So I recently got really super irritated with an old friend of mine, D. D and I have known each other since middle school, and were best friends all through high school. During our senior year, her mom had to move, and so she had to go with her. She only ended up moving about 30 minutes away, but with that move, we slowly fell out of contact. I had a boyfriend that I spent most of my time with (he was actually my last boyfriend) and she was busy dating and making new friends out that way too. Well, after high school, we didn't talk for about a year. She called me out of the blue one night, and totally rocked my world. She told me that 1-she had gotten married. 2-she had had a baby, and 3-she had moved to Florida. (we're in VA). So over the past 7 years, we have seen each other maybe 3 times, usually quick dinners while she was in town here visiting her mom, and I'd gotten to meet her baby and husband during those dinners too. Other than that, we'd just occassionally talk through myspace. Well she recently moved back here and they bought a house and she had another baby a year ago, so we've been getting closer and spending time together.
Well, D is a completely different person now than she was in high school. I mean I know that happens to us all, we all grow up and change... but she is just SOOOOOOOO different. In high school, she was the class clown (I was the quiet shy girl) and she was outgoing and outspoken and vulgar and hilarious. Now... all she can talk about are her kids, and her husband who is an asshole half the time, and just AMAZING the other time... but I'm realizing that married life has made her... well... 'spoken for'. She doesn't seem to have her own opinion about anything anymore. I remember we had been talking about something pretty unimportant a few weeks ago, while I was at her house before her husband got home... and she said that she was gonna have to ask him when he got home what he thought about it. It totally made me wince for a second.. it was such a simple subject that she and I were talking about... and she couldn't even have this conversation with me unless she know how he felt about it. Maybe I'm looking too much into it but it's just so weird. She's just totally not the same person.
Which brings me to the part where I got really irritated. A couple weeks ago, when they put the block on getting rid of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Lady Gaga had spoken out about it. She had said somthing to the effect of she is on our side, wants equal rights for us, and that she thinks that if the straight soldiers in the military have an issue with gay soldiers, then they should just go home. I didn't actually watch the video of this myself, but heard about it from what D wrote on her facebook page. She said "I think that Lady Gaga should stick to perfoming songs & stop saying that straight soldiers should leave the military for not wanting gays in it. She really should think before opening her diarrhea mouth. The reason she can speak at all is because of the straight & gay soldiers in the military.....Shut uP Gaga ur a politcal idiot. We know u love ur gays, but stay away from politics!"
Well... I didn't even know what to make of this. I mean.. she was contradicting herself in so many ways in this statement. Her friends from Florida were all agreeing with her in their comments, so I wrote "Politics affect us all babe, she has just as much a right to make her opinion known as the rest of us. xoxo"
D: okay, but she's an idiot. she needs to pick her words...or only open her mouth to sing :)
(I'm thinking... ummm... she DID pick her words lol. The point she was making was a heavy one... she picked her words pretty well I'd say.)
I wrote: So just because you don't agree with her opinion, she shouldnt be allowed to say it?
D: She said "straight soldiers should go home" for being prejudice....if that happens, who is goingto fight for us?? She's retarded :)
I wrote: well maybe it wouldn't be an issue if there wasnt so much prejudice. She is acknowledging how ridiculous it is to be prejudice over gays who are doing the same damn thing, fighting for our rights. She isn't retarded. (by now I was really getting fed up.)
She started trying to just be funny I think after that.. which infuriated me even more. I don't want to sound 'prejudice' against house wives... but what it has done to her is just ridiculous. I know that her husband doesnt agree with gays being out in the military, so that has become her opinion as well. Instead of forming her own opinion, or keeping the backbone she used to have, she's basically just become a second voice for his opinions. He and I have gotten into it before when I was over there for dinner. He and I get along just fine, but I think he was taken aback when his wife's friend stood up to him. Probably didn't know what to do with himself lol. But I finally just ended up writing her an email cuz I was tired of going back and forth about it on her page for everyone to see. I wrote:
I can't discuss that anymore with you babe, you'll never understand the struggle and stress that comes with fighting for our rights as humans. You're married, and have a husband who can be open about who he is and what he loves in the military. I am not allowed those same basic human rights. You just don't understand the fight going on right now. I welcome anyone fighting for our rights, including Lady Gaga.
She wrote back "talk at me later. Still luv you!"
Ugh. I'm realizing that I have very little in common with this person who used to be my best friend. But I guess that's ok... I heard once that we all change our friends about every 7 years... and that's because we are always constantly growing and evolving who we are. I just wish that I could get through to her. It's not even something that she cares about... but she chooses to downplay the importance of it for other people. Meh.
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