grilling each other about our love lives. He asked me how mine was going, and I was single at the time so I was telling him about that, and some of the crazy dates I've had and such. He jokingly asked if I was still into the poon, and I laughed and nodded. He's quite the comedian... let me tell you. I don't embarrass easily, but he knows how to embarrass anyone. Anyway, I started asking him about K, his girl, and how they were doing. He started immediately talking about how they are living in his dad's condo, thank goodness... because without her and his dad's condo, he'd have to move back home........... needless to say he was basically not saying anything about being with this girl based on love or commitment. I kinda interrupted him, because he was side-stepping my question, and I looked him in his eyes and asked... 'Nick... are you happy?'
As he gets a stupid grin on his face, he blurted out, 'can't you tell?'
He then proceeded to tell me that if I ever have a good relationship, and I end up ending things over something stupid, then it's not worth it to lose out on something that might have been. I assume that he must be looking back on some past relationship of his, missing some girl that he let get away over something that might not have really mattered in the end. Now I can look at this in a few different ways. His advice makes me look at one situation from so many different angles. I remember feeling sorry for him as he said that. He's in this relationship that he's not happy in, but he feels the need to just stay in it, because maybe it's not as bad as it coulda been with someone else who was even more wrong for him. Maybe he thinks that she loves him enough for the both of them. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone. Or worst of all, maybe he's staying with her because of his financial issues (he's always been the type who is between jobs.) I would never want to be in his position, feeling stuck, for whatever reason, in a relationship that doesn't make me happy, that lacks passion and love.
But then I look at his advice from a completely different angle, and think about how our generation is becoming too picky. Divorce is such an option that is considered ok now, that there is really no sense of commitment. There is no sense of real commitment anymore. Marriage doesn't mean what it used to... and that makes me sad. Now, if we get upset about one thing or another, breaking up is a real option. Instead of staying in something because you've made the commitment to, and because you really love that person and wanna work past things, you let your pride get in the way and think to yourself 'I don't need them, I am just fine on my own, I can do better, and the grass will be greener.'
As I'm talking about this... I've kinda lost my own train of thought... but I think it comes down to wanting to find real love with someone (which I have, I think, I mean I know I love her...) and then creating a life and sticking to it. I am tired of everything changing just as soon as I think I'm in something special. I think it's just who I am, I'm a commitment type of person. Yes, we both have our reasons of doubt in the relationship, but are any of those real reasons to end it? are any of those reasons that we actually wouldn't work out in the end? Are they really reason to not want to work through things? In my opinion they're not. If you think about the long term, all of this doesn't seem like a big deal, but who knows. I can't make her think like me, and I can't make her feel something. And if we don't think alike, then maybe we aren't meant to be. But only time will tell. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everything will work out as it should, but I just don't want 'too much thinking' to get in the way of something that could be great, ya know? Meh.
My cousin, Nick. He's a few years older than me, and he lives up in Maryland, about 4 hours away from me. So we don't see each other that often, and we pretty much never talk (he's still one of those 'losers' that refuses to get a facebook, even though it would make keeping in touch soooooo much easier) unless he's coming down to visit the family. But the last time that I saw him, he was at my dad's house, and we had a family bbq. He's been dating this one girl for a few years, and he's never been that excited about her. The first time I met her was at my uncle's 60th birthday (Nick's father) maybe 2 years ago. It was actually painful to witness them, she was there because she was invited by my aunt (Nick's mother) and Nick was acting annoyed about it. Nick is the life of the party kinda guy, he's a bartender, and he's lots of fun and full of life, but he was being a complete douchbag to this girl, and I was so disappointed over the whole ordeal. She actually gave my sister and me a ride to the condo we were staying in that night after the party, and she was saying that she thought that was the last time she'd be seeing Nick. Well, now, they are living together, and it sounds like neither one of them are ecstatic over it. During this past time that I saw him over this last summer, we were grilling each other about our love lives. He asked me how mine was going, and I was single at the time so I was telling him about that, and some of the crazy dates I've had and such. He jokingly asked if I was still into the poon, and I laughed and nodded. He's quite the comedian... let me tell you. I don't embarrass easily, but he knows how to embarrass anyone. Anyway, I started asking him about K, his girl, and how they were doing. He started immediately talking about how they are living in his dad's condo, thank goodness... because without her and his dad's condo, he'd have to move back home........... needless to say he was basically not saying anything about being with this girl based on love or commitment. I kinda interrupted him, because he was side-stepping my question, and I looked him in his eyes and asked... 'Nick... are you happy?'
As he gets a stupid grin on his face, he blurted out, 'can't you tell?'
He then proceeded to tell me that if I ever have a good relationship, and I end up ending things over something stupid, then it's not worth it to lose out on something that might have been. I assume that he must be looking back on some past relationship of his, missing some girl that he let get away over something that might not have really mattered in the end. Now I can look at this in a few different ways. His advice makes me look at one situation from so many different angles. I remember feeling sorry for him as he said that. He's in this relationship that he's not happy in, but he feels the need to just stay in it, because maybe it's not as bad as it coulda been with someone else who was even more wrong for him. Maybe he thinks that she loves him enough for the both of them. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone. Or worst of all, maybe he's staying with her because of his financial issues (he's always been the type who is between jobs.) I would never want to be in his position, feeling stuck, for whatever reason, in a relationship that doesn't make me happy, that lacks passion and love.
But then I look at his advice from a completely different angle, and think about how our generation is becoming too picky. Divorce is such an option that is considered ok now, that there is really no sense of commitment. There is no sense of real commitment anymore. Marriage doesn't mean what it used to... and that makes me sad. Now, if we get upset about one thing or another, breaking up is a real option. Instead of staying in something because you've made the commitment to, and because you really love that person and wanna work past things, you let your pride get in the way and think to yourself 'I don't need them, I am just fine on my own, I can do better, and the grass will be greener.'
As I'm talking about this... I've kinda lost my own train of thought... but I think it comes down to wanting to find real love with someone (which I have, I think, I mean I know I love her...) and then creating a life and sticking to it. I am tired of everything changing just as soon as I think I'm in something special. I think it's just who I am, I'm a commitment type of person. Yes, we both have our reasons of doubt in the relationship, but are any of those real reasons to end it? are any of those reasons that we actually wouldn't work out in the end? Are they really reason to not want to work through things? In my opinion they're not. If you think about the long term, all of this doesn't seem like a big deal, but who knows. I can't make her think like me, and I can't make her feel something. And if we don't think alike, then maybe we aren't meant to be. But only time will tell. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everything will work out as it should, but I just don't want 'too much thinking' to get in the way of something that could be great, ya know? Meh.
Nights are the hardest... always.
I don't like not having someone to say goodnight to. I don't like it.
But anyway, we're going to remain friends, which I'm happy about. I don't want to let her go. I think things just kinda blew up in our faces out of nowhere, and it was all so unexpected so it made me that much more dramatic. Things were so calm and peaceful with us, and then boom... explosion. Right in your face. So out of the blue... so not what I expected to happen 2 days after moving here. But I'm gonna be ok.
She told me tonight that she honestly doesn't think that she should even be with anyone right now, and that she thinks she has some things to work out on her own. That made me feel better. I don't want to be left for someone else. I don't want to feel like I'm the lesser of two. And if anything, I'm glad that she told me that just because it tells me that she's really being honest with herself, and with me.
Who knows what will happen in the future... maybe we'll come back together, or maybe we'll just stay friends... but I'm glad I met her. She can't hardly ever get her words out, but she's a genuine person.
meh... I miss... ......
But anyway, we're going to remain friends, which I'm happy about. I don't want to let her go. I think things just kinda blew up in our faces out of nowhere, and it was all so unexpected so it made me that much more dramatic. Things were so calm and peaceful with us, and then boom... explosion. Right in your face. So out of the blue... so not what I expected to happen 2 days after moving here. But I'm gonna be ok.
She told me tonight that she honestly doesn't think that she should even be with anyone right now, and that she thinks she has some things to work out on her own. That made me feel better. I don't want to be left for someone else. I don't want to feel like I'm the lesser of two. And if anything, I'm glad that she told me that just because it tells me that she's really being honest with herself, and with me.
Who knows what will happen in the future... maybe we'll come back together, or maybe we'll just stay friends... but I'm glad I met her. She can't hardly ever get her words out, but she's a genuine person.
meh... I miss... ......
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Okay that's it.
I'm not going to sit here and feel sorry for myself. I just moved to Richmond! This is my life! Damnit!
SquirtyB is playing the tough love card and tellin me that I need to stop. I do have friends here and I could have none, you're right.
And I texted Joy that I've been here for 4 days and that my gf and I are already probably done. And she said 'well fuck it babe, you got a whole new city to play in!' haha. PERFECT response. Totally made me laugh.. and it's true. I just did this big thing that I've been wanting to do for years, to move away from home. And I should be embracing it, instead of being upset because my start here is a little different than I thought it would be. Joy reminded me that I didn't move here for her, and said that I'm an easy friend maker and talented, and the city is 'mine!' lol. And I talked to my mom this morning, who I hadn't talked to since I moved here. She said really similar things basically, and it helps to hear that same thing from a few different people. It kinda reinforces it in my head. I'm gonna be ok. This isn't what I expected, but I am here now, and I moved here for my fresh start. This life is only what I make it, so I need to MAKE IT!
SquirtyB is playing the tough love card and tellin me that I need to stop. I do have friends here and I could have none, you're right.
And I texted Joy that I've been here for 4 days and that my gf and I are already probably done. And she said 'well fuck it babe, you got a whole new city to play in!' haha. PERFECT response. Totally made me laugh.. and it's true. I just did this big thing that I've been wanting to do for years, to move away from home. And I should be embracing it, instead of being upset because my start here is a little different than I thought it would be. Joy reminded me that I didn't move here for her, and said that I'm an easy friend maker and talented, and the city is 'mine!' lol. And I talked to my mom this morning, who I hadn't talked to since I moved here. She said really similar things basically, and it helps to hear that same thing from a few different people. It kinda reinforces it in my head. I'm gonna be ok. This isn't what I expected, but I am here now, and I moved here for my fresh start. This life is only what I make it, so I need to MAKE IT!
Don't believe what you hear.
Ok so I'm all moved up to Richmond. Made the move last weekend, and since then I feel like my world has turned upside down. And I feel like it's getting too heavy for me to be able to carry and deal with. I'm literally sitting here actually so lost and hurt that I can't even figure out which way is up. I feel like it's hard to breathe.
A couple days ago S's ex emailed her... which in return made S tell me that she's not over her ex. At first I thought that it was because it was an unexpected email since they hadn't talked in 2 1/2 years, so it must have thrown her for a loop. But last night, I found out that she has always known that she hasn't been over her, and there apparently have been times that she's wanted to tell me that, and now she can't hide it anymore. I've been in Richmond for 3 days.
Now I'm a very understanding person, and I also know that I would want someone to genuinely want to be with me, so we said that i'd give her time to figure out what she wants to do and where her head is. But that was before I knew that it was something that was already on her mind.
My head is spinning right now... it's difficult just to formulate a thought.
Anyway, I went over to her house last night so we could talk some more. I actually thought that I had a fighting chance, because I was comparing her story to the story of my ex Joy... and how she and I broke up and got back together quite a few times. It wouldn't matter if I was with someone or not, as soon as she came back around, I was hooked, but it was always so pointless and it wasted so much time. So I was explaining that to S, telling her that she and her ex had already tried things twice and that there were reasons that it didn't work out. And that it's understandable that because her ex had suddenly made this surprise entrance back into her world, that it didn't have to mean that everything was going to fall apart.
Seriously... I can't even get through writing one paragraph without my head just spinning. I can't believe that I thought I was going to her house to comfort her and to try to smooth things over, only to find out that maybe we didn't have what I thought we did. After my entire speech about how her ex doens't have to ruin everything, I ask her if she thinks that we are missing anything. As far as I knew we werent. I asked her this because I wanted to know if her ex hadnt shown up, would there really be any reason for us to worry. I had to hear her seperate the conflict in her mind, seperate what we have from her feelings about her ex. She said no, at first. I told her that if there is something missing, that this is the time to tell me, because we're getting everything out now, and we need to be completely honest. Then I see her body shift. Ok, she has something to tell me. I'm thinking, whatever it is, it must be something small because we've been so happy together, and whatever it is, we'll be able to just work on it together. At this point, I'm not worried to hear what she has to say. And then she drops a bomb on me. And it's just sitting there between us and I'm scared to move. She tells me that she has been struggling with the fact that during the weekends that we've spent together (which were usually 3 and 4 days together), by the 3rd or 4th day, she was ready for me to leave.
I also found out that she had a pretty lenghty conversation with the ex the day before, and she said that she couldn't bring herself to tell the ex that she was dating someone. I had thought previously that they had had a quick conversation, and that she basically didn't have the time to tell her. But she did have the time, they talked for at least an hour she said. And she said that shouldn't have been so hard for her to tell her ex.
So I have two strikes against me in 2 days. She can't be around me for very long without actually neeeding her alone time, and she has never gotten over her ex who just suddenly appeared in her world again. We're supposed to be taking time to just think things over before we make any decisions to end things, a few days or something. But I just don't really see where I have a choice in the matter. I think her mind is made up, she's just not ready to say it yet.
I know that I was originally not moving to Richmond because of her, but she became such a big part of it. She became the biggest part of what I thought my happiness would be here. And 4 days into the big move, I'm losing her. I feel like my security is being ripped out from under me. This is all just so unexpected. I just keep thinking back to how happy I thought we were. And we were really so happy. I guess in the grand scheme of things, we weren't even together that long, but man I had just never felt so safe and connected to someone, ever.
She has said that she's scared of losing me, that she doesn't want me to ever go away. But I don't know how I'm supposed to stick around while she rekindles things with her ex. I just feel like everything is just one more jab through the heart. I'll be thinking about one thing, and then my mind shifts to another part of the hurt and I lose my breath again. It's all just so in my face right now that I don't know how to escape it. I'm in a foreign place that doesn't feel like home yet, and I've lost the person that was supposed to make this move easier on me. I was always excited about moving, but I was also always terrified, and I put my strength in her. I just feel like this is another lesson in learning that you really can't trust anyone except yourself. And I'm surrounded by happy couples here. My roommates are so madly in love. I'm absolutely terrified of New Years coming up. I was so looking foward to being with her for all of that, and then her birthday is 4 days later, and I was just so excited about all of that.
What the fuck do I do now? I feel like I'm being tested to see how strong I am, and it's funny because SquirtyB just said the same thing to me, that she thinks I'm being tested to show myself that I can do it on my own. But I'm tired of being tested. Yes, I know that life will go on and I'll be fine at some point, and I'll make new friends here and build a life for myself here, and even learn to enjoy myself here. But I'm tired of being tested. I'm tired of having to tell myself that 'life will go on, I don't need them.' All I want is to find my partner. That's all I've ever wanted. I want that feeling of belonging to someone else. I already know that I can do things on my own, that's never been a question. I'm more used to doing things on my own than with someone else. I just feel like I'm such a good person and I try so hard to do things right, and I really did think that I'd found something special this time. And when you connect with someone... your whole being connects with them, including your strength and identity. So now I'm going to feel the weight of losing part of myself as we break apart, and I have to find the strength to just stand on my own again, and find the strength to deal with this whole move and finding myself here, all at once.
She said last night that she can't change that something bothers her, she can't change that she still has feelings for someone else, and she can't change that she still loves me. It's just the way it is, and it's making her feel crazy. I don't know. Maybe time will tell how this all plays out... but it really fucking hurts right now.
A couple days ago S's ex emailed her... which in return made S tell me that she's not over her ex. At first I thought that it was because it was an unexpected email since they hadn't talked in 2 1/2 years, so it must have thrown her for a loop. But last night, I found out that she has always known that she hasn't been over her, and there apparently have been times that she's wanted to tell me that, and now she can't hide it anymore. I've been in Richmond for 3 days.
Now I'm a very understanding person, and I also know that I would want someone to genuinely want to be with me, so we said that i'd give her time to figure out what she wants to do and where her head is. But that was before I knew that it was something that was already on her mind.
My head is spinning right now... it's difficult just to formulate a thought.
Anyway, I went over to her house last night so we could talk some more. I actually thought that I had a fighting chance, because I was comparing her story to the story of my ex Joy... and how she and I broke up and got back together quite a few times. It wouldn't matter if I was with someone or not, as soon as she came back around, I was hooked, but it was always so pointless and it wasted so much time. So I was explaining that to S, telling her that she and her ex had already tried things twice and that there were reasons that it didn't work out. And that it's understandable that because her ex had suddenly made this surprise entrance back into her world, that it didn't have to mean that everything was going to fall apart.
Seriously... I can't even get through writing one paragraph without my head just spinning. I can't believe that I thought I was going to her house to comfort her and to try to smooth things over, only to find out that maybe we didn't have what I thought we did. After my entire speech about how her ex doens't have to ruin everything, I ask her if she thinks that we are missing anything. As far as I knew we werent. I asked her this because I wanted to know if her ex hadnt shown up, would there really be any reason for us to worry. I had to hear her seperate the conflict in her mind, seperate what we have from her feelings about her ex. She said no, at first. I told her that if there is something missing, that this is the time to tell me, because we're getting everything out now, and we need to be completely honest. Then I see her body shift. Ok, she has something to tell me. I'm thinking, whatever it is, it must be something small because we've been so happy together, and whatever it is, we'll be able to just work on it together. At this point, I'm not worried to hear what she has to say. And then she drops a bomb on me. And it's just sitting there between us and I'm scared to move. She tells me that she has been struggling with the fact that during the weekends that we've spent together (which were usually 3 and 4 days together), by the 3rd or 4th day, she was ready for me to leave.
I also found out that she had a pretty lenghty conversation with the ex the day before, and she said that she couldn't bring herself to tell the ex that she was dating someone. I had thought previously that they had had a quick conversation, and that she basically didn't have the time to tell her. But she did have the time, they talked for at least an hour she said. And she said that shouldn't have been so hard for her to tell her ex.
So I have two strikes against me in 2 days. She can't be around me for very long without actually neeeding her alone time, and she has never gotten over her ex who just suddenly appeared in her world again. We're supposed to be taking time to just think things over before we make any decisions to end things, a few days or something. But I just don't really see where I have a choice in the matter. I think her mind is made up, she's just not ready to say it yet.
I know that I was originally not moving to Richmond because of her, but she became such a big part of it. She became the biggest part of what I thought my happiness would be here. And 4 days into the big move, I'm losing her. I feel like my security is being ripped out from under me. This is all just so unexpected. I just keep thinking back to how happy I thought we were. And we were really so happy. I guess in the grand scheme of things, we weren't even together that long, but man I had just never felt so safe and connected to someone, ever.
She has said that she's scared of losing me, that she doesn't want me to ever go away. But I don't know how I'm supposed to stick around while she rekindles things with her ex. I just feel like everything is just one more jab through the heart. I'll be thinking about one thing, and then my mind shifts to another part of the hurt and I lose my breath again. It's all just so in my face right now that I don't know how to escape it. I'm in a foreign place that doesn't feel like home yet, and I've lost the person that was supposed to make this move easier on me. I was always excited about moving, but I was also always terrified, and I put my strength in her. I just feel like this is another lesson in learning that you really can't trust anyone except yourself. And I'm surrounded by happy couples here. My roommates are so madly in love. I'm absolutely terrified of New Years coming up. I was so looking foward to being with her for all of that, and then her birthday is 4 days later, and I was just so excited about all of that.
What the fuck do I do now? I feel like I'm being tested to see how strong I am, and it's funny because SquirtyB just said the same thing to me, that she thinks I'm being tested to show myself that I can do it on my own. But I'm tired of being tested. Yes, I know that life will go on and I'll be fine at some point, and I'll make new friends here and build a life for myself here, and even learn to enjoy myself here. But I'm tired of being tested. I'm tired of having to tell myself that 'life will go on, I don't need them.' All I want is to find my partner. That's all I've ever wanted. I want that feeling of belonging to someone else. I already know that I can do things on my own, that's never been a question. I'm more used to doing things on my own than with someone else. I just feel like I'm such a good person and I try so hard to do things right, and I really did think that I'd found something special this time. And when you connect with someone... your whole being connects with them, including your strength and identity. So now I'm going to feel the weight of losing part of myself as we break apart, and I have to find the strength to just stand on my own again, and find the strength to deal with this whole move and finding myself here, all at once.
She said last night that she can't change that something bothers her, she can't change that she still has feelings for someone else, and she can't change that she still loves me. It's just the way it is, and it's making her feel crazy. I don't know. Maybe time will tell how this all plays out... but it really fucking hurts right now.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
On my way :).
Well I know it's been a while... but I just really havent felt like writing in a bit. It's funny... cuz when things happen, I always think about how I'll want to write about it, but then when I sit down, I never feel like writing. I've actually been thinking a lot more about starting to write a book. I want a write a book about all of my bad dates... kinda like short story/chelsea handler style. I wanna ask others to also add their stories too, if they think they have a date in their past that is worth writing about... because it was soooo bad! (I have oodles of them. It's ridiculous!) But anyway... I think it would be fun to really share my stories. Some of them (well one in particular) is kinda graphic.. and I wanna put the story in there cuz it is hilarious, but I'm not sure that I should. S has said that she'll help me edit the book... so maybe I'll see what she thinks.
Anyway... the big update: I'm moving to Richmond this weekend! I've been packing up my stuff... and I'm just about ready to go. I got offered a job, and found some really great roommates all in one weekend about 3 weeks ago. Since then, I'm still really excited about the roommates, who are a lesbian couple, plus one other lesbian; but ive been having second thoughts about the salon. Luckily I had another salon call me so I had a phone interview today with the owner, and I think this might be a better fit for me. I'm meetin with her in person on Friday, and I'll make my decision after that. But wow... moving to Richmond in 3 days! It, for serious, just still doesnt seem real. I'm looking foward to getting there, and then fastfowarding like a week, so then I can feel more settled... and hopefully it'll start to feel like home. I'm totally stoked... I'm so excited that I made this decision and that I'm following through with it. This is the perfect ending to this year! I found a path that I wanted to take, and I'm taking it. I found love, and she's wonderful and adorable. I'm so happy for this fresh start to my life... and I can't wait until it all feels real. :)
Anyway... the big update: I'm moving to Richmond this weekend! I've been packing up my stuff... and I'm just about ready to go. I got offered a job, and found some really great roommates all in one weekend about 3 weeks ago. Since then, I'm still really excited about the roommates, who are a lesbian couple, plus one other lesbian; but ive been having second thoughts about the salon. Luckily I had another salon call me so I had a phone interview today with the owner, and I think this might be a better fit for me. I'm meetin with her in person on Friday, and I'll make my decision after that. But wow... moving to Richmond in 3 days! It, for serious, just still doesnt seem real. I'm looking foward to getting there, and then fastfowarding like a week, so then I can feel more settled... and hopefully it'll start to feel like home. I'm totally stoked... I'm so excited that I made this decision and that I'm following through with it. This is the perfect ending to this year! I found a path that I wanted to take, and I'm taking it. I found love, and she's wonderful and adorable. I'm so happy for this fresh start to my life... and I can't wait until it all feels real. :)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The process.
So I'm in the process of looking for a job and a place to live in Richmond, the city I want to move to. I've posted ads on some roommate websites, and I've been calling and emailing a few salons in the area. When I take a step back and think about it, it doesnt really seem that scary, but when I let myself fall into this mindset, the entire thing just scares me. I don't know why, and I can't even put a finger on what about it scares me, but it just seems like such a big thing. The city of Richmond is only 2 hours away from where I am now, and I know I want to move there, and start my life over and make a home for myself there, but it just seems like this big feat that feels unattainable, even though I know it is attainable and I can do it. I don't want to doubt myself, but it seems easy to do that right now.
My mom is no help at all with this. She just seems to be so negative on the idea, and has said a few times that she doesnt want me to make 'another mistake'. My mom sells insurance, and she is of the mindset that everyone should be in her business and it's like it's her life dream for my sister and I to follow in her footsteps. I did it when I was fresh out of high school, simply because I had no idea what else I wanted to do, but I ended up hating it, and eventually let my insurance license lapse. My sister has just recently caved and taken her insurance licensing exam, passed it, and is now my mom's little star child. Mom hasn't skipped a beat on telling me how my sister will now be able to earn her way towards the next company trip, which is to Hawaii, with this little grin on her face. I wanted to punch her. She also made a comment about how in the future my sister and I could take over all of her accounts. She has said all of this since I've made it known that I was planning on moving away. Well... not that that would matter, she has made her little comments ever since I started doing hair, about how I will always have to work two jobs, and I'll never be able to make a real living out of it. I completely disagree... the hair industry is always growing, it's something that I love doing, and it's something that I'm very good at, so if I want it bad enough, I can make a living out of doing what I love. I am so tired of hearing her negativity towards my profession. I just need to get out of this house, more than anything. But I'm not moving out of this house until I have a place in Richmond. So until then, I'll just have to get over it.
I went to see my dad last night, and he took me out to dinner. His wife was out of town, yay me. My dad is always good for a pick me up. I totally unloaded on him about how I'm feeling, and he knew exactly what to say. I am so thankful that he and I have gotten closer. But anyway, he told me that I can do anything that I put my mind to, because I'm his daughter. He was so encouraging, and he even said something that made me laugh my ass. He told me that my life should be fun. I asked what did he mean... and he said 'well, you've got the hair thing, and you've got the gay thing' hahaha. I think it's hilarious that he associated my being gay with being a fun life. But anyway, he's right. I do want my life to be fun. I'm an artist, and 'artists see the world differently,' said one of my aunts a couple months ago at a bbq. I do want my life to be full of beauty and love and peace and happiness, and I feel that I can truly create all of that around me if I just put my mind to it.
I can't wait to get out of this house. I think I'll start feeling better as soon as find a place to live and a job, so I can start making plans for the actual move. I just wish that that had all happened.. like... yesterday.
My mom is no help at all with this. She just seems to be so negative on the idea, and has said a few times that she doesnt want me to make 'another mistake'. My mom sells insurance, and she is of the mindset that everyone should be in her business and it's like it's her life dream for my sister and I to follow in her footsteps. I did it when I was fresh out of high school, simply because I had no idea what else I wanted to do, but I ended up hating it, and eventually let my insurance license lapse. My sister has just recently caved and taken her insurance licensing exam, passed it, and is now my mom's little star child. Mom hasn't skipped a beat on telling me how my sister will now be able to earn her way towards the next company trip, which is to Hawaii, with this little grin on her face. I wanted to punch her. She also made a comment about how in the future my sister and I could take over all of her accounts. She has said all of this since I've made it known that I was planning on moving away. Well... not that that would matter, she has made her little comments ever since I started doing hair, about how I will always have to work two jobs, and I'll never be able to make a real living out of it. I completely disagree... the hair industry is always growing, it's something that I love doing, and it's something that I'm very good at, so if I want it bad enough, I can make a living out of doing what I love. I am so tired of hearing her negativity towards my profession. I just need to get out of this house, more than anything. But I'm not moving out of this house until I have a place in Richmond. So until then, I'll just have to get over it.
I went to see my dad last night, and he took me out to dinner. His wife was out of town, yay me. My dad is always good for a pick me up. I totally unloaded on him about how I'm feeling, and he knew exactly what to say. I am so thankful that he and I have gotten closer. But anyway, he told me that I can do anything that I put my mind to, because I'm his daughter. He was so encouraging, and he even said something that made me laugh my ass. He told me that my life should be fun. I asked what did he mean... and he said 'well, you've got the hair thing, and you've got the gay thing' hahaha. I think it's hilarious that he associated my being gay with being a fun life. But anyway, he's right. I do want my life to be fun. I'm an artist, and 'artists see the world differently,' said one of my aunts a couple months ago at a bbq. I do want my life to be full of beauty and love and peace and happiness, and I feel that I can truly create all of that around me if I just put my mind to it.
I can't wait to get out of this house. I think I'll start feeling better as soon as find a place to live and a job, so I can start making plans for the actual move. I just wish that that had all happened.. like... yesterday.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Bloggerstock October: Ghost Stories
Yayyyyy it's bloggerstock day!!! If you havent heard of bloggerstock, go take a look and sign up for next month's list. It's basically a big blog swap, all writing about our version of a topic. Whoop!
And now, without further adooo... I present:
Hi there, I'm Jennifer Z from Fickle Kitsch, and I'm appearing here today for Bloggerstock, a great guest-blogging program!
Bloggerstock asked us to tell ghost stories, but I've never seen a ghost. To be honest, that's probably a good thing. For most of my life, I've been a giant wimp. When I was around seven or eight, I decided that I wanted go into the Haunted Barn at the apple orchard my family always went to. My dad knew this was a terrible idea, since I'd previously proven myself too delicate to watch Casper the Friendly Ghost, but I insisted. We waited in line for a good hour, and finally entered the silo. There was a big window that I happily scurried up to and pressed my nose against. There was water about up to my chest and long murky vines, a swamp.
"You might want to step back, honey," my dad said. He knew what was coming even if I didn't. I peered into the water, thinking This isn't so scary! And then a swamp monster burst from under the water, I screamed, and had to be carried sobbing out of the barn with my face buried in my dad's neck.
Obviously, I felt it would be best to avoid the a scarier parts of the holiday. I never watched scary movies, and when I volunteered at a haunted house in high school, I worked concessions (although that was pretty horrifying itself--the Monster Mash over and over again for five hours). I love Halloween because it's the only day of the year that everyone else seems to understand how awesome dressing up is. I'm all about dressing up and inappropriately elaborate costumes. Luckily, I find friends with the same kind of burning desire to look ridiculous in public.
I guess the point of the story is that Halloween is awesome. And even though it turns out I'm not scared of scary movies anymore (as long as there are people more scared than me that I can laugh at), I would still rather spend my afternoon taking a few hundred photos of me and my roommates locking each other up and staging elaborate fight scenes around campus (we were Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, and Supergirl, for inquiring minds). You have to make the holidays work for you, in whatever way you have to.
If you care less about touching Halloween sentiments, and more about clothes, you're my kind of person! It's a bit late to give advice about picking costumes, but never forget how much awesome stuff you have in your own house. There are props, costumes, and accessories aplenty that can be found lying on the floor of your closet or in the back of a drawer. It's always fun to spend money on the things that would really make the outfit, and be creative with the rest. (in my own example, I cut up a dress I already owned to make my Poison Ivy costume, plus glove and boot accessories. The only thing I needed to buy were lime green tights).
Have a safe and happy Halloween!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>Also, be sure to check out where I posted today, over at Cerebral Lunchbox, and read about my spooky story. :)
And now, without further adooo... I present:
Hi there, I'm Jennifer Z from Fickle Kitsch, and I'm appearing here today for Bloggerstock, a great guest-blogging program!
Bloggerstock asked us to tell ghost stories, but I've never seen a ghost. To be honest, that's probably a good thing. For most of my life, I've been a giant wimp. When I was around seven or eight, I decided that I wanted go into the Haunted Barn at the apple orchard my family always went to. My dad knew this was a terrible idea, since I'd previously proven myself too delicate to watch Casper the Friendly Ghost, but I insisted. We waited in line for a good hour, and finally entered the silo. There was a big window that I happily scurried up to and pressed my nose against. There was water about up to my chest and long murky vines, a swamp.
"You might want to step back, honey," my dad said. He knew what was coming even if I didn't. I peered into the water, thinking This isn't so scary! And then a swamp monster burst from under the water, I screamed, and had to be carried sobbing out of the barn with my face buried in my dad's neck.
Obviously, I felt it would be best to avoid the a scarier parts of the holiday. I never watched scary movies, and when I volunteered at a haunted house in high school, I worked concessions (although that was pretty horrifying itself--the Monster Mash over and over again for five hours). I love Halloween because it's the only day of the year that everyone else seems to understand how awesome dressing up is. I'm all about dressing up and inappropriately elaborate costumes. Luckily, I find friends with the same kind of burning desire to look ridiculous in public.
I guess the point of the story is that Halloween is awesome. And even though it turns out I'm not scared of scary movies anymore (as long as there are people more scared than me that I can laugh at), I would still rather spend my afternoon taking a few hundred photos of me and my roommates locking each other up and staging elaborate fight scenes around campus (we were Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, and Supergirl, for inquiring minds). You have to make the holidays work for you, in whatever way you have to.
If you care less about touching Halloween sentiments, and more about clothes, you're my kind of person! It's a bit late to give advice about picking costumes, but never forget how much awesome stuff you have in your own house. There are props, costumes, and accessories aplenty that can be found lying on the floor of your closet or in the back of a drawer. It's always fun to spend money on the things that would really make the outfit, and be creative with the rest. (in my own example, I cut up a dress I already owned to make my Poison Ivy costume, plus glove and boot accessories. The only thing I needed to buy were lime green tights).
Have a safe and happy Halloween!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>Also, be sure to check out where I posted today, over at Cerebral Lunchbox, and read about my spooky story. :)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I got orchids. Purple ones. WIN!!
So this past weekend, I got to meet S's baby sister who is 14. I couldn't believe how much she reminded me of my little sister. They are both super hyper and talkative and have to tell you every little detail of every story even when you have no idea who or what they are talking about... the only difference is that my sister is a little more bitchy and she's also 8 years older. Her sister was so cute though, I cut her hair and plucked her eyebrows and you could just tell she felt so pretty and I love seein young girls feel good about themselves.
We also made a trip to Walmart with their dad, and baby sister and their dad wrestled in the backseat on the way-so cute. I love her family, everyone gets along so well and they're so playful. :) After the walmart trip, we all 4 played texas holdem and then apples to apples... and it was so much fun. I love playing games!! I totally kicked ass in apples to apples and it was my first time playing MUAHAHAHA! I just loved that we were all laughing the whole time together, and most of all I love seeing S smile. Her face just takes on a whole new shape when she laughs really hard... and it gives me butterflies every time I see her laugh like that.
On Sunday, her older sister and her husband and 4 kids came over, and I did her daughter's highlights and haircut. She loved it hehe... could it be that I'm winning brownie points with the family? :) It was a really great weekend. We went and saw Hereafter that night though, and wow that was a waste of time and money. Don't see it.
Early Monday morning, I started feeling sick though, and ended up not feeling to well for the next two days. Trust me, you don't want details. But S came home early from work on Monday to take care of me. She went to the store to get me some fruit and soup (I was scared to try to eat anything else) and she came home with purple orchids too :). Seeeee??
Oh and she pulled out some of her old family home videos from when she was a kid... lol she was such a cute kid! My favorite video was her when she was maybe 3 or 4, singing all the songs that she had learned in preschool, but she was kinda hard to understand... but still kept singin hehe. PRECIOUSSSS.
It's raining tonight and I'm so happy about that... I've gotten spoiled when I'm with her, she has a fancy iphone... and she has this app on it called ambiance, and you can play different sounds to put you to sleep, and my favorite is the sound of rain with light thunder in the background... puts me right to sleep. I'm home on my own, and I think I'm gonna crack my bedroom window just so I can hear it better. Drinkin my sleepy-time strawberry tea, and gonna get ready for bed. :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Best Lovey Weekend Part 2 (continued from my last post)
So yeah. I'm in love. Sooooo in loooooveee haha (seriously... I can hear the music in the background).
She told me she loved me, and it was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment. I cut her hair before we went out, and while I was cutting, she said 'I'm glad you said it back,' lol... as if I wouldn't have. But she said 'you never know!' While we were out that night with some friends, I just kept looking at her and swooning. I'm just so proud and lucky to have her next to me. She's just the cutest thing I've ever seen. Is this gushy enough for you??
So the next night, we went to her bosses work party at his house. Wow... this house was gorgeous. HUGE. The backyard was amazing, had this huge patio with a big open fireplace, a big pool, hot tub, huge detached garage, and even a little pool house. I got to meet all the crazy hilarious girls that she works with, and I really liked them. We all brought our own beer and snacks.. and whew it was some good eatin! Her boss and his wife were really nice too, they were all just a really welcoming group of people. Every now and then, S would put her hand on my back or on my leg if we were sitting down and every single time she did that I'd get little butterflies. At one point S went inside to use the potty, and one of her coworkers and I struck up a conversation. This girl was one of the really funny ones, who was crackin jokes all night, but she was so sweet when it was just her and me talking. She asked how long S and I had been together, and I said we'd only known each other for a couple months, and her jaw dropped. She said that we looked like we'd been together for a really long time, and that you can just tell when people are really 'in it' together, and she said we are. It was so cute! What a nice compliment :)
When we were leaving, her boss gave me a hug goodbye, and he's gotta be like at least 6'5 or something, cuz he had to bend over a lot to hug me lol (I'm 5'1). I had so much fun, and we'd both had our fair share of drinkies, so when we got home, I started seeing that S was a little drunk haha. We had a quick picture fest (but not before S took her pants off and I had to grab her before the shirt came off too so we could take pictures since we both looked so cute that night). Wanna see?
And then, we remembered that we had cheesecake in the fridge downstairs, but our clothes were already off. SOOOOOO... we went downstairs half naked, her in only her underwear, and me in my bra and underwear, and ate our yummy cheesecake. I'm not sure that life can get any better than that, watching my naked girlfriend eat cheesecake, while I eat cheesecake lol. Is it possible??
I had to get up early the next morning to drive home (2 hour drive) since I had wedding clients to do at 11, and my sweetness got up and made me french toast, folded my clothes and packed my bags, got me all situated while I was in the shower. She is so good to me. She's my little dream come true. :)
She told me she loved me, and it was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment. I cut her hair before we went out, and while I was cutting, she said 'I'm glad you said it back,' lol... as if I wouldn't have. But she said 'you never know!' While we were out that night with some friends, I just kept looking at her and swooning. I'm just so proud and lucky to have her next to me. She's just the cutest thing I've ever seen. Is this gushy enough for you??
So the next night, we went to her bosses work party at his house. Wow... this house was gorgeous. HUGE. The backyard was amazing, had this huge patio with a big open fireplace, a big pool, hot tub, huge detached garage, and even a little pool house. I got to meet all the crazy hilarious girls that she works with, and I really liked them. We all brought our own beer and snacks.. and whew it was some good eatin! Her boss and his wife were really nice too, they were all just a really welcoming group of people. Every now and then, S would put her hand on my back or on my leg if we were sitting down and every single time she did that I'd get little butterflies. At one point S went inside to use the potty, and one of her coworkers and I struck up a conversation. This girl was one of the really funny ones, who was crackin jokes all night, but she was so sweet when it was just her and me talking. She asked how long S and I had been together, and I said we'd only known each other for a couple months, and her jaw dropped. She said that we looked like we'd been together for a really long time, and that you can just tell when people are really 'in it' together, and she said we are. It was so cute! What a nice compliment :)
When we were leaving, her boss gave me a hug goodbye, and he's gotta be like at least 6'5 or something, cuz he had to bend over a lot to hug me lol (I'm 5'1). I had so much fun, and we'd both had our fair share of drinkies, so when we got home, I started seeing that S was a little drunk haha. We had a quick picture fest (but not before S took her pants off and I had to grab her before the shirt came off too so we could take pictures since we both looked so cute that night). Wanna see?
I had to get up early the next morning to drive home (2 hour drive) since I had wedding clients to do at 11, and my sweetness got up and made me french toast, folded my clothes and packed my bags, got me all situated while I was in the shower. She is so good to me. She's my little dream come true. :)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Best lovey weekend so far :)
So I wasnt planning on going to visit S this past weekend, but all it took was a little whining on her end and I decided to plan a surprise trip. Her boss was planning an employee party at his home Saturday night, and everyone was going to be bringing their significant others but 'hers wasn't going to be there... mehhhh', so that made her not want to go. Well I knew that I could do a couple haircuts in the area if I went, and since she had to work all day Saturday, I thought I could get those done that day, so I made the calls to set those up. And then I started asking S inquiring questions about her other weekend plans to see when I should show up on her doorstep unexpected. Well, apparently I asked too much, and she figured it out that I was planning on coming up to see her, and once she said 'I know your surprise', I couldn't hide it anymore lol. But! I still got her anyway. I told her I wouldn't be able to get up there til late Friday night, after work, but I ended up calling in, and getting on the road at about 10am, so I was on her doorstep by 12. The timing was perfect because that's when I would usually be taking my lunch break, so I was able to call her and ask what she was doing, so I would know where she was in the house. She was cleaning her bathroom, and I said 'okay, well let me run in here and get some food, and I'll call you back'. I ended up running to her door, and rang the doorbell. Took her a minute to calm her bedhead down, not knowing who was gonna be on the other side of the door, but she was able to look through the peephole before slowly opening the door with one of the cutest faces I've seen yet on her-a half smile with a look of 'you tricked me' hehe. I don't know if this is possible, but she literally looks cuter and cuter everytime I see her. I jumped in the house and started laughing as I swallowed her up in my arms, and she fought to cover her lips with her shirt since she hadn't yet brushed her teeth for the day lol (baby just woke up like half an hour before!). "You tricked me. hmph," she kept saying, with a smile on her cute little face, and it was so worth the drive, just to see that face. Man... I'm just so smitten lol.
We've decided to be Danny and Sandy from Grease for Halloween, and since she had the day off, she was planning on going out to look for a leather jacket that day. So after she got ready, we went out for our shopping day. She treated me to Cheesecake Factory (which by the way is just ridiculously expensive, there's a reason I hardly ever eat there!) and then we walked around Short Pump Mall for the rest of the day. I can't even describe why, but it was just the most perfect day we'd had. We held hands, she rubbed my shoulders as we stood in line for starbucks, she laughed at me as this english woman in a tea shop ended up talking me into buying a new tea pot, loose leaf blooming tea, and a tea tin to keep my tea in (which by the way I'm in love with, and will be telling you about later) and she tried on different jackets (all of which she looked ridiculously hot in... seriously... how is this girl my girlfriend?? she's way too hot for me!) and as we walked around the mall, we were that couple that I used to joke but secretly be jealous of, the ones that walk with their arms around each other, the ones that just look so happy. That was finally me. I'm telling you, I've found her. I have never felt this happy. She'd put her arm around my shoulders and squeeze me close as hard as she could, and I'd have my arm around her hip, and we'd just love on each other, even when we were just looking at the directory to figure out where to go next. I just can't get enough of this girl, and I've never had that feeling be so mutual with someone.
We ran a few more errands before getting back home, and by then I was exhausted. We had made plans to meet up with SquirtyB and her gf and roommate that night, but we had about 2 hours to kill before doing that. I told S that I might need a cat nap, as I collapsed on her couch. She came over to me after dropping all our bags on the floor, and straddled my lap facing me. We loved on each other for a bit, this is definitely one of my favorite cuddle positions, when she just curls up her little body on top of me and wraps her whole body around me... and she took my face in her hands as she kissed me a bit, then she sat back up and placed her hands down on my legs and said 'wanna know a secret?' I knodded and smiled, I knew what was coming, I wasnt sure, but I thought maybe just maybe... and she said 'I love you' while looking at me with a half happy smile, half slightly scared smile, and I just melted. I literally felt this ZING go through my whole body, and I said 'I love you too' as my heart raced :). I just wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her so tightly, and then told her... 'I'm awake!' haha... I definitely didn't need a nap after that. It was so sweet and intimate and just perfect. I knew I was falling in love with her by at least the last time we hung out, but after that day together, there was no question. That's only the first half of our lovey weekend, but I have to get ready for work, so I'll finish this up later. I'm so happy and lucky!! :)
We've decided to be Danny and Sandy from Grease for Halloween, and since she had the day off, she was planning on going out to look for a leather jacket that day. So after she got ready, we went out for our shopping day. She treated me to Cheesecake Factory (which by the way is just ridiculously expensive, there's a reason I hardly ever eat there!) and then we walked around Short Pump Mall for the rest of the day. I can't even describe why, but it was just the most perfect day we'd had. We held hands, she rubbed my shoulders as we stood in line for starbucks, she laughed at me as this english woman in a tea shop ended up talking me into buying a new tea pot, loose leaf blooming tea, and a tea tin to keep my tea in (which by the way I'm in love with, and will be telling you about later) and she tried on different jackets (all of which she looked ridiculously hot in... seriously... how is this girl my girlfriend?? she's way too hot for me!) and as we walked around the mall, we were that couple that I used to joke but secretly be jealous of, the ones that walk with their arms around each other, the ones that just look so happy. That was finally me. I'm telling you, I've found her. I have never felt this happy. She'd put her arm around my shoulders and squeeze me close as hard as she could, and I'd have my arm around her hip, and we'd just love on each other, even when we were just looking at the directory to figure out where to go next. I just can't get enough of this girl, and I've never had that feeling be so mutual with someone.
We ran a few more errands before getting back home, and by then I was exhausted. We had made plans to meet up with SquirtyB and her gf and roommate that night, but we had about 2 hours to kill before doing that. I told S that I might need a cat nap, as I collapsed on her couch. She came over to me after dropping all our bags on the floor, and straddled my lap facing me. We loved on each other for a bit, this is definitely one of my favorite cuddle positions, when she just curls up her little body on top of me and wraps her whole body around me... and she took my face in her hands as she kissed me a bit, then she sat back up and placed her hands down on my legs and said 'wanna know a secret?' I knodded and smiled, I knew what was coming, I wasnt sure, but I thought maybe just maybe... and she said 'I love you' while looking at me with a half happy smile, half slightly scared smile, and I just melted. I literally felt this ZING go through my whole body, and I said 'I love you too' as my heart raced :). I just wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her so tightly, and then told her... 'I'm awake!' haha... I definitely didn't need a nap after that. It was so sweet and intimate and just perfect. I knew I was falling in love with her by at least the last time we hung out, but after that day together, there was no question. That's only the first half of our lovey weekend, but I have to get ready for work, so I'll finish this up later. I'm so happy and lucky!! :)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
100 Things About Me-2010
Ok here we go, I'm thinking I'm gonna try to do this every year. Here's a new list of 100 things about me, read my list from Sept 2009 HERE. I might end up repeating some things, but this is meant to be an update. I dunno, we'll just see what happens. :)
1. My last name is Jones. Yep... one of the many.
2. I hate that my name is so plain. I think no matter what my first and middle names were, my name would still sound plain and common.
3. I have a habit of using my middle name whenever I'm writing my name... I have my full name on my business cards. I never actually go by my middle name, or even both first and middle together, but my name just looks too short and plain to me without it.
4. I used to dream of the day I could get married just so I could change my name lol. I don't think like that anymore, I'm proud to be a member of my family, and take pride in my name. But the looks of it on paper just looks too plain for my taste. I think the only way I would change my name now, marriage or not, is if I had kids. I'd hyphenate my name with my partners, so that the baby could have the same last name as me. Or a variation of sorts. haha.
5. Speaking of babes, at this point in my life, I don't think it would be the worst thing if I didn't reproduce. I have friends now that have kids, and see how much they have changed and how much their lives have changed, it's all too much for me to consider to be a good thing. Maybe when I'm settled in a relationship, like EXTREMELY settled I might think otherwise, but right now I just can't see raising kids as being a part of my life.
6. anddddd thennnn I look at my baby pictures, and other peoples' babies and baby pictures... and I totally rethink everything lol. I think it will just depend on who I end up with. I would never consider having kids on my own.
7. I still daydream all the time, but it's much more about just finding my partner for life, rather than a partner and kids.
8. I zone out a lot. This is pretty much just daydreaming, but I've come to realize that I will zone out when I'm not interested in something, even if it's someone talking to me.
9. I probably do this the most with my sister, and she has made it very apparent that it pisses her off. But I can't help it. The girl does not shut up, and is often talking everyone's ears off about stuff that we don't care about, or about people that we don't know. It's turned into a family joke, but sometimes she makes it known how much my zoning gets to her.
10. I have also realized over the past year that my sister and I might never be as close as I'd hope to be with a sister. She and I are just too different.
11. She and I get along fine when we see each other, but we are not involved in each others' lives outside of family get togethers. I wonder if this will ever change. People used to tell me that we would become closer when we were older, but I just don't see it happening.
12. We got in such a major fight over christmas last year that we didn't even talk for the first few months of this year. During that time, it didn't even up feeling all that different than we usually do, since we don't ever really talk. My mom ended up paying for me to send my sister flowers to try to break the ice, even though it was clear that it was my sister's stubborn attitude that was the reason for us not talking. I guess I'll always be the one who is expected to be the mature one.
13. This year has become a really bad year for insomnia for me. I don't remember ever having this much trouble sleeping.
14. The insomnia got so bad at one point that I was literally up until I could hear the birds chirping outside before I could go to sleep. I am thinking that it has something to do with the stress of living back at home with my mom.
15. I am much more like my dad than I ever realized. I used to think that I was more like my mom, but my cousin pointed it out to me a few months ago, that he thinks I'm so much like my dad. I am starting to agree, we seem to both have the same outlook on life, a strong need to enjoy life for all that it's worth.
16. I have to use Q-tips after every shower. If I don't, I will feel like I have water in my ears all day. Ok maybe not all day, but enough to annoy the crap out of me for a while.
17. I have an obsession with Chelsea Handler. I have all 3 of her books, and think that she is an absolute genius when it comes to comedy. I have never read a book make me laugh OUT LOUD so hard.
18. If my dog Daisy is near me when I'm eating, I always give her the last bite of whatever I'm eating. She is the sweetest and most well behaved dog ever, but she knows I'm a sucker hehe.
19. I think that The Office and Friends are the two greatest comedy shows ever made. I have seen every episode of both shows, many times, and it will never get old.
20. As far as dramas, Six Feet Under is at the absolute top of my list. That is another show that I could repeatedly watch over and over. It's just amazing, and I was so sad when it ended. But, the ending was epic, and I cried like a baby.
21. My new favorite guilty pleasure show is Jerseylicious. I refuse to watch Jersey Shore, but Jerseylicious is reality gold lol.
22. I have a habit of leaving bobby pins wherever I go. They're like my fairy dust. :)
23. I decided to leave the salon I was working in for 4 years back in December of last year. It was my time to move on, but it was a very difficult decision to come to. I miss my salon family, but I don't miss the minimal compensation.
24. When I told my bosses that I was leaving, the wife (husband and wife team own the salon) burst into tears and had to leave the room. I balled like a baby, and could hardly get my words out to say why I had to go.
25. When I told them that I was going to be doing hair from home, going to my clients' homes to do their hair, the husband told me that it was completely tacky and rolled his eyes, and then I remembered immediately why I was leaving the salon. I will always love that man and appreciate everything that he taught me, but I will never be ok with a man putting me down, no matter how much he thinks I owe him.
26. The next day, the wife asked me to stay on at the salon for one day a week. I ended up doing that for the next few months, but eventually it just wasn't worth my while. Like I said, I miss the salon family, but I'm glad that I found the courage to move on and do what was best for me.
27. Since then, I have been a traveling hairstylist, and I've had a blast. I go to my clients' homes to do their hair, and they often feed me dinner and/or drinks. The money is so much better, and I've definitely spoiled myself with being able to work whenever I want.
28. I've been doing this for about 9 months now, and I do love it, but lately I've been going back and forth with wanting to be a part of a salon family again. I wouldn't go back to the salon where I was, but it would be nice to feel like I'm a part of something again, instead of just always riding solo. I think it has left me feeling more lonely than anything, but I wouldn't trade this experience.
29. I have been wanting to move away from my hometown for years, and I've recently decided that it's time to do that. The thought of it terrifies me, but not enough for the excitement of it to completely outweigh my fears.
30. I worry that I won't be able to fully do it on my own. I have had help from my parents in one way or another my whole life. But I think that this is the leap that I want and need to take. I want to feel self sufficient more than anything right now. I imagine that it will really be the best feeling ever.
31. I've decided to move to Richmond, Va. It's about 2 hours from where I am now. I think this is the perfect place for me. The art scene is huge there, and it just feels like an entirely different world. Plus I will be close enough to home that I can come stay for a few days each month and keep a lot of my clients, just get them all done back to back in a few days.
32. I am the opposite of a germ-a-phob.
33. If I don't have a toothbrush and need one, I will (and have) use a friend's toothbrush, even if it means I don't tell them lol.
34. I pick my nose, and you do too. Don't lie.
35. My natural hair color is dark blonde, and since I color my hair darker, I have to color my eyebrows too so they don't look too light.
36. I swear that I wished my hair curly. I've had straight hair all my life and I had always wanted curly hair, and just in the past couple years it started just curling by itself. totally stoked :)
37. I absolutely love being in my car. Driving with my music up really high is seriously the most therapeutic thing to me.
38. I take cat naps whenever I need some energy. Like just 20 minutes of a nap will totally energize me... and if I take it late in the day then it'll mess up my sleep schedule for the night... i'll be up really late.
39. I can fall asleep with the tv on, but I know it'll wake me up soon after, so I use that as an alarm clock whenever I'm taking a cat nap. I just leave the tv on with the volume on low, and I know it'll wake me back up soon.
40. I'm still obsessed with sudoku. I like it because it clears my head while I'm working on the grids.
41. I've probably had the craziest and worst dates of anyone I know.
42. I have had a girl stalk me for 6 months after only 2 dates.
43. Reading Chelsea Handler's books made me want to write my own book, making it about all of my horrible dates. I have sooooo many crazy dating stories. I could definitely write a book, and I'd probably ask some friends to give me their stories too and make it a collaboration book. Would be hilarious!
44. I've lived at the beach my whole life, but dream about living in the mountains.
45. I also prefer cooler weather, which is not the norm for someone who grew up at the beach haha.
46. Autumn is my favorite season, all the warm colors in the changing of the leaves literally fills me up inside.
47. I also love flowers. Flowers literally make me sooooo happy haha. It's a different thing then just that I like to get flowers... I just love flowers and am amazed that their beauty occurs naturally in nature.
48. I'm actually not a big fan of getting roses though. I prefer different and exotic types of flowers to traditional ones. Wild flowers are the best though. Just picked right out of a field :).
49. My favorite color is still purple.
50. I think it's funny how much of my stuff ends up being purple without me even planning on it. Like my shampoo and conditioner bottles are purple, my face wash bottle is purple, a lot of my make up packaging is purple, and I even tried out a new mascara because the bottle was purple. I didn't actually realize that until later, but it's funny how I'm just drawn to purple things.
I'm gonna go ahead and post this... took me forever just to get this far, but I'm gonna try to finish the 100 things soon.
1. My last name is Jones. Yep... one of the many.
2. I hate that my name is so plain. I think no matter what my first and middle names were, my name would still sound plain and common.
3. I have a habit of using my middle name whenever I'm writing my name... I have my full name on my business cards. I never actually go by my middle name, or even both first and middle together, but my name just looks too short and plain to me without it.
4. I used to dream of the day I could get married just so I could change my name lol. I don't think like that anymore, I'm proud to be a member of my family, and take pride in my name. But the looks of it on paper just looks too plain for my taste. I think the only way I would change my name now, marriage or not, is if I had kids. I'd hyphenate my name with my partners, so that the baby could have the same last name as me. Or a variation of sorts. haha.
5. Speaking of babes, at this point in my life, I don't think it would be the worst thing if I didn't reproduce. I have friends now that have kids, and see how much they have changed and how much their lives have changed, it's all too much for me to consider to be a good thing. Maybe when I'm settled in a relationship, like EXTREMELY settled I might think otherwise, but right now I just can't see raising kids as being a part of my life.
6. anddddd thennnn I look at my baby pictures, and other peoples' babies and baby pictures... and I totally rethink everything lol. I think it will just depend on who I end up with. I would never consider having kids on my own.
7. I still daydream all the time, but it's much more about just finding my partner for life, rather than a partner and kids.
8. I zone out a lot. This is pretty much just daydreaming, but I've come to realize that I will zone out when I'm not interested in something, even if it's someone talking to me.
9. I probably do this the most with my sister, and she has made it very apparent that it pisses her off. But I can't help it. The girl does not shut up, and is often talking everyone's ears off about stuff that we don't care about, or about people that we don't know. It's turned into a family joke, but sometimes she makes it known how much my zoning gets to her.
10. I have also realized over the past year that my sister and I might never be as close as I'd hope to be with a sister. She and I are just too different.
11. She and I get along fine when we see each other, but we are not involved in each others' lives outside of family get togethers. I wonder if this will ever change. People used to tell me that we would become closer when we were older, but I just don't see it happening.
12. We got in such a major fight over christmas last year that we didn't even talk for the first few months of this year. During that time, it didn't even up feeling all that different than we usually do, since we don't ever really talk. My mom ended up paying for me to send my sister flowers to try to break the ice, even though it was clear that it was my sister's stubborn attitude that was the reason for us not talking. I guess I'll always be the one who is expected to be the mature one.
13. This year has become a really bad year for insomnia for me. I don't remember ever having this much trouble sleeping.
14. The insomnia got so bad at one point that I was literally up until I could hear the birds chirping outside before I could go to sleep. I am thinking that it has something to do with the stress of living back at home with my mom.
15. I am much more like my dad than I ever realized. I used to think that I was more like my mom, but my cousin pointed it out to me a few months ago, that he thinks I'm so much like my dad. I am starting to agree, we seem to both have the same outlook on life, a strong need to enjoy life for all that it's worth.
16. I have to use Q-tips after every shower. If I don't, I will feel like I have water in my ears all day. Ok maybe not all day, but enough to annoy the crap out of me for a while.
17. I have an obsession with Chelsea Handler. I have all 3 of her books, and think that she is an absolute genius when it comes to comedy. I have never read a book make me laugh OUT LOUD so hard.
18. If my dog Daisy is near me when I'm eating, I always give her the last bite of whatever I'm eating. She is the sweetest and most well behaved dog ever, but she knows I'm a sucker hehe.
19. I think that The Office and Friends are the two greatest comedy shows ever made. I have seen every episode of both shows, many times, and it will never get old.
20. As far as dramas, Six Feet Under is at the absolute top of my list. That is another show that I could repeatedly watch over and over. It's just amazing, and I was so sad when it ended. But, the ending was epic, and I cried like a baby.
21. My new favorite guilty pleasure show is Jerseylicious. I refuse to watch Jersey Shore, but Jerseylicious is reality gold lol.
22. I have a habit of leaving bobby pins wherever I go. They're like my fairy dust. :)
23. I decided to leave the salon I was working in for 4 years back in December of last year. It was my time to move on, but it was a very difficult decision to come to. I miss my salon family, but I don't miss the minimal compensation.
24. When I told my bosses that I was leaving, the wife (husband and wife team own the salon) burst into tears and had to leave the room. I balled like a baby, and could hardly get my words out to say why I had to go.
25. When I told them that I was going to be doing hair from home, going to my clients' homes to do their hair, the husband told me that it was completely tacky and rolled his eyes, and then I remembered immediately why I was leaving the salon. I will always love that man and appreciate everything that he taught me, but I will never be ok with a man putting me down, no matter how much he thinks I owe him.
26. The next day, the wife asked me to stay on at the salon for one day a week. I ended up doing that for the next few months, but eventually it just wasn't worth my while. Like I said, I miss the salon family, but I'm glad that I found the courage to move on and do what was best for me.
27. Since then, I have been a traveling hairstylist, and I've had a blast. I go to my clients' homes to do their hair, and they often feed me dinner and/or drinks. The money is so much better, and I've definitely spoiled myself with being able to work whenever I want.
28. I've been doing this for about 9 months now, and I do love it, but lately I've been going back and forth with wanting to be a part of a salon family again. I wouldn't go back to the salon where I was, but it would be nice to feel like I'm a part of something again, instead of just always riding solo. I think it has left me feeling more lonely than anything, but I wouldn't trade this experience.
29. I have been wanting to move away from my hometown for years, and I've recently decided that it's time to do that. The thought of it terrifies me, but not enough for the excitement of it to completely outweigh my fears.
30. I worry that I won't be able to fully do it on my own. I have had help from my parents in one way or another my whole life. But I think that this is the leap that I want and need to take. I want to feel self sufficient more than anything right now. I imagine that it will really be the best feeling ever.
31. I've decided to move to Richmond, Va. It's about 2 hours from where I am now. I think this is the perfect place for me. The art scene is huge there, and it just feels like an entirely different world. Plus I will be close enough to home that I can come stay for a few days each month and keep a lot of my clients, just get them all done back to back in a few days.
32. I am the opposite of a germ-a-phob.
33. If I don't have a toothbrush and need one, I will (and have) use a friend's toothbrush, even if it means I don't tell them lol.
34. I pick my nose, and you do too. Don't lie.
35. My natural hair color is dark blonde, and since I color my hair darker, I have to color my eyebrows too so they don't look too light.
36. I swear that I wished my hair curly. I've had straight hair all my life and I had always wanted curly hair, and just in the past couple years it started just curling by itself. totally stoked :)
37. I absolutely love being in my car. Driving with my music up really high is seriously the most therapeutic thing to me.
38. I take cat naps whenever I need some energy. Like just 20 minutes of a nap will totally energize me... and if I take it late in the day then it'll mess up my sleep schedule for the night... i'll be up really late.
39. I can fall asleep with the tv on, but I know it'll wake me up soon after, so I use that as an alarm clock whenever I'm taking a cat nap. I just leave the tv on with the volume on low, and I know it'll wake me back up soon.
40. I'm still obsessed with sudoku. I like it because it clears my head while I'm working on the grids.
41. I've probably had the craziest and worst dates of anyone I know.
42. I have had a girl stalk me for 6 months after only 2 dates.
43. Reading Chelsea Handler's books made me want to write my own book, making it about all of my horrible dates. I have sooooo many crazy dating stories. I could definitely write a book, and I'd probably ask some friends to give me their stories too and make it a collaboration book. Would be hilarious!
44. I've lived at the beach my whole life, but dream about living in the mountains.
45. I also prefer cooler weather, which is not the norm for someone who grew up at the beach haha.
46. Autumn is my favorite season, all the warm colors in the changing of the leaves literally fills me up inside.
47. I also love flowers. Flowers literally make me sooooo happy haha. It's a different thing then just that I like to get flowers... I just love flowers and am amazed that their beauty occurs naturally in nature.
48. I'm actually not a big fan of getting roses though. I prefer different and exotic types of flowers to traditional ones. Wild flowers are the best though. Just picked right out of a field :).
49. My favorite color is still purple.
50. I think it's funny how much of my stuff ends up being purple without me even planning on it. Like my shampoo and conditioner bottles are purple, my face wash bottle is purple, a lot of my make up packaging is purple, and I even tried out a new mascara because the bottle was purple. I didn't actually realize that until later, but it's funny how I'm just drawn to purple things.
I'm gonna go ahead and post this... took me forever just to get this far, but I'm gonna try to finish the 100 things soon.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
So as I was saying...
I'm totally smitten with S. I feel so lucky. I feel like this is what I've been waiting for. She is just the cutest little thing to ever creep into my heart.
A few weeks ago, we got a really cheap motel room for the weekend in Fredericksburg, VA. Yeah, we sure did stay at a Days Inn lol. It was a little scary, and I kept getting freaked out that someone was gonna break into our room and murder us, but she kept me calm and reassured me that no one was outside our door at 4am ready to attack us. She even got up in her little underwear to look out the window for me lol.
A few weeks ago, we got a really cheap motel room for the weekend in Fredericksburg, VA. Yeah, we sure did stay at a Days Inn lol. It was a little scary, and I kept getting freaked out that someone was gonna break into our room and murder us, but she kept me calm and reassured me that no one was outside our door at 4am ready to attack us. She even got up in her little underwear to look out the window for me lol. 
We have also started taking every single shower together when we are together lol. I didn't even realize it until this past weekend, but I said 'do you realize that we never take seperate showers now? Not ONE??' haha. She makes shampoo mohawks that make me laugh hysterically and she pinches my nips while my eyes are closed with soap or water and I pinch her butt to make her jump and squirm and smile and we switch back and forth to share the hot water<3. But while we were in the motel room, I heard something and swore up and down that someone was in our room while we were in the shower, and again, she had to save the day and reassure me in her towel that no one was in there lol. 
So during the days on our cheap motel weekend, we spent one day going to the DC Zoo, and the next day going to a Nationals Baseball Game before we headed back home to her house late Sunday night. We had a photo-fest while at the game... all these pics are my favs :)
So during the days on our cheap motel weekend, we spent one day going to the DC Zoo, and the next day going to a Nationals Baseball Game before we headed back home to her house late Sunday night. We had a photo-fest while at the game... all these pics are my favs :)
But my favorite part of that whole weekend was Saturday night. We know nothing about Fredericksburg, and there is really nothing to do there at night, so after a late night shower since we were gross from being at the zoo, we decided to go to Walmart there lol. Oh yeah, we shoooo did go to walmart on our vacay weekend lol. While we were there, we came upon the arts and crafts section (which is of course my favorite section in ANY store lol) and she suggested we get something to take back to the motel room to work on as like an art project. I said... "are you just saying this to try to make me happy?" Or maybe I was thinking that lol... but no... she really wanted to do something artsy. Which FLIPPIN made my day lol. So we decided on getting some puff paint and some canvas bags that you can paint, and said we'd paint the bags for each other. We sat up on the bed for like 3 hours and painted our bags. She was just in a tank top and her underwear... and I kept catching myself just staring at her while she painted. She makes this really cute face when she's concentrating on something, like painting my bag, I can see the little tip of her tongue stick out sometimes and her eyes are big and bright and focused. Whew... just soooo cute.
So our next project was that we took the leftover blank bags home, and we were supposed to paint them for each other and bring them to each other next time we got together (which was 2 weeks later, this past weekend). Buttttt... she couldnt wait that long lol. She has no patience. She made my bag and then HAD to send me a picture of it immediately lol. I wanted to wait and surprise each other, but she wasnt havin it haha. So she sent me a picture... and I almost started crying. It was the cutest thing ever. She drew out our faces right next to each other, put 'K+S' underneath our faces, and put a big red heart around all of it. How precious is that?????? So I had already made plans of what to do with her bag. We already have a lot of inside jokes, so I was going to write out our 'phrases' on her bag. So I did... and it turned out awesome... and she loved it :). and we are definitely planning on using these bags. We are so corny! And I love it!
This past weekend, she introduced me to her family. I had already met her dad, but I also got to meet her sweet Mama, and her sister and neice and nephews. I had a blast with them. They are for realll country folk, live out in the boonies, and we drank beers in the front yard while the kids ran wild, I watched S play basketball with her mom and the others, and she is a baller, she's got some skillz let me tell you (and i laughed to myself as she tried to get me to play with them. I am NOT a sports girl at all lol. I coware when the ball comes near me hahaha) and finished the night off with a bonfire and chairs wrapped around it right next to the woods. It was like a little slice of heaven, totally the life I'd like to have (maybe minus a few kids lol). But it was just great. Her mom is so sweet, and S looks just like her. They both have big pretty blue eyes and the same sweet soft spoken voice :). So cute!
So yeah, things are going really well. I'm aware that we've only been dating for a short time, but wow. I'm just astonished at how well we get along. How there is no fighting, just cuddling. How we can talk about anything. So this is what a normal functioning relationship feels like! I'm a lucky girl :)
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