Well I'm home from my 4 days away with the family. I was up in DC visiting my grandfather who's just been diagnosed with alzheimer's, and also visiting my brand new baby nephew Logan. It was an exhausting and stressful trip.
Logan was born a month early, and his tiny little body is having trouble digesting food, he's jaundice (sp?), so he's not gaining any weight, actually he'd lost a pound by the time we saw him (a week after his birth), and a pound is a lot when you only weigh 6 lbs. We got to see him at home, but as of Tuesday he was back in the hospital. They had him in NICU for 3 days, and he's now doing a lot better, having now gained back 6 ounces. His jaundice is going down, and things are looking good for him, but he'll be kept in the hospital for at least another week to make sure he keeps this up. I'll post some pictures up soon, he's so tiny! And besides all the stuff going on, he's perfect. I've already claimed the 'favorite aunt' title hehe.
My Grandpa (Pappy) isn't doing so well though. It's difficult to even recognize him now. He can't hold a conversation, and often times starts talking about things that make no sense. He's really going downhill fast, and it's been really hard on my Nana. They live in a home, but she is still having to do a lot for him. He's actually staying in the psych ward now, in a different building, and she's having to go over there and do his laundry and take care of him on a daily basis. He's always been a very stubborn man, and now he's very confused and at times it makes him very upset and vicious with everyone. He hates where he's having to stay now, and because of the constant confusion, he thinks he's being punished. It was heartbreaking when we first got there, he was fighting with an orderly, and being very forceful and loud with her, and as soon as he saw us, he walked over to my sister and me, hugged us tightly and burst into tears. He just held us there for a good 2 minutes. I have never seen this man cry in my life. This is just so hard, to see someone who's always been so headstrong, just fading away.
We did have some good times with him though. I'll write more later, and put up some pictures. I just got home, gotta work early and all day tomorrow, and im sooooo tired!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Finally finished.
I finally finished my '100 Things About Me' post, it's right under this one. I'm going to be going outta town for the week. My grandfather's been diagnosed with alzheimers, and the whole family is going to see him while he can still recognize us. Good news though, my stepbrother and his wife just had a baby, and they're in the same town as my Pappy. So it'll be a busy trip, good and bad. I'll be back friday! Tryin to get stuff down around the house before I leave, even though I'm pretty sure it'll be a disaster when I get home. Oh well... whateryagonnadooooo???
Hope everyone has a good week.
Hope everyone has a good week.
100 Things About Me-2009
I don't even know where to start. This will probably be more interesting for me to write than for you to read, but please, proceed anyway! :-)
1. My name is Kelly Marie.
2. My name was chosen by my mom's first husband, when she was 18. She divorced at 19 and married my father when she was 27. She stuck with my name all those years.
3. My parents divorced when I was 10, after 11 unhappy years of marriage. I always hear other people say they're sad their parents divorced, but I couldn't have been happier as a kid to see them split.
4. I have one little sister, Katie. I despised her when we were younger, she annoyed me to the core. But now I see that she was just always looking up to me and trying to be like me. This isn't the case now, but we get along pretty well these days. I'm so happy for this.
5. I'm a big family person, and daydream at least once a day about what it'll be like when I have one of my own.
6. I'm a big homebody. I like the comfort of being in my own area.
7. I can also be very social, but usually only comfortable in groups where I know the majority of the people.
8. I get bad anxiety when I'm around a lot of people I don't know, especially in party settings. I clam up and get very shy. I have gotten a lot better with talking to people I don't know, but that feeling still comes out every now and then.
9. My favorite color is purple.
10. I have a purple purse, purple wallet, and purple phone (to be reactivated tomorrow).
11. I frequently wear black clothing. Not because I'm goth or anything, but because it makes me look thinner.
12. If I see an article of clothing that I like but I don't like the color, I'll buy it anyway and use RIT dye to change the color. I even dyed my down comforter.
13. I love to paint, and decorate. These go hand in hand a lot of the time, I have painted some of my lamp shades, some lamp stands, a table, and various other things around my house.
14. I have big plans for when I actually have a house of my own. My mailbox will either be painted or covered in mosaic tiles, my front porch steps will be covered in mosaic tiles, and I've been planning out some murals and things I want to paint in the house. Every room will have a touch of me.
15. I've been doing hair for 5 years, and although I love what I do, I'm considering a career change. At the rate I'm making money, it'd be years and years before I'm able to simply live comfortably, much less raise a family. I'm very good at what I do, and I work in a beautiful salon, but I struggle with money between every single paycheck. I'm 25 years old, and I feel like I should be making much more money right now.
16. I could probably make more money doing hair at a different salon, one that's primary clientele is walk ins (versus my salon which is primarily appointment based) but I actually think that I am too much of a hair snob to take a step down. I've had extensive training from very experienced people in this industry, and I really think that it would take a huge punch to my ego to move to a lower end salon.
17. Before I started doing hair, I sold insurance. My entire family sells insurance, but at the age of 18, it definitely wasn't on my top list of choice careers. Now that I'm getting older and having to provide for myself, I'm regretting the day I let my insurance license lapse. It's time to grow up and get a big girl job.
18. By 'big girl job,' I'm not at all putting down the hair industry. I love it. Absolutely love it. I've definitely found a niche for myself. But money is pretty parallel to my survival!
19. Romantically, I'm completely hopeless. I've had 2 bad relationship in the past 5 years, and I long to just find someone to settle down with and come home to.
20. Since I was about 19, I've identified myself as being a lesbian. I have had mindful slip ups a couple of times, wondering if maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong place, but they are always thoughts that are very short lived. I know who I am, and I know I love women, inside and out.
21. When I was younger, I was more free with myself and my love life, but I've gotten much more conservative with myself and my sexual behavior through the years. I don't enjoy emotionless sex anymore, it's just not worth it to me these days. I'd much rather wait until there's something there, something worth celebrating.
22. And having said that! Let me say this. I love sex and everything about it. I think a good sexual appetite is healthy and a part of a normal healthy life, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I'm just more protective of my hoo-hoo these days. Or maybe it's that I'm more protective of my heart.
23. I've been living in the same town that I grew up in, all my life, and as of this year, I no longer talk to one person that I went to high school with. For the most part, I was never a fan of the kids I went to school with. I went to the 'rich' high school, with a lot of snobby and mean kids, and there were a lot of drugs. I never felt that I fit in, and grew up thinking I wasn't good enough because I didn't fit in with these kids. High school was the worst 4 years of my life.
24. To be completely honest, I sometimes still get that old feeling back of thinking I'm not 'cool' or good enough. It all stems from where I grew up. But I then remind myself that I've made completely new friends and lasting friendships based on who I am now. But there's still that feeling sometimes when I meet someone new, that shy feeling of wondering if they'll think I'm worth their time.
25. Despite that feeling, I'm confident in myself in a lot of things, and it apparently shows. A good friend of mine told me this a couple months ago, that she wishes she were as confident as I am. I was completely surprised when she said this.
26. I'm very close with my mom, and if it weren't for her, I'd much more seriously consider moving away from this city.
27. I think about moving away a lot. Financially, it'd be in impossibility right now. But I would like to at some point.
28. I'm not very close with my dad, but the one thing I did get from him is our taste in music. He raised me on classic rock, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
29. The Beatles were the all time favorite, and my sister and I are going to be getting tattoos for it. They're meant to be 'sister' tattoos. Hers will say "All You Need Is Love," and mine will say "Love Is All You Need." These will both probably be on our lower backs. We're trying to talk my dad into paying for them, but it's going to take some more coaxing. He's not totally exited about tattoos haha.
30. I'm only to number 30, and I need a break. I'm gonna do some painting. One of my favorite movies is Across the Universe, and I just turned it on when the 'strawberry fields forever' scene was playing. He's flinging paint all over the room during this song, and it always makes me wanna paint. Will return and finish this later!
31. I totally and completely believe in karma.
32. I was raised Christian, but don't agree with it. To be honest, I never have. I hated going to church when I was young. In my teenage years, I went just for the purpose of making friends, and I even kissed my first boy in church. After high school, I joined the music team at our church, just so that I could sing on stage, not for the purpose of praising God. It was never about that for me. I don't go to church anymore, except on Christmas, just out of respect for my mother, and for the sake of tradition.
33. I don't agree with organized religion. For the most part, the people that I've come into contact with who claim to be devout Christians are the people who end up excusing themselves from punishment for less than respectable behavior.
34. I think that life is about being a good person, no matter what your faith. This is where karma comes into play.
35. I get emotional over silly things, and stay pretty calm during actual big things. For instance, I cry sometimes when people win things on The Price Is Right. I get so excited I guess, just to see other people that happy and excited. No, I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this up if I tried. On the other hand, when my grandma passed away, I was really calm and collected when my uncle told me the news. I was a mess at the funeral, but it took a few days for it to sink in, and for me to shed the tears.
36. Back to the religion issue, I see myself being much more spiritual than religious. To me, it's something very personal. I feel overwhelmed and thankful for my life here when I feel at one with nature, if that makes any sense. All I need is a sunny day on the beach listening to the sound of the waves, or to see a rainbow, or feel the breeze through my hair, and I'm all set. I can just look up at whatever's up there, if there is something up there, and feel nothing but beautiful and lucky and healthy.
37. I'll use this number... because it's sort of my lucky number. My lucky number is actually 137. Yes, i know it's odd, and the story behind it is kinda funny. It was my first school bus number when I was in first through third grade. My bus driver, Ms. Pat, had a full stereo system installed in the bus, and would blast music the whole way home everyday. We all had so much fun on that bus, and the number has just always stuck with me. Whenever I happen to look at the clock and it says 1:37, chances are I'm having a great day.
38. I have a habit of starting books and not finishing them. Right now I've got 3 books open.
39. I absolutely hate doing laundry. I can do any kind of chore around the house with a smile on my face, but just not laundry.
40. I can't walk in high heels. I look ridiculous, and usually end up tripping on something.
41. I'm totally unorganized with money. As a hairstylist, I get cash tips handed to me often, and usually just stuff them in my pocket. While I was just doing the dreaded laundry, I found $40 in the dryer.
42. I absolutely hate any kind of clicking, beeping, or any other kind of annoying noises. Repetitive noises are like nails on a chalkboard to me. It's become an ongoing joke in my salon, and my coworkers will click pens or tap the front desk in an effort to get a rise out of me. I literally flip out and I can't even help it. haha.
43. It has come to my recent attention that when something annoys me, the noises or otherwise, I immediately say 'STOP IT!' in a tone that is about an octive higher than my normal voice. I was never actually aware that I did this on a regular basis, until we were playing a drinking game at the neighbor's house. We were playing drunken jenga (my friend and I wrote funny drinking game things on each piece of the jenga game, and you have to pull one piece out, complete the task, and then stack it on top, like regular jenga) and one of the pegs she pulled said 'impersonate the person to your left'. I was to her left, and she immediately started screaming 'STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!' really loud and high pitched. I looked at her like... huh? and of course everyone started laughing, because it was completely accurate.
44. I love tomatoes, but hate red sauce.
45. I love cooking, but hate going to the grocery store.
46. Actually I hate any type of shopping. If I could do all my shopping online I would be a happy girl.
47. I especially hate going to the mall. I hate the crowds, and all the fluorescent lighting, I get an instant headache anytime I go in there.
48. I can be a procrastinator. Probably why this post is taking me so long to complete, even though I know I want to.
49. I have a guitar, but don't know how to play it.
50. I did ballet for eight years when I was younger. My biggest regret in life is quitting. I was always the youngest girl in all my classes, was very advanced for my age. But when my parents got divorced, we moved to the other side of the city so my mom couldn't drive me to my ballet academy as often as I had been going, so I had to try to find another academy near me. Even at 12 years old, I was too advanced for any school that my mom gave me the option of going to, so I quit. I wish I had just stuck with it until I was old enough to drive myself to the good school. My teachers at the good school had danced in ballet's all over Europe, and were from Italy. Nothing like anything you'd find here.
51. I also used to play the piano when I was younger. But I quit that because my piano teacher was a creepy old lady that lived in our neighborhood. I hated going to her house for lessons. I would like to start playing again though.
52. When I was in middle school, the movie "Titanic" had just come out and was really big. I was in the chorus and of course, we sang the Titanic song. I played the piano for the song while the chorus sang it. I know how to read music, but when I'm playing a song, I play it from memory. I'll only check in with the actual music on front of me if I'm still learning the song, but I never follow it note for note. We performed this 3 times during school hours for the different grades, and then the big performance was at night.
53. During the big performance at night, the auditorium was completely filled with all of our parents and friends that decided to come. My hands were a little shaky, and in the middle of the song, I forgot where I was in the song. I completely froze, and the whole chorus turned around to stare at me along with the whole auditorium of people. I had to flip through pages of music to figure out where I was while the whole room was silent and staring at me. Finally found my place about 30 seconds later (it felt like an hour) and finished the song out. We got a standing ovation hahaha.
54. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's the big holiday in my family for us all to get together. Everyone in my family can cook, and we all pitch in. It's always the absolute best meal of the year.
55. I was a vegetarian for a year. I quit when Thanksgiving came around. Maybe I'm weak, or maybe our turkeys are always just that good.
56. I want to become a vegetarian again. Thanksgiving is only a couple months away. I've cut out red meat, I'll cut out poultry after. :-)
57. If I wasn't a hairstylist, I'd probably never do my hair.
58. I like my hair to be curly and messy and even a little frizzy sometimes. Very anti-hairstylist. I'd never style any of my clients to have hair like mine haha. Everyone wants their hair to be straight and smooth. I think that's boring, on me anyway.
59. I like big jewelry. The dainty stuff was never for me.
60. I'd rather have jewelry that's big and fake, rather than small and 'real'. I'd be happy with cubic zurconia for my engagement ring, as long as it's my style. Or actually... I want a big ole' amethyst lol.
61. I don't like spiders, but I love snakes.
62. I saw the second Lord of the Rings movie before I saw the first.
63. I'd wear flip flops everyday if I could.
64. I'm not a sweets person. I really have to be in the mood for something sweet.
65. My weakness is pasta with any kind of cream sauce. MMMMmmmmm...
66. I very rarely follow trends in clothing. I especially hate those shoes that are 'in' right now. The flat ones with the straps that go up around your ankle. I don't think they're flattering on anyone.
67. I value my alone time. I may have already said something like this, but there's no one in my house today and I'm totally loving it.
68. My maternal grandfather's just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've never been close with him. I don't get emotional about it until I see my mom get emotional about it, then my heart aches. I hate to see that woman hurting.
69. I'm not a fan of video games. I think people should spend more time outside, or with an actual hobby, like they used to way back when. I hate that my 33 year old roommate and neighbor sit in the house all day and play video games. there are days when they'll only leave the house to get a new video game.
70. As of 9-8-09, I'm an auntie for the first time. My step brother and his wife just had a beautiful baby boy, Logan David. I get to go see him tomorrow.
71. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It sometimes takes a while for people to get used to. One of my exes said that for the first month we knew each other, she thought I was just a major bitch, rather than a total softy with a slick sense of humor.
72. I used to want to go to nursing school, but I don't think I could handle it. I can handle blood and all that, but the site of broken bones literally makes me weak and nauseous. I also don't think I could deal with seeing people die right in front of me.
73. I love the smell of haircolor (well the kind we use at our salon anyway). I love how I can smell it all day after I get my hair colored.
74. I'd much rather be freezing than too hot. I absolutely hate sweating, it makes me feel disgusting. Unless I'm working out, that's different. You know what I mean.
75. But! only because there's an exception to every rule, I love going in saunas (as long as there's a cool pool or shower to jump into after). But after all is said and done, my skin always feels so clean after sitting in a sauna, cuz it purges all the impurities from your pores. Love it.
76. I hate it when my skin doesn't feel super smooth on my face. I scrub my skin with one of those shower gloves everyday to get the dead skin off. Even if I miss one day of doing this, my skin feels gross to me.
77. I was always the only person I knew that hated sweet tea, so I always just thought that I hated tea. For the first time, I tried unsweetened tea about a 6 months ago, and now it's my favorite drink. Turns out I just hated how sweet it was haha.
78. I hate ketchup by itself, but I love ketchup and mayo mixed together. This is the best dipping sauce for anything that you'd normally just dip in ketchup.
79. I'm a very touchy feely and affectionate person. I love touching and giving hugs to everyone and cuddling with those I'm close with. I even hug a lot of my clients. My boss is the same way. He always says he has to get in 10 hugs a day.
80. I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" and realized that 'physical touch' and 'quality time' are the two biggest ways that I feel loved and give love to others.
81. I'm a taurus, and my sign is pretty much dead on accurate with who I am.
82. Whenever I start dating someone, I find out what their sign is, and go to Astrologyzone.com to see if we're compatible. So far, that site has also been dead on accurate. My last three exes were geminis (who I'm supposed to not be compatible with) and that site pretty much told me all the reasons why we wouldn't work out as a couple. It was exactly those reasons why we didn't work. I haven't always believed in astrology, I mean it's silly if you think about it, but yeah, I'm listenin now.
83. I have a strong need to feel self sufficient, but also a need to feel taken care of when I'm in a relationship.
84. My year! I was born in 1984.
85. My favorite man in the whole world is Bailey, my old man cat. I've had him since I was 10.
86. I'm definitely a cat person. I like dogs too, but would prefer to always have cats around. I just love their attitudes and quirkiness, and they also smell 10 times better. I love the smell of cat breath. If I end up not marrying (highly doubt this, but still) I'll probably be one of those crazy cat ladies with like 12 cats. lol.
87. The sound of a cat purring always calms me down, especially if i'm cuddling with the kitty and I can actually feel the purr. One of my simple joys in life.
88. I'm not into sports or athletics, but I love going to football and baseball games. I just love the atmosphere and being with that many people cheering something on. So much fun. But I'll never be able to actually follow a game haha.
89. When I started hair school, my hair was halfway down my back. When I got out of hairschool, it was up near my chin. If you want to keep your long hair, don't go to hair school. This scenario happened to EVERY SINGLE girl in there. Not one girl got out with long hair.
90. When it comes to politics, I'm very liberal when it comes to social issues. Extremely liberal with social issues. But I also truly believe that everyone should have to work for what they have or want. I'm 25, broke as shit, and seriously struggling with money, but you'll never see me take a 'hand out' from the government. It's way too abused in this country.
91. I definitely believe in abortion, and think that it's the right thing to do in some cases. I had one when I was 18, and it was the best decision I ever made. It definitely was difficult to deal with, but I wouldn't change that decision.
92. I know I want kids, but this world we live in scares me to have to raise kids in. I know I'll be a strict parent, and now that I'm older, I understand why my mom was strict as well.
93. I love to knit, but all i know how to do are scarves lol. yep, just the one straight line.
94. I'm obsessed with sudoku.
95. My big dream in life is to own my own coffee shop. I have the whole place planned out in my head, how it will look and such. I know i'll also want acoustic live music played in there often, and to have one big wall where local artists can display their work. Just a couple ideas I have for it.
96. I really like to spread out when I sleep. If I sleep in the same bed with you, we must be pretty close. This isn't because I'm stingy about who I sleep next to, it's because there's a good chance you'll have one of my arms or legs on top of you by morning.
97. I like my room to be really cool when I sleep. That way I can cuddle up in my big comforter. I have a fan on year-round, I don't care how cool it is outside.
98. I also don't wear any clothes to bed. I must move around a lot when I sleep because if I'm wearing clothes, I wake up with them all twisted around me and tight. I hate that. So if I'm sleeping next to someone I can't be naked around, chances are I'll wake up a few times during the night to have to situate my clothing.
99. I hate the song 99 red balloons. Or at least one version of it that has this girl singing with a really high pitched voice. It's not the original, but it sometimes plays in the salon and I cringe every time and tell our receptionist to go to the next song. ick.
100!!!! Wow I made it. I actually finished this. It only took 4 separate sittings to do it. I'll have to make this last one a real humdinger. Ok here goes: I have really big boobs but really small nipples. hahaha. Apparently, they're pretty hot. My last ex actually even asked me if I'd show my boobs to her sister who is also gay, just because she was so impressed with them. Yay me.
1. My name is Kelly Marie.
2. My name was chosen by my mom's first husband, when she was 18. She divorced at 19 and married my father when she was 27. She stuck with my name all those years.
3. My parents divorced when I was 10, after 11 unhappy years of marriage. I always hear other people say they're sad their parents divorced, but I couldn't have been happier as a kid to see them split.
4. I have one little sister, Katie. I despised her when we were younger, she annoyed me to the core. But now I see that she was just always looking up to me and trying to be like me. This isn't the case now, but we get along pretty well these days. I'm so happy for this.
5. I'm a big family person, and daydream at least once a day about what it'll be like when I have one of my own.
6. I'm a big homebody. I like the comfort of being in my own area.
7. I can also be very social, but usually only comfortable in groups where I know the majority of the people.
8. I get bad anxiety when I'm around a lot of people I don't know, especially in party settings. I clam up and get very shy. I have gotten a lot better with talking to people I don't know, but that feeling still comes out every now and then.
9. My favorite color is purple.
10. I have a purple purse, purple wallet, and purple phone (to be reactivated tomorrow).
11. I frequently wear black clothing. Not because I'm goth or anything, but because it makes me look thinner.
12. If I see an article of clothing that I like but I don't like the color, I'll buy it anyway and use RIT dye to change the color. I even dyed my down comforter.
13. I love to paint, and decorate. These go hand in hand a lot of the time, I have painted some of my lamp shades, some lamp stands, a table, and various other things around my house.
14. I have big plans for when I actually have a house of my own. My mailbox will either be painted or covered in mosaic tiles, my front porch steps will be covered in mosaic tiles, and I've been planning out some murals and things I want to paint in the house. Every room will have a touch of me.
15. I've been doing hair for 5 years, and although I love what I do, I'm considering a career change. At the rate I'm making money, it'd be years and years before I'm able to simply live comfortably, much less raise a family. I'm very good at what I do, and I work in a beautiful salon, but I struggle with money between every single paycheck. I'm 25 years old, and I feel like I should be making much more money right now.
16. I could probably make more money doing hair at a different salon, one that's primary clientele is walk ins (versus my salon which is primarily appointment based) but I actually think that I am too much of a hair snob to take a step down. I've had extensive training from very experienced people in this industry, and I really think that it would take a huge punch to my ego to move to a lower end salon.
17. Before I started doing hair, I sold insurance. My entire family sells insurance, but at the age of 18, it definitely wasn't on my top list of choice careers. Now that I'm getting older and having to provide for myself, I'm regretting the day I let my insurance license lapse. It's time to grow up and get a big girl job.
18. By 'big girl job,' I'm not at all putting down the hair industry. I love it. Absolutely love it. I've definitely found a niche for myself. But money is pretty parallel to my survival!
19. Romantically, I'm completely hopeless. I've had 2 bad relationship in the past 5 years, and I long to just find someone to settle down with and come home to.
20. Since I was about 19, I've identified myself as being a lesbian. I have had mindful slip ups a couple of times, wondering if maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong place, but they are always thoughts that are very short lived. I know who I am, and I know I love women, inside and out.
21. When I was younger, I was more free with myself and my love life, but I've gotten much more conservative with myself and my sexual behavior through the years. I don't enjoy emotionless sex anymore, it's just not worth it to me these days. I'd much rather wait until there's something there, something worth celebrating.
22. And having said that! Let me say this. I love sex and everything about it. I think a good sexual appetite is healthy and a part of a normal healthy life, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I'm just more protective of my hoo-hoo these days. Or maybe it's that I'm more protective of my heart.
23. I've been living in the same town that I grew up in, all my life, and as of this year, I no longer talk to one person that I went to high school with. For the most part, I was never a fan of the kids I went to school with. I went to the 'rich' high school, with a lot of snobby and mean kids, and there were a lot of drugs. I never felt that I fit in, and grew up thinking I wasn't good enough because I didn't fit in with these kids. High school was the worst 4 years of my life.
24. To be completely honest, I sometimes still get that old feeling back of thinking I'm not 'cool' or good enough. It all stems from where I grew up. But I then remind myself that I've made completely new friends and lasting friendships based on who I am now. But there's still that feeling sometimes when I meet someone new, that shy feeling of wondering if they'll think I'm worth their time.
25. Despite that feeling, I'm confident in myself in a lot of things, and it apparently shows. A good friend of mine told me this a couple months ago, that she wishes she were as confident as I am. I was completely surprised when she said this.
26. I'm very close with my mom, and if it weren't for her, I'd much more seriously consider moving away from this city.
27. I think about moving away a lot. Financially, it'd be in impossibility right now. But I would like to at some point.
28. I'm not very close with my dad, but the one thing I did get from him is our taste in music. He raised me on classic rock, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
29. The Beatles were the all time favorite, and my sister and I are going to be getting tattoos for it. They're meant to be 'sister' tattoos. Hers will say "All You Need Is Love," and mine will say "Love Is All You Need." These will both probably be on our lower backs. We're trying to talk my dad into paying for them, but it's going to take some more coaxing. He's not totally exited about tattoos haha.
30. I'm only to number 30, and I need a break. I'm gonna do some painting. One of my favorite movies is Across the Universe, and I just turned it on when the 'strawberry fields forever' scene was playing. He's flinging paint all over the room during this song, and it always makes me wanna paint. Will return and finish this later!
31. I totally and completely believe in karma.
32. I was raised Christian, but don't agree with it. To be honest, I never have. I hated going to church when I was young. In my teenage years, I went just for the purpose of making friends, and I even kissed my first boy in church. After high school, I joined the music team at our church, just so that I could sing on stage, not for the purpose of praising God. It was never about that for me. I don't go to church anymore, except on Christmas, just out of respect for my mother, and for the sake of tradition.
33. I don't agree with organized religion. For the most part, the people that I've come into contact with who claim to be devout Christians are the people who end up excusing themselves from punishment for less than respectable behavior.
34. I think that life is about being a good person, no matter what your faith. This is where karma comes into play.
35. I get emotional over silly things, and stay pretty calm during actual big things. For instance, I cry sometimes when people win things on The Price Is Right. I get so excited I guess, just to see other people that happy and excited. No, I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this up if I tried. On the other hand, when my grandma passed away, I was really calm and collected when my uncle told me the news. I was a mess at the funeral, but it took a few days for it to sink in, and for me to shed the tears.
36. Back to the religion issue, I see myself being much more spiritual than religious. To me, it's something very personal. I feel overwhelmed and thankful for my life here when I feel at one with nature, if that makes any sense. All I need is a sunny day on the beach listening to the sound of the waves, or to see a rainbow, or feel the breeze through my hair, and I'm all set. I can just look up at whatever's up there, if there is something up there, and feel nothing but beautiful and lucky and healthy.
37. I'll use this number... because it's sort of my lucky number. My lucky number is actually 137. Yes, i know it's odd, and the story behind it is kinda funny. It was my first school bus number when I was in first through third grade. My bus driver, Ms. Pat, had a full stereo system installed in the bus, and would blast music the whole way home everyday. We all had so much fun on that bus, and the number has just always stuck with me. Whenever I happen to look at the clock and it says 1:37, chances are I'm having a great day.
38. I have a habit of starting books and not finishing them. Right now I've got 3 books open.
39. I absolutely hate doing laundry. I can do any kind of chore around the house with a smile on my face, but just not laundry.
40. I can't walk in high heels. I look ridiculous, and usually end up tripping on something.
41. I'm totally unorganized with money. As a hairstylist, I get cash tips handed to me often, and usually just stuff them in my pocket. While I was just doing the dreaded laundry, I found $40 in the dryer.
42. I absolutely hate any kind of clicking, beeping, or any other kind of annoying noises. Repetitive noises are like nails on a chalkboard to me. It's become an ongoing joke in my salon, and my coworkers will click pens or tap the front desk in an effort to get a rise out of me. I literally flip out and I can't even help it. haha.
43. It has come to my recent attention that when something annoys me, the noises or otherwise, I immediately say 'STOP IT!' in a tone that is about an octive higher than my normal voice. I was never actually aware that I did this on a regular basis, until we were playing a drinking game at the neighbor's house. We were playing drunken jenga (my friend and I wrote funny drinking game things on each piece of the jenga game, and you have to pull one piece out, complete the task, and then stack it on top, like regular jenga) and one of the pegs she pulled said 'impersonate the person to your left'. I was to her left, and she immediately started screaming 'STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!' really loud and high pitched. I looked at her like... huh? and of course everyone started laughing, because it was completely accurate.
44. I love tomatoes, but hate red sauce.
45. I love cooking, but hate going to the grocery store.
46. Actually I hate any type of shopping. If I could do all my shopping online I would be a happy girl.
47. I especially hate going to the mall. I hate the crowds, and all the fluorescent lighting, I get an instant headache anytime I go in there.
48. I can be a procrastinator. Probably why this post is taking me so long to complete, even though I know I want to.
49. I have a guitar, but don't know how to play it.
50. I did ballet for eight years when I was younger. My biggest regret in life is quitting. I was always the youngest girl in all my classes, was very advanced for my age. But when my parents got divorced, we moved to the other side of the city so my mom couldn't drive me to my ballet academy as often as I had been going, so I had to try to find another academy near me. Even at 12 years old, I was too advanced for any school that my mom gave me the option of going to, so I quit. I wish I had just stuck with it until I was old enough to drive myself to the good school. My teachers at the good school had danced in ballet's all over Europe, and were from Italy. Nothing like anything you'd find here.
51. I also used to play the piano when I was younger. But I quit that because my piano teacher was a creepy old lady that lived in our neighborhood. I hated going to her house for lessons. I would like to start playing again though.
52. When I was in middle school, the movie "Titanic" had just come out and was really big. I was in the chorus and of course, we sang the Titanic song. I played the piano for the song while the chorus sang it. I know how to read music, but when I'm playing a song, I play it from memory. I'll only check in with the actual music on front of me if I'm still learning the song, but I never follow it note for note. We performed this 3 times during school hours for the different grades, and then the big performance was at night.
53. During the big performance at night, the auditorium was completely filled with all of our parents and friends that decided to come. My hands were a little shaky, and in the middle of the song, I forgot where I was in the song. I completely froze, and the whole chorus turned around to stare at me along with the whole auditorium of people. I had to flip through pages of music to figure out where I was while the whole room was silent and staring at me. Finally found my place about 30 seconds later (it felt like an hour) and finished the song out. We got a standing ovation hahaha.
54. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's the big holiday in my family for us all to get together. Everyone in my family can cook, and we all pitch in. It's always the absolute best meal of the year.
55. I was a vegetarian for a year. I quit when Thanksgiving came around. Maybe I'm weak, or maybe our turkeys are always just that good.
56. I want to become a vegetarian again. Thanksgiving is only a couple months away. I've cut out red meat, I'll cut out poultry after. :-)
57. If I wasn't a hairstylist, I'd probably never do my hair.
58. I like my hair to be curly and messy and even a little frizzy sometimes. Very anti-hairstylist. I'd never style any of my clients to have hair like mine haha. Everyone wants their hair to be straight and smooth. I think that's boring, on me anyway.
59. I like big jewelry. The dainty stuff was never for me.
60. I'd rather have jewelry that's big and fake, rather than small and 'real'. I'd be happy with cubic zurconia for my engagement ring, as long as it's my style. Or actually... I want a big ole' amethyst lol.
61. I don't like spiders, but I love snakes.
62. I saw the second Lord of the Rings movie before I saw the first.
63. I'd wear flip flops everyday if I could.
64. I'm not a sweets person. I really have to be in the mood for something sweet.
65. My weakness is pasta with any kind of cream sauce. MMMMmmmmm...
66. I very rarely follow trends in clothing. I especially hate those shoes that are 'in' right now. The flat ones with the straps that go up around your ankle. I don't think they're flattering on anyone.
67. I value my alone time. I may have already said something like this, but there's no one in my house today and I'm totally loving it.
68. My maternal grandfather's just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've never been close with him. I don't get emotional about it until I see my mom get emotional about it, then my heart aches. I hate to see that woman hurting.
69. I'm not a fan of video games. I think people should spend more time outside, or with an actual hobby, like they used to way back when. I hate that my 33 year old roommate and neighbor sit in the house all day and play video games. there are days when they'll only leave the house to get a new video game.
70. As of 9-8-09, I'm an auntie for the first time. My step brother and his wife just had a beautiful baby boy, Logan David. I get to go see him tomorrow.
71. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It sometimes takes a while for people to get used to. One of my exes said that for the first month we knew each other, she thought I was just a major bitch, rather than a total softy with a slick sense of humor.
72. I used to want to go to nursing school, but I don't think I could handle it. I can handle blood and all that, but the site of broken bones literally makes me weak and nauseous. I also don't think I could deal with seeing people die right in front of me.
73. I love the smell of haircolor (well the kind we use at our salon anyway). I love how I can smell it all day after I get my hair colored.
74. I'd much rather be freezing than too hot. I absolutely hate sweating, it makes me feel disgusting. Unless I'm working out, that's different. You know what I mean.
75. But! only because there's an exception to every rule, I love going in saunas (as long as there's a cool pool or shower to jump into after). But after all is said and done, my skin always feels so clean after sitting in a sauna, cuz it purges all the impurities from your pores. Love it.
76. I hate it when my skin doesn't feel super smooth on my face. I scrub my skin with one of those shower gloves everyday to get the dead skin off. Even if I miss one day of doing this, my skin feels gross to me.
77. I was always the only person I knew that hated sweet tea, so I always just thought that I hated tea. For the first time, I tried unsweetened tea about a 6 months ago, and now it's my favorite drink. Turns out I just hated how sweet it was haha.
78. I hate ketchup by itself, but I love ketchup and mayo mixed together. This is the best dipping sauce for anything that you'd normally just dip in ketchup.
79. I'm a very touchy feely and affectionate person. I love touching and giving hugs to everyone and cuddling with those I'm close with. I even hug a lot of my clients. My boss is the same way. He always says he has to get in 10 hugs a day.
80. I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" and realized that 'physical touch' and 'quality time' are the two biggest ways that I feel loved and give love to others.
81. I'm a taurus, and my sign is pretty much dead on accurate with who I am.
82. Whenever I start dating someone, I find out what their sign is, and go to Astrologyzone.com to see if we're compatible. So far, that site has also been dead on accurate. My last three exes were geminis (who I'm supposed to not be compatible with) and that site pretty much told me all the reasons why we wouldn't work out as a couple. It was exactly those reasons why we didn't work. I haven't always believed in astrology, I mean it's silly if you think about it, but yeah, I'm listenin now.
83. I have a strong need to feel self sufficient, but also a need to feel taken care of when I'm in a relationship.
84. My year! I was born in 1984.
85. My favorite man in the whole world is Bailey, my old man cat. I've had him since I was 10.
86. I'm definitely a cat person. I like dogs too, but would prefer to always have cats around. I just love their attitudes and quirkiness, and they also smell 10 times better. I love the smell of cat breath. If I end up not marrying (highly doubt this, but still) I'll probably be one of those crazy cat ladies with like 12 cats. lol.
87. The sound of a cat purring always calms me down, especially if i'm cuddling with the kitty and I can actually feel the purr. One of my simple joys in life.
88. I'm not into sports or athletics, but I love going to football and baseball games. I just love the atmosphere and being with that many people cheering something on. So much fun. But I'll never be able to actually follow a game haha.
89. When I started hair school, my hair was halfway down my back. When I got out of hairschool, it was up near my chin. If you want to keep your long hair, don't go to hair school. This scenario happened to EVERY SINGLE girl in there. Not one girl got out with long hair.
90. When it comes to politics, I'm very liberal when it comes to social issues. Extremely liberal with social issues. But I also truly believe that everyone should have to work for what they have or want. I'm 25, broke as shit, and seriously struggling with money, but you'll never see me take a 'hand out' from the government. It's way too abused in this country.
91. I definitely believe in abortion, and think that it's the right thing to do in some cases. I had one when I was 18, and it was the best decision I ever made. It definitely was difficult to deal with, but I wouldn't change that decision.
92. I know I want kids, but this world we live in scares me to have to raise kids in. I know I'll be a strict parent, and now that I'm older, I understand why my mom was strict as well.
93. I love to knit, but all i know how to do are scarves lol. yep, just the one straight line.
94. I'm obsessed with sudoku.
95. My big dream in life is to own my own coffee shop. I have the whole place planned out in my head, how it will look and such. I know i'll also want acoustic live music played in there often, and to have one big wall where local artists can display their work. Just a couple ideas I have for it.
96. I really like to spread out when I sleep. If I sleep in the same bed with you, we must be pretty close. This isn't because I'm stingy about who I sleep next to, it's because there's a good chance you'll have one of my arms or legs on top of you by morning.
97. I like my room to be really cool when I sleep. That way I can cuddle up in my big comforter. I have a fan on year-round, I don't care how cool it is outside.
98. I also don't wear any clothes to bed. I must move around a lot when I sleep because if I'm wearing clothes, I wake up with them all twisted around me and tight. I hate that. So if I'm sleeping next to someone I can't be naked around, chances are I'll wake up a few times during the night to have to situate my clothing.
99. I hate the song 99 red balloons. Or at least one version of it that has this girl singing with a really high pitched voice. It's not the original, but it sometimes plays in the salon and I cringe every time and tell our receptionist to go to the next song. ick.
100!!!! Wow I made it. I actually finished this. It only took 4 separate sittings to do it. I'll have to make this last one a real humdinger. Ok here goes: I have really big boobs but really small nipples. hahaha. Apparently, they're pretty hot. My last ex actually even asked me if I'd show my boobs to her sister who is also gay, just because she was so impressed with them. Yay me.
Monday, September 7, 2009
bad season for phones.
So I took my neighbor with me to a bbq yesterday. She has an 11 month old baby boy. He's an absolutely adorable handful. His favorite things ever are cell phones. If he sees you using your cellphone, he will drop whatever it is that he's doing, and lunge for the phone.
I have had some trouble with phones in the recent past. I had gotten a new phone back in March. It's purple, which was the main reason I got it. I have a small obsession with purple. Anyway, on the 4th of July, I took it for a swim with me in the ocean by accident. I always put my phone in my bra, and I had put it in my bathing suit that day. Totally forgot about it, and it went under one wave before I realized I had it on me. It would still turn on, but none of the buttons would work. I had to let it sit out and dry out for weeks. I had lost the phone that I used before, so my mom gave me one of her old phones to use for the time being. I later found my old phone, turned it back on. I've been using that for the past couple months. I recently tried to turn on the purple phone, and it works again, buttons and all. I tried reactivating it online but it said I had to call, in which I sat on hold for long enough that I felt like I was gonna go crazy so I hung up. Well, yesterday at the cookout, little Austin, the baby boy, grabbed my phone out of my hand while I was holding him, played with it for a minute, and then proceeded to throw it straight down onto the concrete patio we were sitting on. It's a flip phone, and he threw it down perfectly open and face down, so it smashed it into two pieces. Guess it's time to sit on hold again to turn on the purple one! His mommy put it back together, and all works except I can't hear a thing while on the phone, just sounds like dead air. Texting is fine though. But still. Wish me luck on not going crazy waiting on hold with verizon.
I have had some trouble with phones in the recent past. I had gotten a new phone back in March. It's purple, which was the main reason I got it. I have a small obsession with purple. Anyway, on the 4th of July, I took it for a swim with me in the ocean by accident. I always put my phone in my bra, and I had put it in my bathing suit that day. Totally forgot about it, and it went under one wave before I realized I had it on me. It would still turn on, but none of the buttons would work. I had to let it sit out and dry out for weeks. I had lost the phone that I used before, so my mom gave me one of her old phones to use for the time being. I later found my old phone, turned it back on. I've been using that for the past couple months. I recently tried to turn on the purple phone, and it works again, buttons and all. I tried reactivating it online but it said I had to call, in which I sat on hold for long enough that I felt like I was gonna go crazy so I hung up. Well, yesterday at the cookout, little Austin, the baby boy, grabbed my phone out of my hand while I was holding him, played with it for a minute, and then proceeded to throw it straight down onto the concrete patio we were sitting on. It's a flip phone, and he threw it down perfectly open and face down, so it smashed it into two pieces. Guess it's time to sit on hold again to turn on the purple one! His mommy put it back together, and all works except I can't hear a thing while on the phone, just sounds like dead air. Texting is fine though. But still. Wish me luck on not going crazy waiting on hold with verizon.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Sunday Funday
My neighbor and I are going to a friend's BBQ today. I'm really looking foward to it, anything to get out of this house. I just can't stand to be around my roommate lately.
Ok so we had talked everything out and said that I would stay here, but now I actually just want to move. While his wife was here, he had said how happy he was and how much he wanted things to work with them, and that he would do anything to make it work. (sidenote: his wife has been on deployment in Afghanistan since January, a month after she left, she started dating someone else, told my roommate that he was free to see other people. They both took full advantage of this, 'dated' quite a few people. She came home for a mid-deployment break for two weeks, they 'worked things out' and said that they could start over, but that she wanted to live on her own for a while when she does get home from deployment for good, but that they could see each other on the weekends. Don't ask.) Two days after she's gone back on her deployment, I see him showing our 'couch roommate' (he's going through a divorce, sleeps on our couch a lot) a picture of this girl Charlotte. Charlotte is a friend of another one of our neighbors. She's come to a couple parties we had near the beginning of the summer. Everyone knows her to be.. well... easy. I asked why is he talking about her, and he says he's gonna take her out on a date. This is 2 days after his wife has just left. I don't understand these people. I'm literally disgusted with all of the infidelity.
I have never been around people like this in my life. It's literally like a completely different world that they live in. No morals. No regrets. No feeling bad about anything. I was raised to have strong morals, and when I do get married some day, it'll be the real deal. It just makes me so mad that this is the 'marriage' that this country is protecting. I'm so sick of being around it. I need to get out of here! It's really just putting a damper on me on a daily basis, and I can't stand to be feeling this negative and bitter all the time. Maybe I am taking it too personally, but I just can't help it. It's right in my face everyday.
So my neighbor and I are talking about moving together, getting a bigger place. We've been close friends for a while, and we're both just tired of the bullshit around here. This place used to be so nice!
I hate that I feel like I'm always complaining about something on this blog. I guess it's just an outlet right now.
Definitely looking foward to the bbq today, most of my coworkers will be there, and I always have a great time with them. yay!
Ok so we had talked everything out and said that I would stay here, but now I actually just want to move. While his wife was here, he had said how happy he was and how much he wanted things to work with them, and that he would do anything to make it work. (sidenote: his wife has been on deployment in Afghanistan since January, a month after she left, she started dating someone else, told my roommate that he was free to see other people. They both took full advantage of this, 'dated' quite a few people. She came home for a mid-deployment break for two weeks, they 'worked things out' and said that they could start over, but that she wanted to live on her own for a while when she does get home from deployment for good, but that they could see each other on the weekends. Don't ask.) Two days after she's gone back on her deployment, I see him showing our 'couch roommate' (he's going through a divorce, sleeps on our couch a lot) a picture of this girl Charlotte. Charlotte is a friend of another one of our neighbors. She's come to a couple parties we had near the beginning of the summer. Everyone knows her to be.. well... easy. I asked why is he talking about her, and he says he's gonna take her out on a date. This is 2 days after his wife has just left. I don't understand these people. I'm literally disgusted with all of the infidelity.
I have never been around people like this in my life. It's literally like a completely different world that they live in. No morals. No regrets. No feeling bad about anything. I was raised to have strong morals, and when I do get married some day, it'll be the real deal. It just makes me so mad that this is the 'marriage' that this country is protecting. I'm so sick of being around it. I need to get out of here! It's really just putting a damper on me on a daily basis, and I can't stand to be feeling this negative and bitter all the time. Maybe I am taking it too personally, but I just can't help it. It's right in my face everyday.
So my neighbor and I are talking about moving together, getting a bigger place. We've been close friends for a while, and we're both just tired of the bullshit around here. This place used to be so nice!
I hate that I feel like I'm always complaining about something on this blog. I guess it's just an outlet right now.
Definitely looking foward to the bbq today, most of my coworkers will be there, and I always have a great time with them. yay!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Just don't make eye contact and you'll be ok.
So I'm on my way to work this morning. Just driving along, listening to my music loud and singing along as usual, I believe I had Adele, Fleetwood Mac, and Rilo Kiley playing simultaneously. I really enjoy being in my car by myself. It really does become my own little world, while I'm singing and daydreaming. Very soothing to me.
All of a sudden, I see this big white van behind me. I can see that it's a man with dark black sunglasses on. He's changing lanes with me, even cutting people off to stay directly behind me. After about 7 or 8 minutes, he tries to get beside me, but I'm getting freaked out at this point, so I speed up and try to get away from him through traffic. He starts beeping his horn as he can tell I'm trying to lose him. Am I the only one who sees this scary dude chasing me? Someone needs to help me out or something. I've got my cellphone clutched in my hand ready to dial, just in case. We're coming up to a stoplight, and I'm suddenly boxed in with cars all around me, the scary dude is to my left, just only halfway behind me. I tell myself it's gonna be ok. Just don't look at him, and you'll be at work safe in 10 minutes. He starts beeping his horn over and over again. wtf does he want? He rolls down his window and starts yelling at me. 'HEY!' I don't move a muscle. 'HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!' ok just turn around and see what he wants. I turn around just enough so that he knows he has my attention. he yells out of his window "You don't have any FUCKING brake lights!! YOU DON'T HAVE AAAANNNYYY FUUUUUUCKINGGGGG BRAKEEE LIGHTTTTSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"
oh. oh i see.
I knod, totally in shock of how he has just yelled at me, after scaring the shit out of me for a good 10 minutes. So, ahem, I don't have any brake lights? Ok. Thank you sir. I mean yes, this is a serious thing that I need to know about, but I'm sitting there shaking in my little flippy floppies.
I made it to work ok. Took my car to the mechanic that my dad's friends with. He figured out it was the brake light switch that was broken, since all 3 of my brake lights decided to all not work in one day. Just this one little piece of plastic that had broken, and it cost me $46 for this little tiny piece of plastic. Luckily the mechanic never charges me for the labor, he's a really nice guy. So all is better with my car. Whew.
Guess who just played guitar hero for the first time? Me. Ok, not the first time, but it might as well have been. I'm horrible at that game. I've only actually played one time before, so it's not like I've gotten a lot of practice and I'm still horrible. My neighbor just got the new guitar hero 5 and brought it over. He was so excited about it, and wanted me to play it with him. That poor guy had no idea what he was asking of me. I kept getting us kicked out of all of the songs, or whatever you call it hahaha. Seriously, I'm horrible. I just kept sitting there and laughing, cuz I'm just that bad. I used to play piano, and once you have your fingers programmed to play music one way, it's hard to play a different kind of instrument. Not that guitar hero is actually like playing a guitar, but it is kinda backwards in comparison to piano. I actually have a guitar and don't know how to play it. I wanna learn how soon. On my list.
I'm gonna be posting tomorrow for Lilu's TMI Thursdays, so be sure to check back. I have a funnyyyy story of something that happened to me recently.
All of a sudden, I see this big white van behind me. I can see that it's a man with dark black sunglasses on. He's changing lanes with me, even cutting people off to stay directly behind me. After about 7 or 8 minutes, he tries to get beside me, but I'm getting freaked out at this point, so I speed up and try to get away from him through traffic. He starts beeping his horn as he can tell I'm trying to lose him. Am I the only one who sees this scary dude chasing me? Someone needs to help me out or something. I've got my cellphone clutched in my hand ready to dial, just in case. We're coming up to a stoplight, and I'm suddenly boxed in with cars all around me, the scary dude is to my left, just only halfway behind me. I tell myself it's gonna be ok. Just don't look at him, and you'll be at work safe in 10 minutes. He starts beeping his horn over and over again. wtf does he want? He rolls down his window and starts yelling at me. 'HEY!' I don't move a muscle. 'HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!' ok just turn around and see what he wants. I turn around just enough so that he knows he has my attention. he yells out of his window "You don't have any FUCKING brake lights!! YOU DON'T HAVE AAAANNNYYY FUUUUUUCKINGGGGG BRAKEEE LIGHTTTTSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"
oh. oh i see.
I knod, totally in shock of how he has just yelled at me, after scaring the shit out of me for a good 10 minutes. So, ahem, I don't have any brake lights? Ok. Thank you sir. I mean yes, this is a serious thing that I need to know about, but I'm sitting there shaking in my little flippy floppies.
I made it to work ok. Took my car to the mechanic that my dad's friends with. He figured out it was the brake light switch that was broken, since all 3 of my brake lights decided to all not work in one day. Just this one little piece of plastic that had broken, and it cost me $46 for this little tiny piece of plastic. Luckily the mechanic never charges me for the labor, he's a really nice guy. So all is better with my car. Whew.
Guess who just played guitar hero for the first time? Me. Ok, not the first time, but it might as well have been. I'm horrible at that game. I've only actually played one time before, so it's not like I've gotten a lot of practice and I'm still horrible. My neighbor just got the new guitar hero 5 and brought it over. He was so excited about it, and wanted me to play it with him. That poor guy had no idea what he was asking of me. I kept getting us kicked out of all of the songs, or whatever you call it hahaha. Seriously, I'm horrible. I just kept sitting there and laughing, cuz I'm just that bad. I used to play piano, and once you have your fingers programmed to play music one way, it's hard to play a different kind of instrument. Not that guitar hero is actually like playing a guitar, but it is kinda backwards in comparison to piano. I actually have a guitar and don't know how to play it. I wanna learn how soon. On my list.
I'm gonna be posting tomorrow for Lilu's TMI Thursdays, so be sure to check back. I have a funnyyyy story of something that happened to me recently.
perfection in a chart.
Ok so I definitely snagged this from Lilu over here, but I simply have to put this on my blog. This is just absolutely perfect for me, and made me laugh and think about all the times the dreaded EX would show up with flowers and a bottle of wine. I couldn't keep a mean face on when I saw her as it was, but the wine always worked in her favor as well. She was so sneaky, that bitch. I mean sweetie.
How perfect is this? just click on it to make it bigger... a wee bit tiny on here.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Some new art.
I finished up some paintings over the weekend. Have a looksie.
This one is for Shae, our friend who is in ICU right now (14 days so far) with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I made this to put in his room. His nickname is Cheetah Smurf :-)
I made this for a coworker to give to her boyfriend for their one year anniversary. Her instructions were as follows: "his favorite color is green." haha. He loves it.
This picture does not do this justice by any means. This painting is 24in by 32in. It's much brighter and more colorful in person. Also, if you look closely, you can see that there is some added texture in some spots, I have strips of sequins on it that I painted over. They shine more than the canvas. I painted this to match some vases that we got for the salon:
Pretty huh?
As always, my art is for sale. Visit my actual art page here.
50 questions that are different from the usual questionaires.
I stole these questions from A. Elaine.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Probably younger, but I could say older too. There are things in my life that I've wanted to accomplish by now and haven't, but I still feel like I have an older soul than most my age, so I guess I'll just stick with my age. 25.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Definitely worse to have never tried. I truly believe that we can all accomplish anything if we want to. We just have to get up and do it.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Well I for one, don't usually do things that I don't like to do. I'm definitely a creature of comfort and happiness, and if it makes me happy, it can't be that bad (thank you Sheryl Crow hahaha). As far as liking things we don't do, that probably stems from laziness or procrastination. There are many things that I want to do and see and feel but I just haven't yet. List of things to do type of stuff.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I hope not, but at this point yes. I'll admit that I am someone who doesn't finish everything she starts. I'm working on changing that though. Follow through is where it's at.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Well since this is such a vague question, I'll have to give a vague and stereo typical answer. I'd have to take all of the hatred out of this world. I know it's everywhere, but the hatred that hits me close to home is all of the homophobia and how it's truly keeping us from our natural human rights. I 'hate' that a lot of it is religion based as well, because the point of believing in anything is supposed to stem from love. Organized religion just creates hatred towards our fellow human beings. Maybe I'd take away organized religion. That'd probably solve a lot.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Painting. Or any kind of art.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Well, both right now. I am doing what I believe is my calling, I am doing hair and painting. But I'm also settling because both of these don't exactly make a lot of money just yet. I'm young and having to take what I can get from the jobs that make me happy. I have bigger plans for the future, but it'll take money to make those things happen.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would have probably already had kids by now, and hopefully would be more settled and stable. But I'd still be doing the same things and be the same person.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? To some degree, but there are always going to be so many factors that feed into the outcome of things.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I'd say I'm more concerned with doing the right things, I pride myself on being able to look back with a clear conscience. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, and I have made mistakes, but for the most part I try to do right by others.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I'd be the first to stand up for someone, whether they were a friend or not. If it's wrong, it's wrong, and people who know me know that I don't like to take things lying down.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Don't worry so much about what other people think. Just be yourself and follow your passions til the end.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Depends on what I was saving them from, but if it was anything life threatening, absolutely.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Well yes, as a hairstylist, yes. I've been to a few hair shows, and those stage artists definitely put on a crazy show, and then the model tossels her hair back and it's gorgeous haha.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Well I'm hoping that I'm not too different in this, but compared to the people I've dated, I'd say that I love differently. I want to think that it's just because I've never been in a relationship that was in any way functional, I have a habit of getting involved with people that are completely wrong for me. But as far as love goes, I do it whole heartedly and with full intentions of doing whatever I can to make the other person happy. This has gotten me into trouble in the past, because I certainly haven't gotten it in return. I'm learning. haha.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone is different and we all have different passions and get butterflies in our tummies for different things. Painting and being in nature and sunsets and coffee and live music send me to the moon. :-)
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to travel all over. All through Europe and Asia and just everywhere. What's holding me back? Yeah that'd be money. haha.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Well I recently just let go of something that I thought I couldn't, but I knew I needed to. I said goodbye to an ex for good (not the one i wrote that last blog about, but the one i said i had a hard time getting over). We were trying to do the friend thing, but I seriously just don't know how lesbians do the whole friend thing afterwards. I can't do it.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I'd move to New Orleans. I've been there a few times and it's my favorite place in the whole world (well of the places I've been to). I suppose I'd probably say Italy or France though, had I been there. I can't wait to see those places.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No and no.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I honestly can't answer this question. My intelligence is something I value-a lot. But I also have to be happy. I don't function well without happiness in and around me.
22. Why are you, you? Blame my mother.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes. I don't want to say I've always done the best thing, cuz no one has, but I have been the kind of friend I'd like to have. I care a lot of the people close to me.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? When a good friend moves away, because there's nothing you can do about it. If the good friend still lives close by, all you gotta do is go see em!
25. What are you most grateful for? My family, and my artistic side.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I'd rather lose the old ones. I think that my best days are still to come.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes. Some things you just know. But other things need to be challenged.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? not yet.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? No it doesn't. Well the particular thing that came to mind doesn't matter now. Just another ex.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Dancing with my daddy on his feet, or when he'd twirl me around my in my little sundresses at all of the company bbq's we'd go to. There'd always be a live band and I'd always be on the dance floor twirling.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? It had to be back in March of this year. My ex "H", her sister, and I all went down to stay at my dad's beach house in Corolla, NC. It was during the off season, and there was no one on the beach, it felt like we were the only ones for miles. We went to the beach the first night we got there, after a few drinks, and decided to go skinny dipping. The water was unbelieveably cold, and we all ran out immediately after touching our toes. Since there was no one around, we jsut decided to stay in the nude. It was exhilerating. With nothing but the moon to light up the beach, we walked around and held each other and layed in the sand and felt so incredibly connected to each other and with nature. It was just really amazing and beautiful.
32. If not now, then when? When I find the right one.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? I'm sorry, what?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? You mean sex right? hahaha
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? I was just talking about this!
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Yes it is. But sometimes it's hard to see it when you're in it.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes I would, but only to pursue my future plans.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? Definitely more work that I enjoy doing. I like feeling productive when it's something I enjoy.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Today yes. I had a nice relaxing day and just did a lot of painting. I do paint often.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Well I guess that's kinda like getting into a new relationship. You have high hopes for it but you don't really know what you're getting into for a bit.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My mom.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Hell no. I'd rather not be famous, and hellooooo I'm already attractive lol jk.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Passion.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? I think by now I have a good idea what's right. I don't typically need to think many things over. But who knows.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? haha that's a good question. But I kinda live by this motto: You don't make mistakes, you make discoveries!
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I actually just sat and thought about it, and I don't think I'd do anything differently.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? While working out.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? My mom, sis, painting... and yes.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? I'll remember that I was always painting. But probably not anything else in the past couple days.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Definitely making them for myself. The only other person I've ever let make decisions for me is my mom, and my life would definitely be different if I let her take the wheel.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Probably younger, but I could say older too. There are things in my life that I've wanted to accomplish by now and haven't, but I still feel like I have an older soul than most my age, so I guess I'll just stick with my age. 25.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Definitely worse to have never tried. I truly believe that we can all accomplish anything if we want to. We just have to get up and do it.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Well I for one, don't usually do things that I don't like to do. I'm definitely a creature of comfort and happiness, and if it makes me happy, it can't be that bad (thank you Sheryl Crow hahaha). As far as liking things we don't do, that probably stems from laziness or procrastination. There are many things that I want to do and see and feel but I just haven't yet. List of things to do type of stuff.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I hope not, but at this point yes. I'll admit that I am someone who doesn't finish everything she starts. I'm working on changing that though. Follow through is where it's at.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Well since this is such a vague question, I'll have to give a vague and stereo typical answer. I'd have to take all of the hatred out of this world. I know it's everywhere, but the hatred that hits me close to home is all of the homophobia and how it's truly keeping us from our natural human rights. I 'hate' that a lot of it is religion based as well, because the point of believing in anything is supposed to stem from love. Organized religion just creates hatred towards our fellow human beings. Maybe I'd take away organized religion. That'd probably solve a lot.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Painting. Or any kind of art.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Well, both right now. I am doing what I believe is my calling, I am doing hair and painting. But I'm also settling because both of these don't exactly make a lot of money just yet. I'm young and having to take what I can get from the jobs that make me happy. I have bigger plans for the future, but it'll take money to make those things happen.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would have probably already had kids by now, and hopefully would be more settled and stable. But I'd still be doing the same things and be the same person.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? To some degree, but there are always going to be so many factors that feed into the outcome of things.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I'd say I'm more concerned with doing the right things, I pride myself on being able to look back with a clear conscience. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, and I have made mistakes, but for the most part I try to do right by others.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I'd be the first to stand up for someone, whether they were a friend or not. If it's wrong, it's wrong, and people who know me know that I don't like to take things lying down.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Don't worry so much about what other people think. Just be yourself and follow your passions til the end.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Depends on what I was saving them from, but if it was anything life threatening, absolutely.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Well yes, as a hairstylist, yes. I've been to a few hair shows, and those stage artists definitely put on a crazy show, and then the model tossels her hair back and it's gorgeous haha.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Well I'm hoping that I'm not too different in this, but compared to the people I've dated, I'd say that I love differently. I want to think that it's just because I've never been in a relationship that was in any way functional, I have a habit of getting involved with people that are completely wrong for me. But as far as love goes, I do it whole heartedly and with full intentions of doing whatever I can to make the other person happy. This has gotten me into trouble in the past, because I certainly haven't gotten it in return. I'm learning. haha.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone is different and we all have different passions and get butterflies in our tummies for different things. Painting and being in nature and sunsets and coffee and live music send me to the moon. :-)
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to travel all over. All through Europe and Asia and just everywhere. What's holding me back? Yeah that'd be money. haha.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Well I recently just let go of something that I thought I couldn't, but I knew I needed to. I said goodbye to an ex for good (not the one i wrote that last blog about, but the one i said i had a hard time getting over). We were trying to do the friend thing, but I seriously just don't know how lesbians do the whole friend thing afterwards. I can't do it.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I'd move to New Orleans. I've been there a few times and it's my favorite place in the whole world (well of the places I've been to). I suppose I'd probably say Italy or France though, had I been there. I can't wait to see those places.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No and no.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I honestly can't answer this question. My intelligence is something I value-a lot. But I also have to be happy. I don't function well without happiness in and around me.
22. Why are you, you? Blame my mother.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes. I don't want to say I've always done the best thing, cuz no one has, but I have been the kind of friend I'd like to have. I care a lot of the people close to me.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? When a good friend moves away, because there's nothing you can do about it. If the good friend still lives close by, all you gotta do is go see em!
25. What are you most grateful for? My family, and my artistic side.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I'd rather lose the old ones. I think that my best days are still to come.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes. Some things you just know. But other things need to be challenged.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? not yet.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? No it doesn't. Well the particular thing that came to mind doesn't matter now. Just another ex.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Dancing with my daddy on his feet, or when he'd twirl me around my in my little sundresses at all of the company bbq's we'd go to. There'd always be a live band and I'd always be on the dance floor twirling.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? It had to be back in March of this year. My ex "H", her sister, and I all went down to stay at my dad's beach house in Corolla, NC. It was during the off season, and there was no one on the beach, it felt like we were the only ones for miles. We went to the beach the first night we got there, after a few drinks, and decided to go skinny dipping. The water was unbelieveably cold, and we all ran out immediately after touching our toes. Since there was no one around, we jsut decided to stay in the nude. It was exhilerating. With nothing but the moon to light up the beach, we walked around and held each other and layed in the sand and felt so incredibly connected to each other and with nature. It was just really amazing and beautiful.
32. If not now, then when? When I find the right one.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? I'm sorry, what?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? You mean sex right? hahaha
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? I was just talking about this!
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Yes it is. But sometimes it's hard to see it when you're in it.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes I would, but only to pursue my future plans.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? Definitely more work that I enjoy doing. I like feeling productive when it's something I enjoy.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Today yes. I had a nice relaxing day and just did a lot of painting. I do paint often.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Well I guess that's kinda like getting into a new relationship. You have high hopes for it but you don't really know what you're getting into for a bit.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My mom.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Hell no. I'd rather not be famous, and hellooooo I'm already attractive lol jk.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Passion.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? I think by now I have a good idea what's right. I don't typically need to think many things over. But who knows.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? haha that's a good question. But I kinda live by this motto: You don't make mistakes, you make discoveries!
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I actually just sat and thought about it, and I don't think I'd do anything differently.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? While working out.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? My mom, sis, painting... and yes.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? I'll remember that I was always painting. But probably not anything else in the past couple days.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Definitely making them for myself. The only other person I've ever let make decisions for me is my mom, and my life would definitely be different if I let her take the wheel.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Dreams.
I had a really weird dream last night and I've been trying to figure it out all day. It, of course, involved my ex. We'll call her H.
A little background. She and I dated off and on for a little over a year. I originally started dating her in an effort to get over my ex before her, but I guess that's how a lot of relationships start off unfortunately. Anyway, in my mind, she was safe. She was a nice girl from a nice family. Close with her sisters, and seemed to want all of the same things that I did in a future. Kids, a house in the country, a nice family life. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders, and was crazy about me right from the start. I mistakenly left her a couple times to go back to the ex before her, the one I couldn't get over, the one who knew all of the right things to say and when to say them and who knew exactly how to get to me and break me down and make me feel crazy. I'll talk more about her later.
Back to H. I'm gonna try to simplify the story. During one of the times I had left her, she started dating this other woman. Whenever I talked to H about her, she said that she was nice, but that she didn't have an opinion of her own, H claimed that she couldn't take her in public without feeling embarrassed, that she was a pill popper, that she called into work at least once a week and was always on the verge of getting fired from her job for calling in and being lazy, she always had a headache (or something else to complain about). The list went on and on of things she was unhappy with. As lesbians stereotypically do, they ended up moving in together only a few months after dating. During their relationship, H left her twice to come back to me, and we made plans for our life, and plans for moving in together and getting out of her lease and all that jazz. I saw a life with her like I never had with anyone else. I was planning on moving away from my hometown (which I never have before) with her to a small town we'd decided to live in, in the mountains. Kids were going to be in our near future, but not soon enough for her. She ended up leaving me for the final time when I said I wasn't ready to pop out the little ones just yet, I was still eager to have a real life with her, without all of the drama of our exes in our lives. I wanted to be settled in our new home and with good jobs first. She wasn't havin it. Kids were to be had ASAP.
She went back to the woman she was still living with. The one she had all of the complaints about. The one that was convenient and was too scared to stand up to her or put her foot down. Maybe I'm wrong about their relationship, but this is the information I was presented with by H. And I'm sure I was insecure during our relationship, but who wouldn't be? she was still living with that woman, and our past as a couple was full of ups and downs. I was just wanting things to calm down so we could be the happy couple that we both envisioned we could be. Maybe it was wishful thinking. It ended badly. I didn't need to, but it did. She left me the day before my birthday, and later wrote out horrible things about me, all of my insecurities about myself and secrets about myself on her blog. It was definitely an attempt to destroy me, and it almost did. there was no need for it, she had been the one to leave me afterall. I'm over it now, I refuse to read her blog. Not going to put myself through any of that again.
I did have a dream about her last night though. I had a dream that she came back, left that other woman. In reality, I don't want this to happen, I know that we're just not right for each other, but in my dream I was happy. We just sat and talked in the dream. Just looked at each other and I felt comfort in her being there. I don't want her back, there ended up being so many lies that surfaced... etc. typical breakup stuff. I'm over it, but I think I just miss the closeness of having someone. It's not her, it's just the idea I had of her, or the idea of what I really want. I'm looking foward to finding my own idea of love.
A little background. She and I dated off and on for a little over a year. I originally started dating her in an effort to get over my ex before her, but I guess that's how a lot of relationships start off unfortunately. Anyway, in my mind, she was safe. She was a nice girl from a nice family. Close with her sisters, and seemed to want all of the same things that I did in a future. Kids, a house in the country, a nice family life. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders, and was crazy about me right from the start. I mistakenly left her a couple times to go back to the ex before her, the one I couldn't get over, the one who knew all of the right things to say and when to say them and who knew exactly how to get to me and break me down and make me feel crazy. I'll talk more about her later.
Back to H. I'm gonna try to simplify the story. During one of the times I had left her, she started dating this other woman. Whenever I talked to H about her, she said that she was nice, but that she didn't have an opinion of her own, H claimed that she couldn't take her in public without feeling embarrassed, that she was a pill popper, that she called into work at least once a week and was always on the verge of getting fired from her job for calling in and being lazy, she always had a headache (or something else to complain about). The list went on and on of things she was unhappy with. As lesbians stereotypically do, they ended up moving in together only a few months after dating. During their relationship, H left her twice to come back to me, and we made plans for our life, and plans for moving in together and getting out of her lease and all that jazz. I saw a life with her like I never had with anyone else. I was planning on moving away from my hometown (which I never have before) with her to a small town we'd decided to live in, in the mountains. Kids were going to be in our near future, but not soon enough for her. She ended up leaving me for the final time when I said I wasn't ready to pop out the little ones just yet, I was still eager to have a real life with her, without all of the drama of our exes in our lives. I wanted to be settled in our new home and with good jobs first. She wasn't havin it. Kids were to be had ASAP.
She went back to the woman she was still living with. The one she had all of the complaints about. The one that was convenient and was too scared to stand up to her or put her foot down. Maybe I'm wrong about their relationship, but this is the information I was presented with by H. And I'm sure I was insecure during our relationship, but who wouldn't be? she was still living with that woman, and our past as a couple was full of ups and downs. I was just wanting things to calm down so we could be the happy couple that we both envisioned we could be. Maybe it was wishful thinking. It ended badly. I didn't need to, but it did. She left me the day before my birthday, and later wrote out horrible things about me, all of my insecurities about myself and secrets about myself on her blog. It was definitely an attempt to destroy me, and it almost did. there was no need for it, she had been the one to leave me afterall. I'm over it now, I refuse to read her blog. Not going to put myself through any of that again.
I did have a dream about her last night though. I had a dream that she came back, left that other woman. In reality, I don't want this to happen, I know that we're just not right for each other, but in my dream I was happy. We just sat and talked in the dream. Just looked at each other and I felt comfort in her being there. I don't want her back, there ended up being so many lies that surfaced... etc. typical breakup stuff. I'm over it, but I think I just miss the closeness of having someone. It's not her, it's just the idea I had of her, or the idea of what I really want. I'm looking foward to finding my own idea of love.
Staying put. and eating better. and marriage.
Well after all that stress and confusion, looks like I'm going to be staying right where I am. I talked to my roommate tonight about the move coming up. Or lack of one I should say now.
The wife asked me a couple days ago, "You're moving?" and I said yes... she said why... and I said because I thought I had to... she looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about. She told me that my roommate is staying and that I should stay too. I asked the roommate about it tonight and he said that he's decided to stay and that I'm welcome to stay as long as I want. I'm like... ummmm ok.... wtf was all of this for then?????????????
It's easier to stay than finding a new place and getting comfortable with a new roommate and the actual act of MOVING which I hate. I am comfortable here, become good friends with a lot of the neighbors, and it's nice to have friends in walking distance.
The wife left today, which makes me happy, and it'll be 4 months before she's home again, and even then she won't be living here. She apparently wants time to herself for a while, wants to be on her own. He's just agreeing to whatever she says. They both are 'allowed' to 'date' while she's gone, this is her making these rules and him basically not having a choice if he wants to keep her, but he takes full advantage of the freedom. This whole scenario is difficult to watch. I'm single now, and don't know who I'll end up with, but chances are it'll be with a woman. I want to be able to get married just as much as the next gal, and I'm not allowed to here. But this is what marriage is in this splendid country. A 20 year old 'wife' and a 32 year old 'husband' getting married out of convenience because she's in the army. Just the other night, she went out with a neighbor, they wanted to go clubbing on a wednesday night. They texted another one of our neighbors asking where should they go because the few places they went were closed, and then texted back a few minutes later 'nevermind, we're gonna stay out, just don't tell Chris (my roommate) that the bars are closed.' They constantly lie to each other, and it's just disgusting. I don't get it.
Be proud! I've been doing really well with food this week (except for the bbp party last night at my bosses's house). Eating a lot of veggies and fruits, and absolutely no beef or pork all week.
OH MY GOSH!! i JUST saw a really awesome commercial thingy. It was these two girls (nametags say Emma and Julia) sitting behind a counter working in a convenient store and one asks the other if she wants to hang out when they get outta work. The other girl says no, that her parents want her to come directly home after work. The first girl says 'ugh... that's so gay.' A woman walks up to the counter and says 'wow.. That's so Emma and Julia.' they ask why she's saying that, and she says 'well that's what people say when they're refering to something being stupid. everyone says it.' Emma and Julia look at each other confused and the screen goes black. A voice says 'do you realize what you are saying when you say that's so gay? Knock it off." haha. i love it.
Anyway back to my diet for the week... it's actually easy to do... I haven't really had to fight any cravings. Plus I'm saving money not ordering food everyday for lunch at work. I swear we probably spend $50 a week just on lunch at work, we always order out. hope everyone had a good weekend.
The wife asked me a couple days ago, "You're moving?" and I said yes... she said why... and I said because I thought I had to... she looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about. She told me that my roommate is staying and that I should stay too. I asked the roommate about it tonight and he said that he's decided to stay and that I'm welcome to stay as long as I want. I'm like... ummmm ok.... wtf was all of this for then?????????????
It's easier to stay than finding a new place and getting comfortable with a new roommate and the actual act of MOVING which I hate. I am comfortable here, become good friends with a lot of the neighbors, and it's nice to have friends in walking distance.
The wife left today, which makes me happy, and it'll be 4 months before she's home again, and even then she won't be living here. She apparently wants time to herself for a while, wants to be on her own. He's just agreeing to whatever she says. They both are 'allowed' to 'date' while she's gone, this is her making these rules and him basically not having a choice if he wants to keep her, but he takes full advantage of the freedom. This whole scenario is difficult to watch. I'm single now, and don't know who I'll end up with, but chances are it'll be with a woman. I want to be able to get married just as much as the next gal, and I'm not allowed to here. But this is what marriage is in this splendid country. A 20 year old 'wife' and a 32 year old 'husband' getting married out of convenience because she's in the army. Just the other night, she went out with a neighbor, they wanted to go clubbing on a wednesday night. They texted another one of our neighbors asking where should they go because the few places they went were closed, and then texted back a few minutes later 'nevermind, we're gonna stay out, just don't tell Chris (my roommate) that the bars are closed.' They constantly lie to each other, and it's just disgusting. I don't get it.
Be proud! I've been doing really well with food this week (except for the bbp party last night at my bosses's house). Eating a lot of veggies and fruits, and absolutely no beef or pork all week.
OH MY GOSH!! i JUST saw a really awesome commercial thingy. It was these two girls (nametags say Emma and Julia) sitting behind a counter working in a convenient store and one asks the other if she wants to hang out when they get outta work. The other girl says no, that her parents want her to come directly home after work. The first girl says 'ugh... that's so gay.' A woman walks up to the counter and says 'wow.. That's so Emma and Julia.' they ask why she's saying that, and she says 'well that's what people say when they're refering to something being stupid. everyone says it.' Emma and Julia look at each other confused and the screen goes black. A voice says 'do you realize what you are saying when you say that's so gay? Knock it off." haha. i love it.
Anyway back to my diet for the week... it's actually easy to do... I haven't really had to fight any cravings. Plus I'm saving money not ordering food everyday for lunch at work. I swear we probably spend $50 a week just on lunch at work, we always order out. hope everyone had a good weekend.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
48 hours left, please fill this out!
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/Survey?ACTION_REQUIRED=URI_ACTION_USER_REQUESTS&SURVEY_ID=2521&autologin=true
I'm a member of the HRC and I got this in an email from them. Please take a minute to fill out the quick survey, there's only less than 2 days left to do this. "we've launched a survey designed to give Congress and the president a first-hand look at how DOMA hurts the people we love."
We're getting more and more states saying that we can marry, but then the Defense Against Marriage Act makes it so that the federal government still doesn't legally recognize the marriage, no matter where you are. Do your part! :-)
I'm a member of the HRC and I got this in an email from them. Please take a minute to fill out the quick survey, there's only less than 2 days left to do this. "we've launched a survey designed to give Congress and the president a first-hand look at how DOMA hurts the people we love."
We're getting more and more states saying that we can marry, but then the Defense Against Marriage Act makes it so that the federal government still doesn't legally recognize the marriage, no matter where you are. Do your part! :-)
2 bad so far!
So that guy I was going to meet this morning to see if he'd be a good roommate... ehhhhhh no. The guy was really nice, but the house was a disaster. He failed to tell me that the entire house was basically under renovations, including the room that he was offering to me. Literally, every room had some kind of construction going on. And the kitchen was a mess as well... like old food and dirty dishes laying out, from at least a few days. So yeah... no go there.
I'm meeting with a girl tomorrow. She's a vegetarian lesbian around my age. Right up my alley. We've been talking a lot through the week and she seems really layed back and nice too. So MAYBEEEE that'll work out. But with my streak of luck, I'm not getting my hopes up. She has a cat, and I might be getting a kitten soon so that'll be cute. Seriously, wish me luck. Otherwise I may be stuck here for another month.
Very awkwardly, my current roommate asked me to have dinner with him and his wife tonight. They made hamburger helper (disgusting, but I ate it anyway) and we all sat in silence while some weird sex scene happened to be on tv. I ate up quickly and brought my plate to the kitchen, thanked them for dinner and went to my room. I'm not really sure why they invited me to eat with them... it was jsut awkward. Maybe he's hoping that we'll be friends when she leaves or something. Who knows. They won't actually tell me anything that's going on with the moving thing so...
I'm meeting with a girl tomorrow. She's a vegetarian lesbian around my age. Right up my alley. We've been talking a lot through the week and she seems really layed back and nice too. So MAYBEEEE that'll work out. But with my streak of luck, I'm not getting my hopes up. She has a cat, and I might be getting a kitten soon so that'll be cute. Seriously, wish me luck. Otherwise I may be stuck here for another month.
Very awkwardly, my current roommate asked me to have dinner with him and his wife tonight. They made hamburger helper (disgusting, but I ate it anyway) and we all sat in silence while some weird sex scene happened to be on tv. I ate up quickly and brought my plate to the kitchen, thanked them for dinner and went to my room. I'm not really sure why they invited me to eat with them... it was jsut awkward. Maybe he's hoping that we'll be friends when she leaves or something. Who knows. They won't actually tell me anything that's going on with the moving thing so...
confusion...
Yay i just saw that I have my first follower!!! lol. Yes. I'm easily excited.
Problem though. I click on my follower and all it shows me is her recent activity and sites she's joined, but there's no way for me to see her blog. Or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough? Someone please explain to me how to look at someone's blog from my following list! Does this even make sense? I'm not even new to blogger but this is just confusing me for sure.
Thanks!
Problem though. I click on my follower and all it shows me is her recent activity and sites she's joined, but there's no way for me to see her blog. Or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough? Someone please explain to me how to look at someone's blog from my following list! Does this even make sense? I'm not even new to blogger but this is just confusing me for sure.
Thanks!
Yay! Gotta start somewhere.
Ok so I've been working out this week and eat a hell of a lot better, and I've already lost 2 lbs! Yes I know, it's only 2 lbs and I coulda lost that just by a good pee but hey. Gotta start somewhere! Luckily I actually enjoy eating the good for you yum yums like veggies and fruits. I just have this weakness for fast food. Fast food has truly been how I've gained my weight. I wasn't allowed to eat it growing up, and then there was that one boyfriend (the last guy I ever dated) when I was 17-18 whose metabolism was through the roof and never gained a pound and always ate horribly. So I started eating horribly with him, and it all went down hill from there. I've gained around 60 lbs since high school. I'm aware that I may never get that little high school body back but I want to get in a good shape for my body now. What am I saying? I'm only 25, I can do this. No problem. 2 lbs down, 58 to go.
I'm meeting another potential roommate this morning before I go into work at 11. The last one was a nightmare, so creepy that I didn't even get out of my car. But I've talked to this one a couple times on the phone and done extensive questionaire style emails back and forth to get to know each other. He's a 38 year old gay guy from Texas, and he seems really down to earth and nice. He owns the house, and another gay guy lives there with him who is 25. They've already been living together for a year and get along really well. He has a full gym set up in his garage and a hot tub in the backyard to relax in after workouts haha. He said he wants someone to work out with him and I got so excited! He's just gotten this hip hop work out video and wants someone to do it with him, and his other roommate won't lol. This is gonna be quite a site, I'm about as white girl as they come when it comes to dancing. So anyway, hopefully this works out and I can get outtaaaaa hereeeeeee!! Wish me luck.
I'm meeting another potential roommate this morning before I go into work at 11. The last one was a nightmare, so creepy that I didn't even get out of my car. But I've talked to this one a couple times on the phone and done extensive questionaire style emails back and forth to get to know each other. He's a 38 year old gay guy from Texas, and he seems really down to earth and nice. He owns the house, and another gay guy lives there with him who is 25. They've already been living together for a year and get along really well. He has a full gym set up in his garage and a hot tub in the backyard to relax in after workouts haha. He said he wants someone to work out with him and I got so excited! He's just gotten this hip hop work out video and wants someone to do it with him, and his other roommate won't lol. This is gonna be quite a site, I'm about as white girl as they come when it comes to dancing. So anyway, hopefully this works out and I can get outtaaaaa hereeeeeee!! Wish me luck.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Happy Thoughts, Send them our way!
I'm a hairstylist, and I love my job. I get to meet people from all walks of life that I would normally never get to have a conversation with, but as their trusted stylist, they confide in me sometimes things that they wouldn't tell their closest friends. I love building these bonds with people, and I feel very lucky for that.
Sandra has been a client of mine for about 2 years. We've become close and even spent some time together outside of work. She's in her mid 30s, owns a restaurant, runs a preschool, parties like a rock star, and in her 'spare time' (when???) she's put together this amazing fundraising association for people that have cancer in the area. She's held a number of fundraisers, and the money they raise goes to families that are struggling because a family member has cancer. She's only been doing this for about a year, but already she's helped so many. I donated a few paintings to be auctioned off at a number of her benefits. Her smile is completely addicting, she goes a mile a minute, and she's broken a number of ladies' hearts in the area. She just can't be tied down!! I love her to pieces.
Shae, Sandra's nephew, has been in the hospital for about a week now. He's only 22 years old, and they've found a big tumor that's somehow wrapped itself around his lungs. The tumor got so big before they even found it, that once they found it, they had to operate immediately. Because it's wrapped around his lungs, they can't fully remove it, and because it's so big, they had to basically keep him 'open' for 5 days while the swelling went down, so that it wouldn't collapse his lungs. They've just closed him back up yesterday, but it's still so big that he's under heavy sedation and on a ventilator. Today, I hear that he's not doing too well, and they doctors are saying that it's going to take a miracle.
I've met Shae quite a few times at the restaurant, serving me one too many drinks from the bar for the fundraisers haha. He's gorgeous, hilarious, and you instintly feel like you've known him for years after talking to him for 5 minutes. We're all pulling for him. Please send your happy thoughts and prayers our way.
Sandra has been a client of mine for about 2 years. We've become close and even spent some time together outside of work. She's in her mid 30s, owns a restaurant, runs a preschool, parties like a rock star, and in her 'spare time' (when???) she's put together this amazing fundraising association for people that have cancer in the area. She's held a number of fundraisers, and the money they raise goes to families that are struggling because a family member has cancer. She's only been doing this for about a year, but already she's helped so many. I donated a few paintings to be auctioned off at a number of her benefits. Her smile is completely addicting, she goes a mile a minute, and she's broken a number of ladies' hearts in the area. She just can't be tied down!! I love her to pieces.
Shae, Sandra's nephew, has been in the hospital for about a week now. He's only 22 years old, and they've found a big tumor that's somehow wrapped itself around his lungs. The tumor got so big before they even found it, that once they found it, they had to operate immediately. Because it's wrapped around his lungs, they can't fully remove it, and because it's so big, they had to basically keep him 'open' for 5 days while the swelling went down, so that it wouldn't collapse his lungs. They've just closed him back up yesterday, but it's still so big that he's under heavy sedation and on a ventilator. Today, I hear that he's not doing too well, and they doctors are saying that it's going to take a miracle.
I've met Shae quite a few times at the restaurant, serving me one too many drinks from the bar for the fundraisers haha. He's gorgeous, hilarious, and you instintly feel like you've known him for years after talking to him for 5 minutes. We're all pulling for him. Please send your happy thoughts and prayers our way.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Oh I hate moving.
So on very short notice, I've been looking for a new place to live. Like I said in a previous post, I feel like I've been doing nothing but moving for the past few years. It's just so hard to find a good roommate. My current roommate and I have gotten along really well since I moved in, which was in January. He and his fiance had married in January before she was leaving for deployment to Afghanistan. Less than a month after she's gone, he finds out that she's already dating someone else who is in her command. Yeah... way to go.
He and I become good friends fast, with me having to console him through all the trauma. And even after all the drama calmed, he seemed to be doing a lot better, we still did most activities together. Great friends. Until. She's coming home for 2 weeks leave from her year long deployment. He's still in love with her, and after seeing her for all of 5 minutes, he's telling me that he is wanting to do whatever he can to make it work. So, the little princess is running the show again. She's 20 years old (he's 32), and thinks that she's God's gift to the world, and even more so, she knows that she's got him in the palm of her hand, and she's eating it up. She tells him that she wants to stay legally married but that when she gets back at the end of her deployment, she wants to move to Richmond (which is 2 hours away from here) and spend some time on her own for a couple years, but that they can see each other on some weekends. He, being the lovestruck dumbass that he is, agrees. On top of all that, she's apparently not ok with the fact that he's made friends here without her being around (me and the neighbors that we've become close with), so she is telling him that he has to move into a different place. The lease is up here in a month, and we had planned to renew it and stay. But now, he's going to be moving, and when I asked if I was going to be moving with him (since I know we both can't afford to live on our own), he said "well, that's up to you I guess, but the place I'm moving to is going to be A LOT more expensive..." basically a very sheepish way of telling me HEY GUESS WHAT! You need to find something else. So here I am.
He's completely changed since she's been home. She's leaving in a few days to go back to her deployment, thank god. She makes it awkward as hell here. They have two dogs, who of course have become attached to me since I've been living here. When they run up to me when I get home from somewhere, she yanks them back as if she doesn't want them to touch me. I just stand there like... wtf is wrong with this girl. It was her idea for me to move in in the first place, and now she acts as if she hates me for no reason. It's just so weird. I haven't done anything but be a friend to this guy since she broke his heart.
So! I've been looking for roommates on craigslist. I went to meet with this guy after work today, and he turned out to be so creepy that I didn't even get out of my car, I just kept driving when I saw him. And the house was in a cute neighborhood, but it was the sore thumb on the street. He had two broken down cars parked in the front yard and and a trailer with some kind of contraption in it, and with grass growing up tall all around it. Oh... dear god. One potential roommate crossed off the list, and a few more to go. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm trying to find a good place soon, so that I can just go ahead and make the big move. No reason to stick around here and deal with weirdness if I can help it.
He and I become good friends fast, with me having to console him through all the trauma. And even after all the drama calmed, he seemed to be doing a lot better, we still did most activities together. Great friends. Until. She's coming home for 2 weeks leave from her year long deployment. He's still in love with her, and after seeing her for all of 5 minutes, he's telling me that he is wanting to do whatever he can to make it work. So, the little princess is running the show again. She's 20 years old (he's 32), and thinks that she's God's gift to the world, and even more so, she knows that she's got him in the palm of her hand, and she's eating it up. She tells him that she wants to stay legally married but that when she gets back at the end of her deployment, she wants to move to Richmond (which is 2 hours away from here) and spend some time on her own for a couple years, but that they can see each other on some weekends. He, being the lovestruck dumbass that he is, agrees. On top of all that, she's apparently not ok with the fact that he's made friends here without her being around (me and the neighbors that we've become close with), so she is telling him that he has to move into a different place. The lease is up here in a month, and we had planned to renew it and stay. But now, he's going to be moving, and when I asked if I was going to be moving with him (since I know we both can't afford to live on our own), he said "well, that's up to you I guess, but the place I'm moving to is going to be A LOT more expensive..." basically a very sheepish way of telling me HEY GUESS WHAT! You need to find something else. So here I am.
He's completely changed since she's been home. She's leaving in a few days to go back to her deployment, thank god. She makes it awkward as hell here. They have two dogs, who of course have become attached to me since I've been living here. When they run up to me when I get home from somewhere, she yanks them back as if she doesn't want them to touch me. I just stand there like... wtf is wrong with this girl. It was her idea for me to move in in the first place, and now she acts as if she hates me for no reason. It's just so weird. I haven't done anything but be a friend to this guy since she broke his heart.
So! I've been looking for roommates on craigslist. I went to meet with this guy after work today, and he turned out to be so creepy that I didn't even get out of my car, I just kept driving when I saw him. And the house was in a cute neighborhood, but it was the sore thumb on the street. He had two broken down cars parked in the front yard and and a trailer with some kind of contraption in it, and with grass growing up tall all around it. Oh... dear god. One potential roommate crossed off the list, and a few more to go. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm trying to find a good place soon, so that I can just go ahead and make the big move. No reason to stick around here and deal with weirdness if I can help it.
Monday, August 24, 2009
all done!
Goal number one finished. Ok so it was a small one, but I did finish fixing up this blog, all nice and beautimous. What do ya'll think?
I've been watching a Golden Girls marathon. I swear, this has to be one of the best shows ever made. They just don't make good tv anymore! I'm so sick of all the reality crap polluting our generation's minds. Why is this considered good entertainment? Why are the Kardashian girls considered celebrities? Please someone tell me why they deserve all of this publicity. And don't get me started on Paris Hilton. Good god.
haha... ok so this was a little ranting, if you will. I promise, I'm a nice girl, and this blog won't be all about ranting. ;-)
sweet dreams!
I've been watching a Golden Girls marathon. I swear, this has to be one of the best shows ever made. They just don't make good tv anymore! I'm so sick of all the reality crap polluting our generation's minds. Why is this considered good entertainment? Why are the Kardashian girls considered celebrities? Please someone tell me why they deserve all of this publicity. And don't get me started on Paris Hilton. Good god.
haha... ok so this was a little ranting, if you will. I promise, I'm a nice girl, and this blog won't be all about ranting. ;-)
sweet dreams!
First one-GO!
Ok let's be honest. I mean that's what a blog is for right? I've started about 5 of these things now, and had to start every new one for a new reason.
I'm starting this one because I just want a fresh start. I want a lot of fresh starts. I want to figure out a lot of things in my life right now and I need a place to vent and explore and to hear other's honest thoughts and to converse with you here.
I'm 25 years young and am feeling lost for so many reasons. I'm having to find a new place to live again. In the past few years, I feel like I've moved 8 times. No, it's not really 8 times but it feels like it. I'm wondering when I'm going to finally feel at home. The house where I grew up is 5 minutes from me but the feeling of 'home' seems so far away.
I'm genuinely a happy person but I just feel so confused lately. I have strong morals and treat others well and have a lot of love to give, but everyone around me seems to be getting (or already has) the things that I want out of life.
Perhaps a quarter-life crisis? Maybe so. I love my job but make very little money and am always living paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes that's even still a struggle.
I know that I'm still lucky and am blessed with a strong mind and good head on my shoulders, and that 'this too shall pass' and friends have told me that good things are sure to be on their way to me, because I deserve it. Still waiting for one good love!
Anyway, I want to start some projects, to give myself something to work towards. A goal of some kind. Of a few kinds! I saw the movie Julie and Julia last night with mom and sis, and it was really great. The overall feel of the movie just made me want to accomplish something big. Made me want to start doing something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning instead of pushing the snooze button 6 times. I'm going to figure out what it is I want to do, and then document it on here. I'll start out with my getting into shape goal. I've just started reading Dr. Phil's weight loss book, and have started working out in my mom's gym. Any other suggestions for projects are welcome! I love doing artistic things (I do a lot of painting) and I also love to cook.
I just want to makeover myself, inside and out. I'm a hairstylist, so I truly understand how a 'makeover' can change your world, even when it's just on the outside. I love giving people makeovers, and seeing their faces light up when they feel so much better about themselves.
Ok, that's a good start on here. I'm going to try to also commit to writing something here everyday, and hopefully make some new friends on here too. Happy blogging!
I'm starting this one because I just want a fresh start. I want a lot of fresh starts. I want to figure out a lot of things in my life right now and I need a place to vent and explore and to hear other's honest thoughts and to converse with you here.
I'm 25 years young and am feeling lost for so many reasons. I'm having to find a new place to live again. In the past few years, I feel like I've moved 8 times. No, it's not really 8 times but it feels like it. I'm wondering when I'm going to finally feel at home. The house where I grew up is 5 minutes from me but the feeling of 'home' seems so far away.
I'm genuinely a happy person but I just feel so confused lately. I have strong morals and treat others well and have a lot of love to give, but everyone around me seems to be getting (or already has) the things that I want out of life.
Perhaps a quarter-life crisis? Maybe so. I love my job but make very little money and am always living paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes that's even still a struggle.
I know that I'm still lucky and am blessed with a strong mind and good head on my shoulders, and that 'this too shall pass' and friends have told me that good things are sure to be on their way to me, because I deserve it. Still waiting for one good love!
Anyway, I want to start some projects, to give myself something to work towards. A goal of some kind. Of a few kinds! I saw the movie Julie and Julia last night with mom and sis, and it was really great. The overall feel of the movie just made me want to accomplish something big. Made me want to start doing something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning instead of pushing the snooze button 6 times. I'm going to figure out what it is I want to do, and then document it on here. I'll start out with my getting into shape goal. I've just started reading Dr. Phil's weight loss book, and have started working out in my mom's gym. Any other suggestions for projects are welcome! I love doing artistic things (I do a lot of painting) and I also love to cook.
I just want to makeover myself, inside and out. I'm a hairstylist, so I truly understand how a 'makeover' can change your world, even when it's just on the outside. I love giving people makeovers, and seeing their faces light up when they feel so much better about themselves.
Ok, that's a good start on here. I'm going to try to also commit to writing something here everyday, and hopefully make some new friends on here too. Happy blogging!
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