50 questions that are different from the usual questionaires.

I stole these questions from A. Elaine.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?  Probably younger, but I could say older too.  There are things in my life that I've wanted to accomplish by now and haven't, but I still feel like I have an older soul than most my age, so I guess I'll just stick with my age.  25.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Definitely worse to have never tried.  I truly believe that we can all accomplish anything if we want to.  We just have to get up and do it.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Well I for one, don't usually do things that I don't like to do.  I'm definitely a creature of comfort and happiness, and if it makes me happy, it can't be that bad (thank you Sheryl Crow hahaha).  As far as liking things we don't do, that probably stems from laziness or procrastination.  There are many things that I want to do and see and feel but I just haven't yet.  List of things to do type of stuff.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?  I hope not, but at this point yes.  I'll admit that I am someone who doesn't finish everything she starts.  I'm working on changing that though.  Follow through is where it's at.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Well since this is such a vague question, I'll have to give a vague and  stereo typical answer.  I'd have to take all of the hatred out of this world.  I know it's everywhere, but the hatred that hits me close to home is all of the homophobia and how it's truly keeping us from our natural human rights.  I 'hate' that a lot of it is religion based as well, because the point of believing in anything is supposed to stem from love.  Organized religion just creates hatred towards our fellow human beings.  Maybe I'd take away organized religion.  That'd probably solve a lot.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?  Painting.  Or any kind of art.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Well, both right now.  I am doing what I believe is my calling, I am doing hair and painting.  But I'm also settling because both of these don't exactly make a lot of money just yet.  I'm young and having to take what I can get from the jobs that make me happy.  I have bigger plans for the future, but it'll take money to make those things happen.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?  I would have probably already had kids by now, and hopefully would be more settled and stable.  But I'd still be doing the same things and be the same person.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? To some degree, but there are always going to be so many factors that feed into the outcome of things. 

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I'd say I'm more concerned with doing the right things, I pride myself on being able to look back with a clear conscience.  I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, and I have made mistakes, but for the most part I try to do right by others. 

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I'd be the first to stand up for someone, whether they were a friend or not.  If it's wrong, it's wrong, and people who know me know that I don't like to take things lying down. 

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Don't worry so much about what other people think.  Just be yourself and follow your passions til the end.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Depends on what I was saving them from, but if it was anything life threatening, absolutely.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Well yes, as a hairstylist, yes.  I've been to a few hair shows, and those stage artists definitely put on a crazy show, and then the model tossels her hair back and it's gorgeous haha. 

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Well I'm hoping that I'm not too different in this, but compared to the people I've dated, I'd say that I love differently.  I want to think that it's just because I've never been in a relationship that was in any way functional, I have a habit of getting involved with people that are completely wrong for me.  But as far as love goes, I do it whole heartedly and with full intentions of doing whatever I can to make the other person happy.  This has gotten me into trouble in the past, because I certainly haven't gotten it in return.  I'm learning.  haha.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?  Because everyone is different and we all have different passions and get butterflies in our tummies for different things.  Painting and being in nature and sunsets and coffee and live music send me to the moon.  :-)

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to travel all over.  All through Europe and Asia and just everywhere.  What's holding me back?  Yeah that'd be money.  haha.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Well I recently just let go of something that I thought I couldn't, but I knew I needed to.  I said goodbye to an ex for good (not the one i wrote that last blog about, but the one i said i had a hard time getting over).  We were trying to do the friend thing, but I seriously just don't know how lesbians do the whole friend thing afterwards. I can't do it. 

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I'd move to New Orleans.  I've been there a few times and it's my favorite place in the whole world (well of the places I've been to).  I suppose I'd probably say Italy or France though, had I been there.  I can't wait to see those places. 

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No and no. 

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I honestly can't answer this question.  My intelligence is something I value-a lot.  But I also have to be happy.  I don't function well without happiness in and around me. 

22. Why are you, you? Blame my mother.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?  Yes.  I don't want to say I've always done the best thing, cuz no one has, but I have been the kind of friend I'd like to have.  I care a lot of the people close to me.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? When a good friend moves away, because there's nothing you can do about it.  If the good friend still lives close by, all you gotta do is go see em!

25. What are you most grateful for? My family, and my artistic side. 

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I'd rather lose the old ones.  I think that my best days are still to come.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes.  Some things you just know.  But other things need to be challenged.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? not yet. 

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? No it doesn't.  Well the particular thing that came to mind doesn't matter now.  Just another ex.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Dancing with my daddy on his feet, or when he'd twirl me around my in my little sundresses at all of the company bbq's we'd go to.  There'd always be a live band and I'd always be on the dance floor twirling.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? It had to be back in March of this year.  My ex "H", her sister, and I all went down to stay at my dad's beach house in Corolla, NC.  It was during the off season, and there was no one on the beach, it felt like we were the only ones for miles.  We went to the beach the first night we got there, after a few drinks, and decided to go skinny dipping.  The water was unbelieveably cold, and we all ran out immediately after touching our toes.  Since there was no one around, we jsut decided to stay in the nude.  It was exhilerating.  With nothing but the moon to light up the beach, we walked around and held each other and layed in the sand and felt so incredibly connected to each other and with nature.  It was just really amazing and beautiful. 

32. If not now, then when? When I find the right one.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? I'm sorry, what?

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? You mean sex right? hahaha

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? I was just talking about this! 

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Yes it is.  But sometimes it's hard to see it when you're in it. 

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes I would, but only to pursue my future plans. 

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? Definitely more work that I enjoy doing.  I like feeling productive when it's something I enjoy. 

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?  Today yes.  I had a nice relaxing day and just did a lot of painting.  I do paint often. 

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?  Well I guess that's kinda like getting into a new relationship.  You have high hopes for it but you don't really know what you're getting into for a bit.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My mom.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Hell no.  I'd rather not be famous, and hellooooo I'm already attractive lol jk.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?   Passion.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? I think by now I have a good idea what's right.  I don't typically need to think many things over.  But who knows. 

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? haha that's a good question.  But I kinda live by this motto:  You don't make mistakes, you make discoveries!

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?  I actually just sat and thought about it, and I don't think I'd do anything differently. 

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?  While working out.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? My mom, sis, painting...  and yes. 

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? I'll remember that I was always painting.  But probably not anything else in the past couple days.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?  Definitely making them for myself.  The only other person I've ever let make decisions for me is my mom, and my life would definitely be different if I let her take the wheel.