Unwell by Matchbox Twenty (rob thomas is my baby daddy) just came on my pandora and I'm sitting here listening to the words and isn't it weird how songs that you've heard a thousand times already can suddenly make sense to you in a completely new and different way?
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me.
I'm actually feeling better right now, after writing that last post, and I've just been reading a ton of ya'lls blogs and getting my mind off of my own life, and then a song like that comes on, and it makes me wonder how long I'm gonna be able to keep it up. I really do need to get some sleep, and stop fucking up my sleep schedule so much. Now Somewhere Over the Rainbow just came on.. the version of it that I love.. and just instantly brings tears to my eyes. This has always been one of my favorite songs. My friend actually got married last weekend, and this man who worked at the bed and breakfast sang this song to us as we were getting ready, hair and makeup stuff. It was so sweet. And I can look at her, my newly married friend, and know that I'll find that happiness one day. I'll find my fairytale. Why is it in me to want to search so much for it though? I have so many other things to search for, and this is always the subject that seems to overtake my mind. The never ending search for love. Who knows.
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